I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

*screams of a witch burning at the stake*

THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO

*Gregorian chanting*

13.21

*leper bell ringing*

HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM

*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*

WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES

LITURGIES

*Templar knights praying out loud*

THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

just remembered i have a degree in sound engineering and can voice act

Take it back im telling my mother superior about this 😢

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

Person with a mullet wearing a muscle shirt in a garage: You might think these are some normal cowboy boots, they ain’t. These are boot scooters. [Takes wheels out of dusty boots and stomps them on the ground] If you ain’t bootin’…You ain’t scootin’. [wheels away and runs into a fridge]

It’s very important to know that when he runs into the fridge, the ceiling light turns on

I rarely have a visceral reaction to a TikTok but this one... this one got me

List of wild things in this video:

- The guy whose computer screen you can see at the start is looking up “what to do if a dog has rabies”

- The unbroken wall of hydroflasks in front of the teacher’s podium

- Good Mythical Morning poster

- Inexplicable “NO TALKING DURING RAZOR LOVE” sign

- The guy next to the videographer just has the letters “WBOEOADRS” in giant font on his computer screen

- The teacher knowing to pause for booing after he mentione Ashe County Middle School

- The kid that yells “I hate them!” enthusiastically

- A sign that says “NO FREAKING” with a picture of two stick figures having sex

- Hand-painted “educasion is overated” poster

- The fact that the class knows to say “standing by” when he tells them to stand by

- The woman literally waiting outside the door to hand over the dog

- The tenderness with which he handles the dog before he announces its imminent demise

- “DO YOUR BUCKING VOCAB”

Yall forgot the part where the dog puts his snout in the hole

CANNOT get over this dude's commitment to the bit

The dude is awesome and absolutely correct.

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

here's where to find it on windows 10

Ugh, it was in mine. It's off now.

IT GETS WORSE

I had to turn this off, but it's something that allows Windows and anyone using your device to generate text/images.

LOBOTOMIZE YOUR MACHINES

AI is a freacking plague, I share this for any windows user.

The Dark Site Finder map lets you get a good sense of where near you might be good for stargazing.

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

So I thought y'all would like this too This great white comes to the jersey shore every year and this year they named her and have been tracking her hella so this is Mary Lee and she decided to show herself under this rainbow for pride month A true gay icon

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

love that energy

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.