@swagophile / swagophile.tumblr.com
Sometimes I wanna be the fat milf.. Sometimes I want that to be me... but alas.. I am a small fox with paws and a tail thats almost as big as my body and everyone wants to hurt me or eat me
More people need to learn the rules of kind engagement with wild animals :( I am a biology student and it deeply upsets me when people immediately rush to go try to pet every animal they see. For those uninitiated the rules are:
1. Keep your distance, observe from afar
2. Do not approach them, let them approach you
3. Even the cutest animals can absolutely wreck your shit. Be cautious or face their wrath.
That's true that is how you shluld interact aith swagophile
was playing a shitty backrooms game with friends earlier and i kept pretending I was some kind of VN protagonist trapped in the backrooms so I kept saying random bullshit like "Gh.. I gotta get out of this complex soon before I run into entities. Maybe some Almond Water or a Flashlight might be what I need to get out of this place in one piece.." and I think it was making everyone really annoyed but I kept doing it because i'm stupid and annoying
Every time someone tags characters in my notes I don't recognize I get really scared and whimpery and start tearing up and I have to log off for several minutes or else I start whining and squirming because of how intensely distressed I am. and that includes when people tag #me because i dont know you and youre also a character that youre playing
walking up to a random stranger in public and going Hi there! and they take 1 look at my outfit and then immediately respond with ((VOIDED
This is actually how I feel every time I go outside if I'm honest. The only difference is its not Clint Applewood the Dogboy Sharpshooter voiding me but instead every single well dressed stranger who makes eye contact with me on the train
cartoon bully girl shoves me against a wall and goes "awww~ it thinks it's people~" but then i pull her aside and calmly inform her that i'm pretty sure i'm something else wearing the skin of a person and the more i describe it the more horrified and disgusted she becomes until finally she asks what i think i am underneath and i say. i dunno. but its probly something cool, right? and then she calls be a dweeb and shoves me against a wall again and asks me for lunch money. which i respond to with violent sobbing
She started kicking me and hitting me hard because I made her mad and i said "STOP STOP YOU'RE DAMAGING MY VESSEL" and she got really mad and told me to stop saying that and saying i'm a person and i insisted i wasnt and told her she should unzip my clothes and she called me a pervert and hit me more but eventually she did out of sheer curiousity and my body deflated and a small fox squirmed out of the gaps and looked up at her and she was really confused but then she decided the most sound option was to ask the fox for lunch money instead to which i responded with violent sobbing (fox)
cartoon bully girl shoves me against a wall and goes "awww~ it thinks it's people~" but then i pull her aside and calmly inform her that i'm pretty sure i'm something else wearing the skin of a person and the more i describe it the more horrified and disgusted she becomes until finally she asks what i think i am underneath and i say. i dunno. but its probly something cool, right? and then she calls be a dweeb and shoves me against a wall again and asks me for lunch money. which i respond to with violent sobbing
She started kicking me and hitting me hard because I made her mad and i said "STOP STOP YOU'RE DAMAGING MY VESSEL" and she got really mad and told me to stop saying that and saying i'm a person and i insisted i wasnt and told her she should unzip my clothes and she called me a pervert and hit me more but eventually she did out of sheer curiousity and my body deflated and a small fox squirmed out of the gaps and looked up at her and she was really confused but then she decided the most sound option was to ask the fox for lunch money instead to which i responded with violent sobbing (fox)
*Holding out my hand in a peace sign* You can't spell execute without cute! *In my other hand drags a long gnarled blade scraping loudly against the stone*
cartoon bully girl shoves me against a wall and goes "awww~ it thinks it's people~" but then i pull her aside and calmly inform her that i'm pretty sure i'm something else wearing the skin of a person and the more i describe it the more horrified and disgusted she becomes until finally she asks what i think i am underneath and i say. i dunno. but its probly something cool, right? and then she calls be a dweeb and shoves me against a wall again and asks me for lunch money. which i respond to with violent sobbing
