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Here Be Frogs.

@helshades / helshades.tumblr.com

FLUCTUAT NEC MERGITUR Welcome to the Helcave! (Have Frogs. Will Travel) French. Batracian. Geek. Scholar. Nerd. Obsessed. Practically Victorian, minus petticoats. Come hither to be lectured on MCU!Asgard in lengthy fashion and pompous prose! (Also: ranting! fangasms! randomishness!) Warning: severe Anglophilia. Dwell at your own risk.

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

En Anglais, on ne dit pas “quatre vingt dix neuf”, on dit “ninety nine” qu'on pourrait traduire comme “Hurr durr, regardez mois, j'ai un système de numérotation fonctionnel” et je crois que c'est magnifique.

Yeah, sure. Standard French has retained three numbers from the Gaulish base twenty system that survived the Middle Ages and an impressive portion of the Modern era, because of popular use, versus the Roman imposition of the base ten system.

So, sixty-ten, four-twenty, and four-twenty-ten in standard French, whereas regional versions, especially in the South, as well as the Swiss do use 'seventy' (septante), 'eighty' (octante) and 'ninety' (nonante).

Everyone does count using a base ten system, though, at the very least since the late 18th century. Only the number names remain in the language. So, no, English does not enjoy un système de numérotation fonctionnel, juste un vocabulaire lissé dans un domaine extrêmement précis, ce qui est fucking rare for English otherwise, you'll have to admit.

Culture-toi, @fidget-sinner et cesse de ricaner bêtement ou je t'attache à une chaise de dentiste pour t'obliger à épeler tous les mots anglais qui finissent par [ˈnɑjt].

My grandmother died earlier this morning. The staggering number of things one has to perform in order to convince the administration of the fact makes me think of some governmental plot to diminish everyone's pain (by augmenting everyone's irritation significantly).

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

"Six weeks into the term, I assigned my rhetoric and writing students a 20-page article. It was the same length I had assigned for five years and the same length I had read without complaint as an undergraduate a decade ago. Not one student finished it.

When I asked why, a student answered honestly: It was too long, and she kept losing track of what the paper was about. This was not a remedial class: These were students who had cleared the admissions process and written essays good enough to get them here. Yet a routine academic reading assignment had defeated them.

Every generation of professors has complained that their students cannot read. The lament is usually overblown, but data have caught up to anecdote, and what I am seeing in my classroom is no longer a hunch. There is a measurable, generational collapse in sustained reading and writing, and the academy is responding to it with improvisation and exhaustion rather than the structural overhaul it requires.

In February 2024, Adam Kotsko, who teaches in the Shimer Great Books School at North Central College, wrote in Slate that students who once handled 30 pages of reading per class meeting now seem “intimidated by anything over 10 pages and seem to walk away from readings of as little as 20 pages with no real understanding.” Crucially, he added that this is “not a matter of laziness on the part of the students” but of underlying skills they were never given a chance to build.

The Chronicle of Higher Education’s 2024 investigation found the same pattern across institutions as different as the Stevens Institute of Technology and Wellesley College, where the average SAT exceeds 1400. Nicholaus Gutierrez, an assistant professor at Wellesley, told The Chronicle that the baseline for what students consider a reasonable amount of work has dropped so noticeably that he has cut his readings accordingly; a 750-word essay now strikes many students as long. At Stevens, the science and technology studies associate professor Theresa MacPhail described following the mantra of “meet your students where they are” for so long that she has begun to feel “like a cruise director organizing games of shuffleboard.”

Worse, the national data tell the same story in colder language. On the 2011 National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) writing assessment, which is the most recent comprehensive writing benchmark, only 24 percent of 12th graders reached the Proficient level, and just 3 percent reached Advanced; another 21 percent scored below Basic. The reading side of the ledger is worse, and getting worse fast: The 2024 NAEP results released in September 2025 show 12th-grade reading scores at the lowest level recorded since the assessment began in 1992. Thirty-two percent of 12th graders now score below NAEP Basic in reading, meaning that, in the assessment’s own language, they likely “cannot draw general conclusions based on concepts presented explicitly in a text.” And yet more than half of these same seniors reported being accepted to a four-year college. That last sentence is the whole problem in one line: We are admitting a cohort that cannot read at a college level and are pretending otherwise.

Why is this happening? One reason, of course, is smartphones.

I came into teaching as a skeptic of the anti-smartphone argument: I had a phone in my pocket throughout high school and college in the 2010s, and I read long books anyway. I now think I was wrong, because the neuroscience has caught up. In a 2017 paper, Adrian F. Ward and colleagues at the University of Texas at Austin’s McCombs School of Business showed that the mere presence of a participant’s smartphone — whether that be face down, powered off, untouched, or across the desk out of vision — measurably reduces available working memory and fluid intelligence on cognitive tests, with the largest effects on the most phone-dependent users. A 2022 study by Motoyasu Honma and colleagues at Japan’s Showa University used near-infrared spectroscopy to compare reading on a smartphone with reading the same passage on paper, and found that smartphone reading produced overactivity in the prefrontal cortex, suppressed sigh generation, and led to general lower comprehension scores; the authors argued that the sigh inhibition and prefrontal overload were causally linked to the comprehension decline.

So when a student tells me they “kept losing track” of a 20-page article, I have to acknowledge that they may be describing a measurable neurological condition. The neural pathways that support sustained attention are built by use, and they atrophy without it. Your body is a use-it-or-lose-it system, and the brain is no exception.

Another reason for the decline in student reading capability is increasing reliance on generative AI. In June 2025, Nataliya Kosmyna and colleagues at the MIT Media Lab released a preprint titled “Your Brain on ChatGPT.” They divided 54 participants into three groups writing SAT-style essays — one using ChatGPT, the second group using a search engine, the last group using nothing — and monitored brain activity with a 32-channel EEG. The ChatGPT group showed the lowest neural connectivity of the three, with up to 55 percent reduced connectivity compared with the brain-only group, and “consistently underperformed at neural, linguistic, and behavioral levels.” Eighty-three percent of LLM users could not quote a single line from essays they had written minutes earlier. When the LLM group was forced to write without AI in a follow-up session, their brain activity did not bounce back to baseline; the researchers coined the term “cognitive debt” for the lingering deficit.

This is the first neurophysiological evidence that early reliance on LLMs measurably alters the brain’s engagement with writing tasks, and it is consistent with what those of us in front of classrooms are watching happen in real time. When I assign analysis, I am not trying to extract a polished product; I am trying to put the student’s mind through resistance in order to make it stronger. Offloading the struggle to a chatbot does not “free students up for higher-order work.” It deprives them of building the strength to do any substantial cognitive work at all.

There is a final factor that is contributing to this decline in reading skills, and that is that the students arriving in my classroom today are the first cohort to have experienced Common Core-influenced reading instruction across the entirety of their K–12 schooling. Whatever the standards’ original intent, the on-the-ground implementation in many districts replaced sustained reading with the practice of pulling “evidence” from disconnected short passages, the same format used on the standardized tests that increasingly determine school funding. The education scholar Natalie Wexler, among others, has documented this pivot in detail: Students drilled on “finding the main idea” in two-paragraph excerpts never build the stamina or background knowledge that longform reading requires. The pandemic then added fuel to a fire that was already burning. NAEP scores for 13-year-olds dropped sharply in 2022 and have not recovered. A 2023 EdWeek survey found that 24 percent of secondary-school administrators described pandemic learning loss in English and language arts as “severe or very severe.”

In July 2025, the journalist Mary Harrington argued in The New York Times that “thinking is becoming a luxury good.” The ability to read deeply and reason at length is fragmenting along class lines as ultra-processed digital media replaces text in everyday life, much as ultra-processed food has replaced cooking. Her longer treatment of the subject in First Things makes the more provocative case that we are witnessing the end of print culture itself, and with it the end of the cognitive substrate on which modern liberal democracy was built.

I see this stratification in the classroom and on the page every week. My students from districts that protected sustained reading through small class sizes, strict phone policies, and faculty who refused to teach to the test all arrive with their attention relatively intact. My students from districts that surrendered to devices and standardized testing arrive cognitively winded. A democracy that requires a literate electorate is now training one fraction of that electorate out of literacy while marketing to the other a “deep work” lifestyle as a luxury good. The students who cannot read a 20-page article today are the voters who will not be able to read a bill, or the jurors who cannot follow a closing argument, tomorrow.

I do what I can in my own classroom to address the problems. I break 20-page articles into two halves and assign the first half with explicit analytical tasks. I require exploratory writing before formal drafts. I model (visibly, on the board) how to track an argument across pages or distinguish a source’s claim from my own analysis. I make structured peer review explicit, because the workshop format I used to take for granted now collapses into “this is good” and “maybe add more details” the moment I step back.

But I want to be plain about the limits of what an individual instructor can do, and all of these solutions have costs. Scaffolding a 20-page article into halves compromises the integrity of the argument I am asking students to engage, just as modeling note-taking in a credit-bearing rhetoric course is using a college slot to teach a middle-school skill. None of the syllabi I teach are designed to deliver this type of cognitive rehabilitation, and pretending otherwise has produced credential inflation. We cannot keep conferring degrees on students who cannot do what the degree is supposed to certify.

I’m afraid I don’t have answers. I do, however, have some questions that may point us in the right direction. If higher education is going to respond to the reading crisis as a structural problem rather than a private burden carried by composition instructors and adjuncts, it has to stop avoiding the following questions: If a majority of incoming students cannot read at a level the curriculum requires, are we admitting students we cannot serve, or offering a curriculum we cannot provide?

Why are first-year writing and reading-intensive general-education courses still the most adjunctified, lowest-paid, highest-load corner of the university, at the precise moment when their work has become the most important work the institution does? What is the responsible institutional response for AI usage: Is it a syllabus statement, or a sequencing principle that requires students to demonstrate the cognitive work themselves before AI assistance is permitted?

Why are most college classrooms still phone-permissive by default? K–12 districts from Florida to California are now banning phones bell to bell; higher education has somehow lagged behind the public schools. Universities benefit from a pipeline they did not build and refuse to repair. What would it mean for a university system to invest seriously in the reading instruction happening in the high schools that feed it, rather than treating remediation as something to be quietly outsourced to first-year composition instructors?

The thing I am no longer willing to do is pretend this is a temporary adjustment period, or that “students will adapt.” They will not adapt on their own. The conditions that produced this collapse are still in place: the phones, the algorithmic feeds, the test-prep excerpts, staffing models that load the reading-intensive work onto the most precarious faculty, and now the chatbots that finish students’ sentences before they’ve even begun to think of them. If we want literate citizens, we will have to rebuild the conditions for literacy deliberately, against the grain of every incentive currently pointed the other way. I know the academy has the will to do that. It also has the obligation."

— Tyler Jagt, 1 June 2026, "My Students Can’t Read"

Been watching Spider-Noir and I think the one very important but often forgotten thing they got right is that nobody in this show has iPhone Face. Casting department for the extras and supporting roles deserves a raise, because they really nailed the 40s Character Actors look. Lotta faces on this show that look like they were made from Play-Doh and I mean that as a compliment. There's some real mugs, thugs, bulldogs, wet rats, weirdos and GOONS in the people's faces in this crowd. "Whateva you say, boss" and "you wants it to hurt, boss?" henchmen so classically rectangular we're reclaiming the word GOON tonight. Even the little street kids look like winos.

I'm utterly obsessed with the faces of the actors playing the lovely couple in Episode 2 (Tread Lightly) in whose flat Reilly goes to recuperate old stuff of his: she is beautiful but with a very wide, very angular face, whereas his is elungated and narrow. Separately it wouldn't be so noticeable but together they clash and complete each other amazingly. They look like they've be drawn from a comic and I love it.

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No one talks about how much bisexuals pushed gender ideology and pushed conversion therapy beliefs on us.

It wasn’t lesbians. It wasn’t gay men. It was bisexuals. Let me explain.

Bisexuals have nothing to lose when it comes to TRAism. Sure, sometimes trans identified people will say to them they should be attracted to trans identified people or else they’re bigots but homosexuals are, and will always be the main targets of trans individuals to hate on. Why is this? Because they think a lesbian or gay man being attracted to them will be the highest level of validation even though no lesbian will be attracted to a male and no gay man will be attracted to a female, it’s a sick fantasy they have.

Bisexuals don’t see the issue with trans identified people hating on us for our sexuality because they simply can’t relate. For them, genitals and sex doesn’t matter so surely it shouldn’t for homosexuals either. They can’t fathom that for homosexuals, biological sex matters, because they don’t understand from their perspective.

Therefore, most bisexuals don’t stand up for homosexuals. They call us bigots for not being attracted to the opposite sex. They validate trans identified individuals because they don’t see anything wrong with the way they act towards us.

Not only do they have nothing to lose (unless they’re women…but many women support misogynistic causes), but they have so much to gain. Gender ideology positions bisexuality as the one moral sexuality. So many bi people are so excited to get to wax poetic about how superior they are to everyone else for “not seeing gender” or for “not caring about genitals”, or how they care about “hearts not parts”. Unlike those horrible gays who only care about genitals and don’t even care about personality.

It also gives them an opportunity to punch down at homosexuals. Again, they’re viewed as the one moral sexuality, so now they get to take on an Educator role and lecture homosexuals about how horrible and transphobic we are, and how we should open our minds, hearts, and beds to the opposite sex. And they are so smug about this.

As far as the whole “but bi people are also told they’re transphobic if they don’t date trans people” argument goes…I’m sorry but it isn’t the same. When bi people are told this, they aren’t facing demands to change their natural sexuality. In their case, not wanting to date trans identified people really is a preference. One that should absolutely be respected, of course, but still a preference. In the case of homosexuals, it’s our biology. Lesbians cannot be attracted to males no matter how they identify, and gay men cannot be attracted to females no matter how they identify. When we’re told that not wanting to date the opposite sex is transphobic and that we should change, we’re facing homophobic conversion rhetoric.

Big of you all to make a wide call for biphobia and to spread the same kind of uninformed hatred and bigotry that has harmed us consistently throughout time, and then restrain the comments on that message. There are few things uglier than misguided self-satisfaction upon throwing people under the bus just because it feels nice to use whomever you don't understand as scapegoat, since your empathy cannot extend beyond your own libido.

You are not miraculously spared from being an intolerant imbecile just because you are gay. Persecution does not absolve the smugness of your wallowing in the prejudice you actively contribute to layer. You are not right because you feel like you should be. Bisexuality is not a preference, it is a sexual orientation. No one chooses who they desire and love. And there are many bisexual people out there with a deeper attraction to the same sex.

It's not because one is theoretically compatible with a partner that they should be forced into any kind of relationship meant to 'affirm' the other person's warped idea of self-worth. That works for everyone and everything. As a matter of fact, the awful discourse from activists who will demand other people to narrate them into existence is wrong in and of itself, not relatively depending on whether you happen to be personally involved. Gender ideology as it stands today is harmful for women of any persuasion. Gender stereotypes erected into so-called identities harm boys and girls alike.

You all pretend to stand separate from those militants you loathe when in reality you're two sides from the same terrible, postmodern coin. You can't analyse for shit, and you defend nobody: you content yourselves with redirecting bigotry, hoping it'll distract the bigots away from you. It won't. You're only giving them fodder for their cannons. You project. You miss, but you don't miss yourselves.

since your empathy cannot extend beyond your own libido

Thanks for proving the entire point of my post! Another bisexual that hates homosexuals because we can only love the same sex, aka fork found in kitchen 🍴

Possibly your reading comprehension leaves even more to be desired than your social aptitudes.

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Reblogged

No one talks about how much bisexuals pushed gender ideology and pushed conversion therapy beliefs on us.

It wasn’t lesbians. It wasn’t gay men. It was bisexuals. Let me explain.

Bisexuals have nothing to lose when it comes to TRAism. Sure, sometimes trans identified people will say to them they should be attracted to trans identified people or else they’re bigots but homosexuals are, and will always be the main targets of trans individuals to hate on. Why is this? Because they think a lesbian or gay man being attracted to them will be the highest level of validation even though no lesbian will be attracted to a male and no gay man will be attracted to a female, it’s a sick fantasy they have.

Bisexuals don’t see the issue with trans identified people hating on us for our sexuality because they simply can’t relate. For them, genitals and sex doesn’t matter so surely it shouldn’t for homosexuals either. They can’t fathom that for homosexuals, biological sex matters, because they don’t understand from their perspective.

Therefore, most bisexuals don’t stand up for homosexuals. They call us bigots for not being attracted to the opposite sex. They validate trans identified individuals because they don’t see anything wrong with the way they act towards us.

Not only do they have nothing to lose (unless they’re women…but many women support misogynistic causes), but they have so much to gain. Gender ideology positions bisexuality as the one moral sexuality. So many bi people are so excited to get to wax poetic about how superior they are to everyone else for “not seeing gender” or for “not caring about genitals”, or how they care about “hearts not parts”. Unlike those horrible gays who only care about genitals and don’t even care about personality.

It also gives them an opportunity to punch down at homosexuals. Again, they’re viewed as the one moral sexuality, so now they get to take on an Educator role and lecture homosexuals about how horrible and transphobic we are, and how we should open our minds, hearts, and beds to the opposite sex. And they are so smug about this.

As far as the whole “but bi people are also told they’re transphobic if they don’t date trans people” argument goes…I’m sorry but it isn’t the same. When bi people are told this, they aren’t facing demands to change their natural sexuality. In their case, not wanting to date trans identified people really is a preference. One that should absolutely be respected, of course, but still a preference. In the case of homosexuals, it’s our biology. Lesbians cannot be attracted to males no matter how they identify, and gay men cannot be attracted to females no matter how they identify. When we’re told that not wanting to date the opposite sex is transphobic and that we should change, we’re facing homophobic conversion rhetoric.

Big of you all to make a wide call for biphobia and to spread the same kind of uninformed hatred and bigotry that has harmed us consistently throughout time, and then restrain the comments on that message. There are few things uglier than misguided self-satisfaction upon throwing people under the bus just because it feels nice to use whomever you don't understand as scapegoat, since your empathy cannot extend beyond your own libido.

You are not miraculously spared from being an intolerant imbecile just because you are gay. Persecution does not absolve the smugness of your wallowing in the prejudice you actively contribute to layer. You are not right because you feel like you should be. Bisexuality is not a preference, it is a sexual orientation. No one chooses who they desire and love. And there are many bisexual people out there with a deeper attraction to the same sex.

It's not because one is theoretically compatible with a partner that they should be forced into any kind of relationship meant to 'affirm' the other person's warped idea of self-worth. That works for everyone and everything. As a matter of fact, the awful discourse from activists who will demand other people to narrate them into existence is wrong in and of itself, not relatively depending on whether you happen to be personally involved. Gender ideology as it stands today is harmful for women of any persuasion. Gender stereotypes erected into so-called identities harm boys and girls alike.

You all pretend to stand separate from those militants you loathe when in reality you're two sides from the same terrible, postmodern coin. You can't analyse for shit, and you defend nobody: you content yourselves with redirecting bigotry, hoping it'll distract the bigots away from you. It won't. You're only giving them fodder for their cannons. You project. You miss, but you don't miss yourselves.

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Arf, once again I'm missing the time we created #upthebaguette... those were good times...

Strange times, too. It was right after the massacre at Charlie Hebdo's.

Anonymous asked:

went through some old messages and saw one of yours from like 2015. you literally havent grown a single fucking inch in over 10 years. go outside and talk to people like genuinely

I find it half-fantastic that such a message would come from someone who's been on this wretched platform since at least 2015 but shall still complain about other people sharing it for just as long. Imagine sending hate mail straight from 2007, too.

We read Persepolis, and watched the adaptation, in the 10th grade, and it's stayed with me ever since. I'm eternally in awe of Marjane Satrapi's bravery and resilience, and may she rest in peace.

She is so missed. She'll never be forgotten, and what she said about growing up, freedom and the female condition shall remain throughout generations. But she is so missed.

imagine if people talked about any other language the way they talk about japanese

french doesn't have swear words, instead of swearing they say "putain" which is an archaic non-formal word used to refer to a prostitute

woah @vaporousvicariousventi i didn't know that that's so interesting :0 french culture is so beautiful and polite, and i really respect how much they all love their mum <3 it's so heartwarming, wish we could be more like them in this country 🙄

Qui va leur dire que « ta mère » n'est que la version courte de « ta mère la pute » ? Pas moi.

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The French government wants to suppress two public holidays and the days they suggested so far are very telling.

Last year when they mentioned it for the first time they were talking about May 8th which is Victory Day in Europe it’s supposed to symbolize the defeat of the Nazis and the victory of freedom and equality*. Wanting to remove it in the context of rising fascism in the Global North is very telling. Last week they talked about removing May 1st. Which is international day for the fight for labor rights and represent the people who fought to limit the work day at 8h. Again in a context where workers rights are going backwards and with a government that wants to make people work more with less rights and without a higher pay, choosing this specific day is very telling.

It’s also very interesting how the country that screams constantly about secularism didn’t think about any of the 6 days (out of 11) that are related to Christianism.

It would be so funny if they tried removing christmas as a holiday and then treated any group who complains as just being lazy.

"What are you screaming about ? It's just one day, you can't work for one more day ? What do you mean the symbolics ? You just want a day off."

And then see other countries news headline "France to remove christmas as holiday in the name of economic growth" and suddenly everybody understands perfectly that it's about more than just not working.

I'd still not like it because leave our holidays alone but at least it'd be fun to watch.

Absolutely no one commemorates May 8th in France bar a handful of politicians who are meant to attend the ceremony organised by a couple officials going along the motions. The real reason why the government dreams of demoting the national day has little to do with the rise of fascism (and at this point in the conversation I'd really like to know what people even call fascism anymore) compared to the fact that there are too many successive days off in the merry month of May and it displeases the neoliberals greatly.

Also, 'the country that screams constantly about secularism', holy fucking Virgin Mary getting pounded in the arse by a whole cohort of archangels, what in heaven are you saying, kid? Every time someone attempts to critique religion in this country, hordes of devout imbeciles throw hissy fits about persecution, and in the case of the Left, the zealots are systematically aided and abetted by hypocrites who dare call themselves antifascists while championing Islamic proselytes. Puh-lease.