#1 salt fan

“chocolate guy” is currently shilling for harry potter so i better not see yall post his shit anymore. anyone who engages with that shit especially for money is scorched earth as far as i’m concerned.

Came right up when I searched it, unfortunately

Tool Tip: Telling everyone that you “always hated [Asshole] the whole time” or you “knew he was bad news” after that person is discovered to be [Asshole] makes the people in your vicinity annoyed. Making fun of [Asshole]’s appearance makes people in your vicinity think you are stupid.

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

✨ THIS DAY ✨ [oc]

Don't forget to congratulate your local vampire! 🦟

NEW AESTHETIC TO EDIT JUST DROPPED

sonic chao hell garden

you won't believe the weather we've been getting [remembers to avoid giving away my location] the sky was turned to darkness and the moon to blood, and the stars fell from the heavens.

Detroit

what if your doppelganger loved being you more than you ever loved being yourself. they're better at being you and everyone loves them and it feels almost selfish to want your life back. i want clone horror but the horror is that the thing trying to replace you is also the person you always wanted to be.

and it is imperative that it ends with killing the better version of yourself with your bare hands btw.

they should invent a way to tell the difference between gender envy and platonic attraction and romantic attraction and sexual attraction

they should invent a way to tell the difference between gender envy and platonic attraction and romantic attraction and sexual attraction

I might be alone on this one but I don't find diseases all that enjoyable

@diseases-for-center-control can you fact check this

Who else will embrace you quite as warmly as a 103 degree fever. Who else will have your nostrils flowing with abundance, your lungs as full as your joyful heart! You will learn to enjoy the diseases, in time.

writing advice:

no long sentences

no short sentences

no adverbs

no adjectives

no nouns

no letters

nothing

just like draw a picture

person who genuinely hates themselves so much they can barely look anyone in the eye: i must remain humble lest my hideous ego spiral out of control

love the library. there's no risk. you can take out a book and go "wow this sucks" and just give it back. and when you do that you're still making the library's Number Go Up so you'll be able to roll the dice on even more books. all for the low low price of free/you already paid for it with your tax money so you might as well use it

oh 😮! you fed me a startleberry !

having evil thoughts about sitting on my balcony and pointing at pedestrians with my laser pointer

Not quite a hazard symbol, but definitely makes me feel like I'm in danger. Spotted at Costco