tw: su*c*de, exam/academic pressure.
i just read that yet another student commits suicide In Kota after two years of trying hard for NEET and just a few days back there were news about 4/5 suicides within 90 days in a reputed National institute… these kinda things they just sit heavy in your chest in a way you can’t really explain.
another student gone because the pressure became too much and the worst part is how normal this is starting to feel. we read it, we feel bad for a minute, we shake our heads, and then we move on like this is just how things are. but how did we even get here. how did one path become so big that it starts deciding who deserves to feel proud and who should feel like they have failed at life.
these are kids, not machines, not ranks, not numbers on a list. real people who stayed up late, who tried again and again, who carried expectations that were never meant to be this heavy. and somewhere in all of that pressure, they stopped feeling like they had a way out.
that is what breaks me the most. not just the loss but the silence before it, the way someone can be struggling so much and still feel like they cannot say it out loud because everyone around them is only asking about marks, attempts, results. no one is asking are you okay, are you tired, do you need a break. and even if they do, it does not feel like a real option because stopping feels like failure, slowing down feels like losing, choosing a different path feels like disappointing everyone.
so they keep going until they cant. this is not just stress, this is a system that makes people feel like their entire worth fits into one result, and when that result does not go their way it feels like everything is over. it should never feel like that, not for anyone. no exam, no path, no expectation should have this kind of power over a life and no student should feel like disappearing is easier than facing one more day of pressure.
if you are someone going through this right now please hear this, you are not your score, you are not your rank, you are not a failure for needing rest or for choosing something else. your life is bigger than this even if it does not feel like it today.
and if you are someone around these students be softer, be kinder, stop measuring people only by what they achieve, because sometimes what someone really needs is just to feel like they are still enough even without a result.
Dear Coaching Institutes
Why do you only visit toppers after the results?Why only enter homes where there's celebration, sweets, and smiling parents?
Why not visit the house of that kid who failed? The one who's hiding in his room, feeling like a burden… The one whose parents haven’t spoken a word since the result came out?
You proudly post photos with toppers, praise their effort, meet their families. But what about the one who gave his best too… and still couldn’t make it?
Why don’t you go wipe his tears? Sit with his parents and say, “Please don’t be angry. Your child tried.”
Not every victory is loud. Sometimes, the greatest strength is shown by those who still breathe under the weight of failure.
Celebrate success all you want. But don’t forget the ones who lost everything to this exam, even their self-worth.
Incase people start to forget
FUCK YOU NTA
✦ hello! welcome to my little corner of the internet ♡
i'm apollonis, a second-year mbbs student from india trying to survive med school one existential crisis at a time
goal: neurosurgery 🧠⚕️
here you'll probably find:
📚 med school notes & study sessions
🩺 pathology, pharmacology, microbiology, and whatever subject is currently haunting me
☕ realistic study days (the productive ones and the "stared at the wall for an hour" ones)
🕯 glimpses of my faith and practice (helpol)
📝 stationery, note-taking, and organization
🎨 the occasional art or fandom detour because balance is important
whether you're another med student, a fellow studyblr, or just someone who enjoys watching people color-code and unsuccessfully meticulously organise their lives—i'm happy you're here.
likes, follows, asks, and study buddies are always welcome ♡
24 apr.
Today my day is kinda bad as there was no electricity for most of the day in an Indian summer. There wasn't much charging on my phone . And mostly i just didn't feel like studying. But for the rest of today. I am planning to :
1) complete kinematics physics galaxy.
2) complete 2 exercises of nlm
3) complete remaining questions of thoery of equation.
No chemistry for today.
I feel writing this blog makes me more accountable because it'll be embarrassing to fail everyday and write it. I'll try my best in whatever time i am left with.
I also heard about the kota suicide thing. I think life is just too much left. Many people change careers in Their late twenties, thirties and even forties. Just stop thinking one exam is your entire life. These coachings and insta gram and just comparing yourself to others just stop it and be kind to yourself.
I don't look really good in this pic but, i find it cool. And I also don't use snap it's depressing.