come for the monsters, stay for the cannibalism

never forget what's really important: approval from pervert women on the internet

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

i go to the zoo from cxgf is truly one of the best songs ever written. i look at the monkeys. their eyes look like my eyes…

Sometimes what you write isn't what is popular. Write it anyway. Imagine how unutterably dull the world would be if the only stories that exist were the popular ones. Sure, you may not get the traction you might want, but you get the satisfaction of creating something that matters. It's not easy, but it is important, so do it anyway.

I wish I took a better pic of this writing in a bar bathroom in toronto bc I think of it so often. Be So Completely Yourself That No One Is Attracted To You Or Wants To Employ You

If Thara Celehar fumbles the bag on the hot opera composer who is absolutely madly in love with him JUST because he's been having sexual tension with a traffic guard for six months and now that guy is by a crazy happenstance his new bodyguard, I'm going to be so mad at him

UGH guess which scene i just got to 😅

the thing is that olgarezh is such a late addition, even in the book where he was introduced at the beginning, and iäna has been there asking thara to be on thee and thou terms and inviting thara to meet his mother and holding thara's hand and hearing thara's most vulnerable confessions and paying thara's rent while he's unexpectedly out of town and offering to sleep in thara's bed if it will help with thara's nightmares??????

if this happened in a tv show, i'd be like, okay, perhaps the actor playing iäna objected to the storyline because he'd recently had a scandal involving scruff and grindr and he didn't want people getting either the wrong or right idea about him, and the writers were like, okay, then we'll introduce this olgarezh character to do a version of the plotline anyway—

BUT IT'S A NOVEL. WHY DID SHE DO THIS?

Okay, having now finished the book, here's my best guess at what happened: she was married to the idea of the Clenverada chasing Thara out of Amalo, either because she'd written herself into a trap, or because she wanted to end the Cemetaries of Amalo trilogy with Celehar out of Amalo (maybe she wants to put him in a new location in a future book? maybe that's just the one move that felt right? who can say)

and having made that decision, she was like, well, Iäna isn't going to leave Amalo, though. And I think that's right! He wouldn't, not unless he absolutely had to, which would mean I think pretty drastically changing the plot to accommodate a threat to Iäna's life, since I can't imagine anything else would persuade him to leave the Opera, his career, and his mother behind, even for love. and having made THAT decision, I can imagine deciding that having Thara tragically part from his lover wasn't the note she wanted to end the trilogy on, and so came up with olgarezh, and just sort of stapled him in there as a way to leave us with a final image of thara cehelar, who is going to be okay.

I don't think it WORKED, but I can see how the decisions all happened.

now to see if I'm mad enough about this to write fic about it 😅

If Thara Celehar fumbles the bag on the hot opera composer who is absolutely madly in love with him JUST because he's been having sexual tension with a traffic guard for six months and now that guy is by a crazy happenstance his new bodyguard, I'm going to be so mad at him

UGH guess which scene i just got to 😅

the thing is that olgarezh is such a late addition, even in the book where he was introduced at the beginning, and iäna has been there asking thara to be on thee and thou terms and inviting thara to meet his mother and holding thara's hand and hearing thara's most vulnerable confessions and paying thara's rent while he's unexpectedly out of town and offering to sleep in thara's bed if it will help with thara's nightmares??????

if this happened in a tv show, i'd be like, okay, perhaps the actor playing iäna objected to the storyline because he'd recently had a scandal involving scruff and grindr and he didn't want people getting either the wrong or right idea about him, and the writers were like, okay, then we'll introduce this olgarezh character to do a version of the plotline anyway—

BUT IT'S A NOVEL. WHY DID SHE DO THIS?

If Thara Celehar fumbles the bag on the hot opera composer who is absolutely madly in love with him JUST because he's been having sexual tension with a traffic guard for six months and now that guy is by a crazy happenstance his new bodyguard, I'm going to be so mad at him

UGH guess which scene i just got to 😅

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