Random Art Things

i hate how much ai has taken the joy out of seeing something cool. you used to see something cool, like a really intricate drawing or a video of someone doing an insane skill or two animals doing something cute, and because there were no mental gymnastics involved in discerning whether or not it was 'real' you could sit there and have the joy of like, "wow! how did they do that! how cool is it that they made that! what a wonderful moment to have captured!" and now every time i see something remarkable i hate that i have to sit there and be like okay let me go frame by frame to make sure everything lines up. let me double check the page this comes from. let me scroll through the comments to make sure no one called out something i missed. like i want the joy of being able to trust someone else's creation back, please

The axe/shotgun: this is still the same tool for chopping firewood, but with a cartridge amplifier.

@antlerpunk

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality

my grandmas dawg

heres what your grandmas dog wold look like. if they were a trail of ant

im getting sick of this.

i think we've done a great job expanding the view of what a child's favorite animal can be. kids these days can say they love axolotls or pangolins or coelecanths and their decision is respected. maybe their parents can even find them a stuffed animal of it if they know where to look. and i think that's beautiful

what the fuck

been in my head for days

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

okay okay there's more

6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]

Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"

7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "

Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."

:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:

8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."

Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"

Surgeon, pleadingly, within accidental snipping distance of the patient's spinal cord: "Guys, do NOT make me laugh."

OH MY GOD I FORGOT -

9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.

New med student: 👀

and the classique:

Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?

Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list

Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight

Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff

Spinal surgeon: only if they catch me

love when an absolute nightmare of a character is introduced and all you can think is "jesus christ buddy what the hell is your problem" and the narrative gives you a hot minute to stew before explaining Exactly what is Their Problem. and you just sorta sit back in your metaphorical rocking chair and think "huh. yeah okay fair. that would do this to a person, yes."

I think cis women should be allowed to get top surgery even if its not for a medical reason like breast reduction or cancer. I think they should be able to get it even if they're completely cisgender. Some women are just sick of dealing with them and would be much much happier never needing to wear a bra again

One from the archives.

oh my god it hurts

and it's going to hurt forever

every now and then I see people passing screencaps of these posts around, and in the months after I made this post there were people checking in on me assuming I was going through grief or depression or something

to set the record straight, the context is that I had covid and was bleeding from my throat and lungs, but for some ungodly reason, I was feverishly driven to drink lemonade and kept screaming and writhing because I was pouring fizzy lemon juice on open throat wounds

media: we have an anti-authoritarian story for you!

me: sweet hit me with the good stuff

media: so there's this marginalized underclass of people, right?

me: okay

media: and they're like, stigmatized for something that's mostly an aspect of how they are born, or where they're from, or they're badly misunderstood, right?

me: yup, got it, I'm with ya

media: so these people are rebelling against the current social order, because it's the instrument of their suffering

me: oh good great sure

media: but also they're violent and deranged and need to be stopped

me: ...what

media: yeah they're going too far, they're trying to overthrow the system and assassinate the nice cop trying to help them and also they burned down an orphanage

me: ...why? would they burn down an orphanage??

media: extremism is bad

me: still not seeing what this has to do with their fight though???

media: also now they've shot a dog. oops they shot another dog

me: what?! why? I though their motive was to overthrow oppression??

media: yes but their suffering has also made them evil

me: ...???

media: don't worry though, the good guys will defeat them and restore the status quo

me: the status quo that's been killing people?

media: well it turns out it was only killing the kinds of awful people who burn down orphanages and shoot dogs :)

me: oh. this is actually a pro-authoritarian story, isn't it?

media: nooo of course not don't be sillyyyyyy we're super progressive look one of the cops is a black lady don't be sillyyyyyy