Jesus, it's been a long time.

But anyhow pearl_o requested due South, melancholy, and, um, this isn't actually it. I'm still working on the original one (because I am the slowest writer ever), but this piece popped into my head a few days ago, fully formed, so I thought, Why the hell not.

And So To Dark
08.22.05

Yesterday morning, Ray woke up nauseous and uneasy, feeling disoriented until he remembered everything, falling back into his body with a shock. Fraser was quiet and still beside him, and Ray knew without asking that he hadn't slept much, if at all. Ray hadn't, either, at least not until the shadowy hints of dawn had begun to creep across the cabin ceiling.

The night before, Fraser had pinned him down and fucked him, desperate and angry. Fraser's forehead had rested on the back of his neck, and he had run his hands obsessively over Ray's skin, over his back and his arms and his sides, asking with his fingers why and why and why, but Ray had just shook his head. Fraser had bit his neck in response, but it'd felt like surrender, and then he'd wrapped an arm around Ray's waist and curled a hand over Ray's dick, and Ray had muffled his shout in the pillow and come, shuddering, shaking, exhausted.

Two days before that, Fraser had returned to the cabin to find Ray sitting at the dining table with a plane ticket clenched tightly in his right hand, and Fraser had stared in shock. Ray's eyes had met his briefly before looking away and saying in an agonized voice, "I have to."

A beat, and then Fraser had nodded curtly, once, and walked into the bedroom, and they hadn't talked for the rest of the day.

Tonight, Ray is lying besides Fraser, just -- looking. Just looking. And Fraser is doing the same, his face unreadable. Ray reaches out and laces his fingers hesitantly with Fraser's and Fraser's expression cracks, just a little, and they lie like that until the sun dawns.

Tomorrow, they will say nothing as they get dressed and pile Ray's few belongings into the jeep that Fraser borrowed from the outpost, and Ray will hug Diefenbaker hard, one last time, ruffling his fur, and Dief will whine into Ray's neck and Ray will say, softly, "Sorry, buddy," before joining Fraser in the jeep.

When they get to the airport, they will sit awkwardly until the small bush plane that is flying Ray to Yellowknife has arrived and is boarding.

Fraser will walk Ray outside, helping him with one of his two duffel bags. They will reach the point where Fraser can go no further, and he will hand Ray his bag and they will not touch. Ray will walk across the snow-covered tarmac alone, and he will not look back.