found dead in a crop top

My recap of Knot ep 8 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

I am not able to provide an accurate recap at this time as my feed has been flooded with dry humping and tiddies in mouths. I don’t know what big guy and little guy have been up to, I haven’t seen them. All I’ve seen is crotches grinding up against each other and tiddies in mouths.

My recap of Knot ep 7 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

Ok so today our guys go see a doctor to check if little guy is pregante. The doctor runs a bunch of tests and tells them that little guy is not pregante. Big guy is like ☹️ Little guy is like “Hell yeah motherfuckers!! Swing and a miss!!!” They go home to their little sex pillow fort and little guy is beaming, he’s over the moon. He won’t have to push a baby out of his butt! yet He proceeds to console his boyfriend with a very enthusiastic bj. Ah, the lighthearted insouciance of a boy who has not yet had an inflatable penis locked inside him and releasing cum like a firehose. We also check in with the other couple, they’re doing weird things with tangerines.

@pointlesscandies you haven’t made any false claims about my viewing habits yet, are you mad at me

My recap of Knot ep 6 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

Big guy and little guy decide to have a fun day doing things they used to do as kids: building forts and blowing raspberries. But their fun day gets derailed when the little guy finds out he might be pregnant. He’s been getting rawdogged up and down by the big guy, but figured it was all good because Ken-on-Ken sex doesn’t result in pregnancy. Except it does if you’re an omega. So sorry my dude, that sucks. I’m sure you’ve got a million questions running through your mind, including “How the hell do I give birth”. I don’t know how any of this works but I’m going to go with Maude Apatow’s explanation: “You push your belly button, then your butt falls off, and then you hold your butt, and you have to dig, and you find a little baby.” Sounds about right! Little guy is devastated. Big guy is over the moon. We also spend some time with another couple, and those guys are aggressively horny. One of them is like “I want you to know what I smell like”, which sounds like an answer to the question “Why won’t you take a shower?” He yeets his boyfriend onto his bed like an old rag doll, then licks his teeth before giving him the BL special, a leg-thrown-over-the-shoulder thigh kiss. They have very enthusiastic, if not skillful, sex.

My recap of Knot ep 5 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

We find our little guy doing a lot of ruminating because he’s got too much time on his hands. This leads to him asking the big guy the age-old question “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” Big guy is like “Hard pass, babe. I’m not trying to fuck a worm.” so little guy gets really upset. He makes some curry but gives it to the dog. Or like, the other dog. The four-legged one. Then big guy goes away on a work trip, and he brings one of little guy’s shirts with him so he can wash it between meetings. Probably between every meeting. He’s gonna wash that shirt real good. When he comes back, him and little guy take a bath together. They’re like “Oh my goodness, we’re so clean now! Here, taste my finger! So clean right? Let me taste your finger! Wow, so clean! Taste my foot!” That’s how you check for cleanliness! Then they have sex while their lower halves are submerged, which I will say is no small feat. I hope that little guy takes probiotics cause that omegussy is about to have a yeast infection.

My recap of Knot ep 4 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

The boys are back, and they’re hanging out in their favourite (and only) spot: their bed. Big guy still hasn’t found a bra, and little guy is like “Omg look at your enormous knockers. They’re so much bigger than mine, see?” He gets crazy turned on by those huge knockers and starts to dry hump the big guy. Then the big guy is like “Hey you know what’s even better than rubbing yourself against my pyjamas?” and proceeds to give him the gluk gluk 3000. Afterwards they lay in bed and little guy asks big guy if he’s frigid, which some might find to be an insulting question to receive after giving someone the head of their life. But not this guy. He’s cool as a cucumber. His tits are simply too big to be bothered.

@pointlesscandies for you queen

My recap of Knot ep 3 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

We return to our friends who appear to still be living inside the oversized microwave oven. They want to get to know each other better, so the little guy presents his hand to the big guy, who sniffs it and then licks it. I’m starting to believe he is a dog in disguise. They then meet a man wearing the biggest ascot I’ve ever seen in my life. Maybe it’s actually a bib. Ascot bib guy doesn’t look happy. Maybe his mom forced him to wear that bib so he wouldn’t get his suit dirty and he’s feeling embarrassed. Dog guy and little guy go back to their microwave oven, and little guy gives dog guy his shirt. Dog guy is like “wow this shirt is really smelly” so he goes into the bathroom to wash it in the bathtub and then he takes his clothes off too because he figures, might as well wash these too. The little guy also plays at tumbling down the stairs, which leads me to think that perhaps he’s actually a muscular child, like a gymnast. Maybe this is the story of a friendship between a child gymnast and a dog, like a Disney movie.

@pointlesscandies here you go 😘

My recap of Knot ep 2 as someone who is not watching the show but has a tumblr account:

A big guy and a little guy spend most of their time in bed. The big guy has giant knockers but prefers to go braless (good for him). The bed seems to somehow be inside an oversized microwave oven, and when the microwaves start, they both get very sick but also very horny. At some point they get into an argument: the little guy says they’re just having casual sex, and the big guy gets mad and farts in bed. His fart scares the little guy so much that he starts to cry.

@pointlesscandies this is the best I can do for you