vision, guile, might… and sacrifice.
a comic study of ambessa’s noxian principles of war as they appear in arcane season ii act ii.
trying to explain why i like horror to people who don’t: ok so you know how it’s fun to be deeply disturbed and unsettled
saw an IG reel where this guy was like "i've had a bad day but my girlfriend can cheer me up" and she lifts up her arm for him to smell her armpit. some guy in the comments was like "haters don't understand. she clearly has deodorant on and a subtle scent. if she actually smelled he wouldn't be going in like that."
no, baby i don't think you understand
I just want to help my friends.
things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:
- the city of los angeles
- the city of new york
- sex
- how drinking alcohol works
- how getting high works
- how a child of any age speaks
- how nuclear physics work
- how [my job] works
- how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is
- how hypothermia works
things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:
- what french toast is
read through the notes on this one trust me
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
- banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
- generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
- zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
- thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
- sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
- zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
- salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
- baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
- maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
- livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
- lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”
There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”
There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.
okay look i know this isn't relevant to this post past the second paragraph but. here's the thing. the facts of the case are as follows:
1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019
2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later
3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass
4) this happens. all the time
more importantly:
5) my current partner is on tumblr
6) they love to incessantly send me posts
WHICH MEANS:
7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:
8) they really, really are ganging up on me with her. god help us if there's an afterlife and those two ever actually meet. "eternal rest" my ass, i will never know peace again
you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time
would you like to share with the class 🤔
saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute
would you like to unshare with the class
This picture is NOT CUTE
they are making her use Window 8. unimaginably cruel
Opening up commissions! I have two slots open right now and I kinda don’t know what I’m doing but hey, worth a shot.
renaissance faire has been such a blast!