May my love for you bloom in death (English Translation)

They asked me if I loved you to death.

I replied:

“She is the guillotine toward which I run. My garden, but also my grave.”

The next day, they insisted on the same question, as if they expected another answer:

“Did you love her to death?”

I paused. I breathed.

And I said:

“After she separates my head from my body; inscribe her name on my grave, and watch as the roses bloom.”

But when you asked me if I loved you to death, I whispered to you:

“Why speak of death, when your love is the life I long to savor?”

@dervishlatino | NNF نشوان نازاريو فيريرا

You want to know what?

Actually it's not fair.

I should have gotten to take my time

And get to know you slowly

I should have been able to take you out

On a real date and pay for everything

I should have gotten to have you over for dinner

And slow dance in the kitchen

Wake up with you in my arms

Make you pancakes for breakfast

I should have gone kicking and screaming

As you broke down my defenses

Because I am not hard to get

And I am easy to love

In spite of everything that has happened

We should have both tried to run as fast as we could

But ended up folding neatly

Like clean linens

Pressing at each other with firm hands

Until you showed up at my door

And said we'll make it work

Instead the universe is torturing me

To have such a connection

To see so clearly what the next 10 years

Of my life could be

But tell me it won't happen

Not with this person

I'm going to cry in the car on the way

Back from the airport

I already know it will take everything in me

To collect myself

And shut out the could have been day dreams

To push forward

There's nothing I can do

And it's just not fair.

I hate, but love you...

It's weird.  I hate him but I love him at the same time.  The love he gave me fuels my rage.  It's like when someone kills your mother, or takes your kid away for no reason. That is the rage I feel.  It's just the connection I felt with him.  It was intense.  We did everything together.  It's hard to forget someone who you've known for so long, and gave you so much but at the same time, took so much away from you.  Thanks though.  I've been getting better..