kali

im so SICK of you parasocial fans. it actually makes me so disgusted to be a kpop fan in general sometimes but mainly i hate to be a part of this fandom when these times come across.

first of all, rest in peace, mina. you didn't deserve all of what happened to you and i hope you find love and happiness in heaven. i offer my condolences to your friends and family for the loss they shouldn't have had.

second of all, i cannot believe you all harassed a poor girl to the point where she unal*ved herself. all over the fact that she was disappointed that sunoo picked up the bouquet she bought for ni-ki (her bias) and posed w it instead of ni-ki.

it will never be understandable the need to bully a girl and make up things about her despite her apologizing and clearing up the situation for multiple days over such a small thing like this.

then the fact that you guys thought ni-ki was talking about her in his live and used that to harass her even more. what makes it worse is that 1) he had made it clear what kind of people he was referring to and 2) even if he was referring to her, there's no need to cyberbully people like this even when they have cleared the situation up and apologized.

this extends to the people who are hating on the female lead in enhypen's new album teasers. she is doing her JOB. same goes to people who hated on the female dancers from bite me, you guys ruined an amazing choreography.

you parasocial fans need to step away and realize that enhypen do not belong to you. they are humans and are allowed to interact with both men and women. they are not our puppet dolls.

additionally not everything a fan does is for their idol's attention. i hope you realize that you parasocial fans are projecting your incredulous desires of being noticed by your idols onto the rest of us regular fans who simply just want to show appreciation for our idols and the hard work they put in.

i hope everyone involved in this poor girl's suffering reflect on your actions and realize how deeply horrible you have been. you both may be behind screens but that doesn't mean your words do not have an impact. i hope you understand how your words affected this girl and unlearn your parasocial relationships and cruel ways to become kinder people in the future.

l.a.m.b. ss06

695 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. frat!jo

“Don’t touch the top. Serious, babe, if you touch the top I’m getting a divorce before we even get married,” Satoru muttered, though his head was dead weight against your stomach.

You were perched on the marble edge of the bathroom sink, your thighs framing his shoulders. He was standing between your legs, supposedly at your mercy, but he still had that smirk plastered on his face, the one that made you want to either kiss him or slap the back of his head.

“First of all, shut up,” you said, snapping the shears right next to his ear just to make him blink. “Second of all, you’re the one who begged me to do this because you didn't want to pay eighty bucks for a fade. So sit your ass still and let me cook, or you’re gonna look like a literal thumb for the next three weeks.”

“I’m just saying, my hair is a national treasure. People pay good money to look this effortlessly majestic,” he droned, his voice carrying that unbothered drawl he used whenever he was trying to be an absolute asshole. He reached up, his warm hand wrapping around your thigh, squeezing just enough to be distracting. “If you mess this up, I’m giving you the silent treatment. For a week. Minimum. No late-night food runs, no doing that thing with my tongue—”

“Satoru, I swear to God, keep talking and I’m taking a chunk out of the front,” you threatened, shifting your weight on the sink. Your long acrylics clicked against the metal of the scissors as you combed through a section of his hair, your hoops were swinging with every movement of your head. You weren't a licensed cosmetologist, but you had watched enough TikTok tutorials to feel overly confident.

He chuckled, a low, vibration against your leg, but he actually stayed still for a second. You closed your eyes for half a beat, praying to whatever holy power was listening that you wouldn’t jack his hairline up. If you ruined his look, you’d never hear the end of it. He was already a dramatic character ; so a bad haircut would turn him into a full-blown nightmare.

Carefully, you lined up the clippers, buzzing the back of his neck. The hum of the machine filled the small, brightly lit bathroom. You leaned in close, your chest brushing his shoulder, entirely focused on making sure the line was straight.

“You smell like vanilla and bad decisions,” Satoru murmured, looking up at you through his eyelashes, his eyes were almost aggressively blue under the harsh bathroom vanity lights. He looked entirely too smug for a man whose social life rested on a pair of cheap Amazon shears.

“And you smell like Axe body spray and weed, but you don’t hear me complaining,” you shot back, tapping his chin with the flat of the comb to make him look forward. “Keep your head straight, boy. I’m doing the sides.”

“Boy? Wow. Friend-zoned by my own girl while she’s holding a weapon to my throat. It’s Toxic babe.” He rolled his eyes, but a lazy grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a vape, took a hit, and blew the cloud directly toward the ceiling fan. “Look, just don't make me look like a narc. If I don't look like I can successfully dodge a felony charge by the time you're done, we're fighting.”

“You already look like a narc who tries too hard to blend in at a rave,” you laughed, a loud, sharp giggle bouncing off the tile walls. You carefully blended the fade into the top, blowing away the stray white hairs that fell onto his forehead. “There. Stop moving. I’m almost done.”

You switched back to the scissors, snipping away the stray, dead ends at the top just to even it out, making sure not to take off any actual length like he’d warned. You took your time, wiping his forehead with a damp towel when you were finished, brushing the rogue hairs off his shoulders.

“Alright, look at yourself,” you said, slapping his shoulder playfully. “And don't say I never did anything for you.”

Satoru stepped back, shaking his head out like a dog to get the loose hairs off before leaning into the mirror. He turned his head left, then right, squinting at his reflection. He ran a hand through the top, fluffing it back up into its usual messy, gravity-defying state. The fade was actually clean, cleaner than it had any right to be.

He turned back around to face you, leaning his hands on the sink on either side of your hips, trapping you there. The satisfied smirk returned tenfold.

“Damn,” he murmured, leaning in until his nose brushed yours. “You actually did it. I don't look like a thumb. I look delicious. Honestly? I might have to take you out to a nice dinner instead of just getting Wendy’s drive-thru.”

“Oh, so I graduate to a sit-down restaurant because I saved your life?” You wrapped your arms around his neck, your nails scratching gently against his freshly buzzed skin. “You’re buying me the expensive seafood place downtown, Satoru. And a new bag.”

“A bag? Pulling extortion tactics now?” He laughed, kissing you hard and sudden, his hands gripping your waist to lift you slightly off the counter. When he pulled back, his eyes were gleaming with that stupid, boyish charm. “Fine. Seafood. But only because you’re hot and I don’t have to wear a hat to the restaurant.”

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ I wanted to try out a new format, something a bit shorter, because sometimes I have ideas for scenes that don’t always turn into a full-length story, so I decided to switch things up and write in this format whenever an idea pops into my head. Soo yeahhh Here you go anddd sorry for any typos I missed. I proofread it, but I don’t always catch everything, sooo. anywaysss love y'all mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

800 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!toru ( +18 )

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to keep the facecam on while you’re bent over the desk in front of him, one hand on your hip and the other clicking through chat donations like it’s just another Tuesday. “Yeah I’ll do the ranked climb later,” he says into the mic, voice completely even, then leans forward and pushes into you slow and deep. He mutes for two seconds, mutters “fuck, clamp down like that again,” then unmutes and answers a sub question about his sensitivity settings while his hips keep rolling.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you sit on his face during the loading screens, tongue working slow and deliberate while the queue timer ticks down. Every time the match is about to start he lifts you off just enough to say “one more, don’t come yet,” then goes right back to licking into you like he’s got all the time in the world. When the game finally loads he sets you back in his lap, still dripping, and starts playing with one hand while the other stays between your legs, fingers sliding in and out in time with the fights.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to edge you for an entire three-hour stream, never letting you finish. He keeps a toy inside you on the lowest setting the whole time, remote in his pocket, and every time chat donates he turns it up for a few seconds just to watch you shift in the chair next to him. “You good?” he asks casually. You nod too fast and he smirks, turns the vibe higher, and goes back to explaining the new update like nothing’s happening.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to let you give him head under the desk during collabs, completely straight-faced while he talks to other streamers on Discord. His hand stays in your hair the whole time, guiding you slow, and every time someone asks him a question he answers clearly even as your throat tightens around him. When the call ends he looks down, thumb brushing your bottom lip, and says “swallow,” quiet and calm, with a slight smirk.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to record a private video just for the two of you after a long stream, camera still rolling while he bends you over the same chair. He talks the whole time in that same low voice, telling you exactly how wet you are, how good you take it, how chat would lose their minds if they could see. “Look at the camera,” he says, gripping your hair and tilting your face up. “Wanna see later how pretty you look when you’re full.”

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you edge yourself on camera while he plays, just out of frame. He tells you the rules in that same calm voice he uses for tutorials: “Fingers only. No coming until I say.” Every time you get close he glances over, shakes his head once, and you have to stop. Chat keeps asking why he keeps looking to the side. He just smirks and says “checking something,” then turns the sensitivity of the toy up another notch without ever taking his eyes off the game for long.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ Guys I’m obsessed with him in this kind of AU... I wish he were real..anyway hope y’all enjoyed it ??mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

1.0k words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!toru ( +18 )

Satoru had you bent over the edge of the bed, one hand splayed between your shoulder blades keeping you down, the other locked around your hip. The mirror across the room caught everything ; your face half-buried in the sheets, mouth open, eyes glassy. He watched himself fuck into you, slow and deep at first, then harder when your thighs started shaking.

“Look at you,” he murmured, voice low and rough with that cocky edge he never bothered hiding. “Can’t even keep your eyes open. You’re taking it so fucking well.”

You made a soft, broken sound, more whine than word, fingers twisting in the blanket. He rolled his hips and bottomed out, grinding there just to feel you clench around him. Your reflection showed the exact second the pleasure hit, lips parting wider, a dazed little flutter of your lashes.

“There it is.” He pulled almost all the way out and snapped back in, the sound wet and sharp in the quiet room. “That face. I could watch it all night.”

You tried to push back against him, needy, but he controlled the pace completely. Every thrust forced another soft, high noise out of you. He leaned over your back, chest warm against your skin, and reached around to cup your chin, tipping your face up toward the mirror.

“Open your eyes for me babe.”

You did, slow and heavy-lidded. The sight of yourself, flushed, messy, completely taken made you clench hard around him. He groaned under his breath and fucked into you harder, the hand on your hip tightening until you felt the bruise forming.

“.. You love this uh ? Love getting bent over and used while I stare at how pretty you look when you’re falling apart.”

“Sa..toru—” Your voice cracked on his name, half plea, half complaint. You sounded wrecked already, needy and spaced out.

He chuckled, and slowed down just enough to make you whimper in protest. “What? You want it faster? Harder? Use your words, baby. I know you can.”

You shook your head against the mattress, hips trying to chase him. “Please… just—don’t stop—”

“Not stopping sweetheart.” He drove in deep again, the force of it rocking you forward. His free hand slid down your stomach and found your clit, circling slow and deliberate while he kept thrusting. “Not when you sound like that. Not when you’re this wet for me.”

Your arms gave out. You dropped fully onto the bed, face turned to the side so you could still see the mirror. He followed you down without missing a beat, covering you, fucking you into the mattress. Every stroke punched soft, desperate noises out of your throat. He watched the whole time, your open mouth, the way your eyes kept rolling back, the helpless little trembles that ran through you every time he hit that spot just right.

“That’s it,” he breathed against your ear. “You’re doing so fucking good for me.”

You were past coherent answers, reduced to soft, continuous whines and the occasional broken “please.” He kept the pressure on your clit steady, thrusts deep and relentless, until your whole body went tight under him. The orgasm hit hard, your reflection showed it clearly, the way your face crumpled, mouth falling open on a silent cry before the sound finally tore free.

He didn’t stop. He fucked you through it, slower now but still deep, riding the aftershocks until you were shaking and oversensitive, pushing weakly at his hip. Only then did he pull out, turn you onto your back, and push back in facing you. Your legs wrapped around him automatically. He braced over you, blue eyes half-lidded and smug, and started moving again, gentler this time, rolling into you while he watched every flicker of expression on your face up close.

“Still with me?” he asked, voice softer but still teasing.

You nodded, dazed, hands sliding up his arms. “Mmm… just—just slow for a second..”

“Got you.” He kissed the corner of your mouth, then deeper, swallowing the soft sounds you made. His hips kept a steady, deep rhythm, not rushing. One hand stroked your hair back from your face. “But you’re so fucking beautiful like this. Completely gone on my cock.”

You let out a quiet, needy whimper against his lips. He smiled into the next kiss, still moving, still watching you like you were the only thing in the room worth looking at.

“Gonna make you cum again princess,” he promised, low and certain. “Then maybe I’ll let you rest. Maybe..”

You didn’t argue. You just held on, legs tightening around him, already drifting back under the slow, relentless pleasure he was feeding you.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻I think I’m a little obsessed with writing about him right now... He’s so much fun to write about him! Butttt anyway, I hope you liked it mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

800 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!toru ( +18 )

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to keep the facecam on while you’re bent over the desk in front of him, one hand on your hip and the other clicking through chat donations like it’s just another Tuesday. “Yeah I’ll do the ranked climb later,” he says into the mic, voice completely even, then leans forward and pushes into you slow and deep. He mutes for two seconds, mutters “fuck, clamp down like that again,” then unmutes and answers a sub question about his sensitivity settings while his hips keep rolling.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you sit on his face during the loading screens, tongue working slow and deliberate while the queue timer ticks down. Every time the match is about to start he lifts you off just enough to say “one more, don’t come yet,” then goes right back to licking into you like he’s got all the time in the world. When the game finally loads he sets you back in his lap, still dripping, and starts playing with one hand while the other stays between your legs, fingers sliding in and out in time with the fights.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to edge you for an entire three-hour stream, never letting you finish. He keeps a toy inside you on the lowest setting the whole time, remote in his pocket, and every time chat donates he turns it up for a few seconds just to watch you shift in the chair next to him. “You good?” he asks casually. You nod too fast and he smirks, turns the vibe higher, and goes back to explaining the new update like nothing’s happening.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to let you give him head under the desk during collabs, completely straight-faced while he talks to other streamers on Discord. His hand stays in your hair the whole time, guiding you slow, and every time someone asks him a question he answers clearly even as your throat tightens around him. When the call ends he looks down, thumb brushing your bottom lip, and says “swallow,” quiet and calm, with a slight smirk.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to record a private video just for the two of you after a long stream, camera still rolling while he bends you over the same chair. He talks the whole time in that same low voice, telling you exactly how wet you are, how good you take it, how chat would lose their minds if they could see. “Look at the camera,” he says, gripping your hair and tilting your face up. “Wanna see later how pretty you look when you’re full.”

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you edge yourself on camera while he plays, just out of frame. He tells you the rules in that same calm voice he uses for tutorials: “Fingers only. No coming until I say.” Every time you get close he glances over, shakes his head once, and you have to stop. Chat keeps asking why he keeps looking to the side. He just smirks and says “checking something,” then turns the sensitivity of the toy up another notch without ever taking his eyes off the game for long.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ Guys I’m obsessed with him in this kind of AU... I wish he were real..anyway hope y’all enjoyed it ??mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

695 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. frat!jo

“Don’t touch the top. Serious, babe, if you touch the top I’m getting a divorce before we even get married,” Satoru muttered, though his head was dead weight against your stomach.

You were perched on the marble edge of the bathroom sink, your thighs framing his shoulders. He was standing between your legs, supposedly at your mercy, but he still had that smirk plastered on his face, the one that made you want to either kiss him or slap the back of his head.

“First of all, shut up,” you said, snapping the shears right next to his ear just to make him blink. “Second of all, you’re the one who begged me to do this because you didn't want to pay eighty bucks for a fade. So sit your ass still and let me cook, or you’re gonna look like a literal thumb for the next three weeks.”

“I’m just saying, my hair is a national treasure. People pay good money to look this effortlessly majestic,” he droned, his voice carrying that unbothered drawl he used whenever he was trying to be an absolute asshole. He reached up, his warm hand wrapping around your thigh, squeezing just enough to be distracting. “If you mess this up, I’m giving you the silent treatment. For a week. Minimum. No late-night food runs, no doing that thing with my tongue—”

“Satoru, I swear to God, keep talking and I’m taking a chunk out of the front,” you threatened, shifting your weight on the sink. Your long acrylics clicked against the metal of the scissors as you combed through a section of his hair, your hoops were swinging with every movement of your head. You weren't a licensed cosmetologist, but you had watched enough TikTok tutorials to feel overly confident.

He chuckled, a low, vibration against your leg, but he actually stayed still for a second. You closed your eyes for half a beat, praying to whatever holy power was listening that you wouldn’t jack his hairline up. If you ruined his look, you’d never hear the end of it. He was already a dramatic character ; so a bad haircut would turn him into a full-blown nightmare.

Carefully, you lined up the clippers, buzzing the back of his neck. The hum of the machine filled the small, brightly lit bathroom. You leaned in close, your chest brushing his shoulder, entirely focused on making sure the line was straight.

“You smell like vanilla and bad decisions,” Satoru murmured, looking up at you through his eyelashes, his eyes were almost aggressively blue under the harsh bathroom vanity lights. He looked entirely too smug for a man whose social life rested on a pair of cheap Amazon shears.

“And you smell like Axe body spray and weed, but you don’t hear me complaining,” you shot back, tapping his chin with the flat of the comb to make him look forward. “Keep your head straight, boy. I’m doing the sides.”

“Boy? Wow. Friend-zoned by my own girl while she’s holding a weapon to my throat. It’s Toxic babe.” He rolled his eyes, but a lazy grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a vape, took a hit, and blew the cloud directly toward the ceiling fan. “Look, just don't make me look like a narc. If I don't look like I can successfully dodge a felony charge by the time you're done, we're fighting.”

“You already look like a narc who tries too hard to blend in at a rave,” you laughed, a loud, sharp giggle bouncing off the tile walls. You carefully blended the fade into the top, blowing away the stray white hairs that fell onto his forehead. “There. Stop moving. I’m almost done.”

You switched back to the scissors, snipping away the stray, dead ends at the top just to even it out, making sure not to take off any actual length like he’d warned. You took your time, wiping his forehead with a damp towel when you were finished, brushing the rogue hairs off his shoulders.

“Alright, look at yourself,” you said, slapping his shoulder playfully. “And don't say I never did anything for you.”

Satoru stepped back, shaking his head out like a dog to get the loose hairs off before leaning into the mirror. He turned his head left, then right, squinting at his reflection. He ran a hand through the top, fluffing it back up into its usual messy, gravity-defying state. The fade was actually clean, cleaner than it had any right to be.

He turned back around to face you, leaning his hands on the sink on either side of your hips, trapping you there. The satisfied smirk returned tenfold.

“Damn,” he murmured, leaning in until his nose brushed yours. “You actually did it. I don't look like a thumb. I look delicious. Honestly? I might have to take you out to a nice dinner instead of just getting Wendy’s drive-thru.”

“Oh, so I graduate to a sit-down restaurant because I saved your life?” You wrapped your arms around his neck, your nails scratching gently against his freshly buzzed skin. “You’re buying me the expensive seafood place downtown, Satoru. And a new bag.”

“A bag? Pulling extortion tactics now?” He laughed, kissing you hard and sudden, his hands gripping your waist to lift you slightly off the counter. When he pulled back, his eyes were gleaming with that stupid, boyish charm. “Fine. Seafood. But only because you’re hot and I don’t have to wear a hat to the restaurant.”

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ I wanted to try out a new format, something a bit shorter, because sometimes I have ideas for scenes that don’t always turn into a full-length story, so I decided to switch things up and write in this format whenever an idea pops into my head. Soo yeahhh Here you go anddd sorry for any typos I missed. I proofread it, but I don’t always catch everything, sooo. anywaysss love y'all mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

[◉°] maelynroland

How i be reading smut wth a straight face in bed

cutiee!!

800 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!toru ( +18 )

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to keep the facecam on while you’re bent over the desk in front of him, one hand on your hip and the other clicking through chat donations like it’s just another Tuesday. “Yeah I’ll do the ranked climb later,” he says into the mic, voice completely even, then leans forward and pushes into you slow and deep. He mutes for two seconds, mutters “fuck, clamp down like that again,” then unmutes and answers a sub question about his sensitivity settings while his hips keep rolling.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you sit on his face during the loading screens, tongue working slow and deliberate while the queue timer ticks down. Every time the match is about to start he lifts you off just enough to say “one more, don’t come yet,” then goes right back to licking into you like he’s got all the time in the world. When the game finally loads he sets you back in his lap, still dripping, and starts playing with one hand while the other stays between your legs, fingers sliding in and out in time with the fights.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to edge you for an entire three-hour stream, never letting you finish. He keeps a toy inside you on the lowest setting the whole time, remote in his pocket, and every time chat donates he turns it up for a few seconds just to watch you shift in the chair next to him. “You good?” he asks casually. You nod too fast and he smirks, turns the vibe higher, and goes back to explaining the new update like nothing’s happening.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to let you give him head under the desk during collabs, completely straight-faced while he talks to other streamers on Discord. His hand stays in your hair the whole time, guiding you slow, and every time someone asks him a question he answers clearly even as your throat tightens around him. When the call ends he looks down, thumb brushing your bottom lip, and says “swallow,” quiet and calm, with a slight smirk.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to record a private video just for the two of you after a long stream, camera still rolling while he bends you over the same chair. He talks the whole time in that same low voice, telling you exactly how wet you are, how good you take it, how chat would lose their minds if they could see. “Look at the camera,” he says, gripping your hair and tilting your face up. “Wanna see later how pretty you look when you’re full.”

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you edge yourself on camera while he plays, just out of frame. He tells you the rules in that same calm voice he uses for tutorials: “Fingers only. No coming until I say.” Every time you get close he glances over, shakes his head once, and you have to stop. Chat keeps asking why he keeps looking to the side. He just smirks and says “checking something,” then turns the sensitivity of the toy up another notch without ever taking his eyes off the game for long.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ Guys I’m obsessed with him in this kind of AU... I wish he were real..anyway hope y’all enjoyed it ??mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

just a kind reminder that i am BLACK. so i will always imagine my fem!reader as BLACK.

mwahh 💋

800 words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!toru ( +18 )

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to keep the facecam on while you’re bent over the desk in front of him, one hand on your hip and the other clicking through chat donations like it’s just another Tuesday. “Yeah I’ll do the ranked climb later,” he says into the mic, voice completely even, then leans forward and pushes into you slow and deep. He mutes for two seconds, mutters “fuck, clamp down like that again,” then unmutes and answers a sub question about his sensitivity settings while his hips keep rolling.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you sit on his face during the loading screens, tongue working slow and deliberate while the queue timer ticks down. Every time the match is about to start he lifts you off just enough to say “one more, don’t come yet,” then goes right back to licking into you like he’s got all the time in the world. When the game finally loads he sets you back in his lap, still dripping, and starts playing with one hand while the other stays between your legs, fingers sliding in and out in time with the fights.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to edge you for an entire three-hour stream, never letting you finish. He keeps a toy inside you on the lowest setting the whole time, remote in his pocket, and every time chat donates he turns it up for a few seconds just to watch you shift in the chair next to him. “You good?” he asks casually. You nod too fast and he smirks, turns the vibe higher, and goes back to explaining the new update like nothing’s happening.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to let you give him head under the desk during collabs, completely straight-faced while he talks to other streamers on Discord. His hand stays in your hair the whole time, guiding you slow, and every time someone asks him a question he answers clearly even as your throat tightens around him. When the call ends he looks down, thumb brushing your bottom lip, and says “swallow,” quiet and calm, with a slight smirk.

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to record a private video just for the two of you after a long stream, camera still rolling while he bends you over the same chair. He talks the whole time in that same low voice, telling you exactly how wet you are, how good you take it, how chat would lose their minds if they could see. “Look at the camera,” he says, gripping your hair and tilting your face up. “Wanna see later how pretty you look when you’re full.”

streamer byf ! satoru is the type to make you edge yourself on camera while he plays, just out of frame. He tells you the rules in that same calm voice he uses for tutorials: “Fingers only. No coming until I say.” Every time you get close he glances over, shakes his head once, and you have to stop. Chat keeps asking why he keeps looking to the side. He just smirks and says “checking something,” then turns the sensitivity of the toy up another notch without ever taking his eyes off the game for long.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ Guys I’m obsessed with him in this kind of AU... I wish he were real..anyway hope y’all enjoyed it ??mwahh !

© kɑlirɑees 2026. ɑll works belong to me. do not trɑnslɑte, edit, repost, copy, or feed into generɑtive ɑi.

1.2k words, quick read 𝑓𝑡. byf!𝓈atoru

The bright lights of the office were already giving you a headache, and the stack of spreadsheets on your screen wasn't helping. You were right in the middle of typing up a passive-aggressive email to HR when your phone buzzed on the desk. Without thinking, you glanced down and unlocked it.

Your thumb instantly smashed the volume-down button to dim the brightness to zero, your heart doing a quick, violent spike adrenaline. You looked left, then right, making sure the gossiping receptionist two cubicles over hadn’t caught a glimpse of the massive, completely uninhibited picture of Satoru’s dick currently occupying your screen. You pinched the bridge of your nose, letting out a heavy, exhausted sigh that came straight from your soul.

You two had been together for two years, so modesty was long gone out the window. You’d seen it a thousand times, but doing this while you were clocked in was begging for trouble. The text underneath the picture made you close your eyes in pure disbelief:

“Look closely right near the top left side. I swear this mole wasn't there yesterday. Is it a freckle? Anyway, you think you can come bless it with your mouth tonight? It needs some TLC, babe. Lmk.”

"This boy is a damn fool," you muttered to yourself, shaking your head as you keeping it flat against the desk so only you could see.

You tapped out a quick response: “I am literally at my desk. If HR sees this, I’m telling them you’re a stalker. And no, I’m not blessing shit, go see a dermatologist you freak.”

Not even three seconds later, the phone started ringing. It was a FaceTime call. You aggressively swiped to decline it and immediately typed: “DO NOT CALL ME ON FACETIME AT WORK.”

The phone buzzed again. A voice note. You grabbed your wired headphones, shoved one earbud in, and pressed play.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that, beautiful," Satoru’s voice whined through the speaker, dripping with that irritatingly and cocky energy he always carried. You could practically hear the smirk on his face. "I'm genuinely concerned about my health here, and you're talking about HR? They're just jealous they don't get updates like that. Seriously though, look at the placement. It’s like a little target for you. I’ll be waiting on the couch. Wear that little lip gloss I like."

You rolled your eyes so hard it actually hurt. You grabbed your purse, stood up from your desk, and marched straight to the breakroom where you knew it would be empty. The second the door clicked shut, you dialed his number.

He answered on the first ring. "There she is! Did you miss me?"

"Satoru, I am two seconds away from blocking your phone number, your email, and your fucking cashapp," you said, your voice was low but sharp. "Are you stupid or do you just lack home training? Why would you send that while I'm on the clock?"

"Because I knew it would make you think of me," he chuckled, the sound vibrating through the line. You could hear the rustle of him shifting around, probably lounging on the couch in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants. "And plus, it’s a medical emergency. You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to check me for signs of illness. It’s in the contract babe."

" Fuck your contract and the only illness you got is in your head," you snapped back, though the corner of your mouth twitched. "A target? Satoru, I will bite it off. Keep playing with me."

"Ooh, aggressive. I like it when you get all mean with me, turn me on a little more," he teased, his laugh was loud. "But seriously, you're not mad. You took a screenshot, didn't you? Go ahead, look at it again. Zoom in on the mole. Tell me it doesn’t look like a little beauty mark."

"I did not screenshot that big ass pink monster on my government phone, Satoru!" you hissed, trying to keep your voice down so the people in the hallway wouldn't hear you. "And it's a regular mole. You're twenty four years old, your body changes. You're not dying."

"So... no blessing?" he asked, his tone dropping into that ridiculously pouty and exaggerated whine he used whenever he wanted to get his way. "Not even a little bit? I washed it and everything just for you. Smells like that cocoa butter soap you bought me."

You let out a sharp, breathless laugh, shaking your head as you leaned against the breakroom counter. He really was a hopeless case, and he knew exactly how to push your buttons and exactly how to smooth things over right after.

"You are a lost cause ," you said, sighing. "I'll look at it when I get home. With my eyes, Satoru. Not my mouth."

"Hey, I'll take what I can get," he said, sounding entirely too victorious. "But hey, since you're already on your feet, can you pick up some of those hot wings on your way back? The extra spicy ones? Your boy is starving."

"Oh, so now I'm your delivery driver too?"

"You're my beautiful, amazing, wonderful girlfriend who loves me and doesn't want me to starve to death on the couch," he corrected smoothly. "Get the ten-piece. I'll pay you back in... alternative methods."

"Goodbye, Satoru."

"Love you, babe! See you in an hour!"

You hung up the phone, staring at the blank screen for a second before a small, defeated smile finally broke through your irritated expression. You adjusted your lip gloss in the breakroom mirror, smoothed down your skirt, and headed back to your desk. You really had a handful with that man, but as you sat back down to finish your emails, you had to admit the rest of the workday was going to go by a whole lot faster.

᭡ kali’s notes ⸻ hope y’all enjoyed it ?? mwahh !

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