𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒂🐆

simon riley who discovered a new passion for coffee lately. curious because he always preferred tea, it certainly doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that the bartender is really cute, right ?

it started few weeks ago when he came back from deployment, he was on his way to the gym when he noticed this new coffee shop, that he believes opened when he was away.

simon always had a sweet tooth, he naturally stopped to admire the numerous pastries in front of him, all of them seeming as delicious as the others. he spent a few minutes in front of the display, wondering which one he should get.

that’s when he saw you, as sweet as the pastries, you were wearing the coffee shop’s uniform and chatting with a client.

he entered the shop, standing in the line and repeating his order in his head to not mess it up. when the client before him noticed a giant man waiting behind them, they excused themselves and as they left your eyes landed on him.

"hello sir, what can i get for you ?" simon gulped at the charming sound of your voice.

"coffee."

"iced or hot?"

he sized you up quickly. "hot."

he mentally cursed himself as you went to prepare his order, cringing at his own behavior. he didn’t only messed up what he wanted, he also managed to act like a prick, not even saying please or thank you.

he watched you intently make his coffee, humming to yourself with a lazy smile, simon shamelessely observed.

his heart was beating fast as he left the shop, his eyes landing on the hot cup in his hands. now what was he thinking ordering a hot coffee in summer ? he reluctantly sipped it, wincing at the bitterness. this reminded simon why he didn’t like coffee in the first place.

he definitely didn’t come back the next day.

"how much time until ya find someone new when i'll die ?"

you stopped in your tracks, turning around to look at simon. you studied his face for a few seconds, looking for any signs of humor, you found none.

"simon" you walked closer to the bed, he was laying under the covers. "you just broke your leg, you're not gonna die" you chuckled, trying to warm the atmosphere a little.

he simply looked at you, watching you slip under the covers with him, cheek flat against his chest.

"no" he exclaimed urgently. "get up, ya gonna make it worse" he put his hands on your waist, preparing himself to push you away.

"make me" you jokingly said, hugging him even tighter. you giggled at his silence, you didn’t even have to look up to know that he had given up. his arms now circling around your waist. it was funny to you how lieutnant simon riley was a huge baby when injured, he hated having to be helped for everything.

"'love ya" you heard him say with his hoarse voice, "love you too, simon".

"but i swear if ya find another bastard i'll fuckin’ kill" you cut him off by hitting his stomach slightly, earning a small huff from him. it was surprisingly enough to shut him up.

older!simonriley who is a little bit surprised when you ask him to sleep with you. you tell him how inexperienced you are and that you wish to learn how to properly pleasure someone. he's not sure if he's gonna say yes but, you're probably going to ask someone else anyway, and the mere idea makes him sick. he doesn’t regret it when he sees your big doe eyes looking up at him as you're on your knees, his fat cock standing proudly before you. he snickers at your intimidated expression before grabbing gently your hair and guiding your lips on his lenght, a sigh escaping him as he feels the warmness of your mouth. even as you gag and that tears are threatning to spill, he doesn’t stop, you'll have to learn the hard way anyway.

it was around december, simon was home after a long deployment at the other end of the world.

christmas was your favorite moment of the year, the lieutnant almost begged price to let him go home early to spend it with you.

the happiness lasted few days, until he eventually found out. it was truly a dumb way, he stumbled upon some messages when he was trying to look up something on your phone ; it was the first time simon ever went through your conversations as he never really felt like he needed to. he started to feel sick in his stomach at the sight of you and your colleague's texts, throat dry.

he walked into the living room to sit down on the edge of the couch, your phone still in his left hand. his eyes roaming on the text over and over again.

that’s how you found him when you finished showering, towel wrapped around your wet hair and the feint smell of your body wash that he liked so much.

you immediately knew by the way his eyes landed on you. your stomach dropped.

"listen, si" you said as you made a few step towards him before he cut you off.

"since when ?" he simply asked.

"few weeks ago" you immediately gave in, "it was just once." your eyes became teary.

simon stood up abruptly, a distressed expression on his face. "you slept wit' him." more like an affirmation than a question.

he felt like throwing up when you silently nodded, some tears rolling down your cheeks. he could hear you try to explain yourself in the background, but his mind was elsewhere. everywhere at once.

this was the first time that simon felt so helpless ; being a soldier he had been trained for every situation, allowing him to always bounce on his feet, but right now he wasn’t sure of what to do. he felt like giving up.

"do you love him ?" he asked again as he was slowly dissociating, his vision becoming blurry.

"no !" you exclaimed, a small silence followed and simon waited for you to continue, even in this situation, he was still so empathetic. "i just felt lonely, you were gone for months..."

simon imagined you alone in your king size bed, feeling cold from his absence even under the big covers. all the nights you must have spent worrying.

he would lie if he said that he didn’t already think of this scenario, but he never actually suspected you of anything, truth was it was kind of hard to with the lack of interaction between the two of you.

he blinked rapidly a few time, hoping that he would wake up soon, but he never did.

simon looked at you again, you looked beautiful, your sobs were mentally torturing him. he knew that he should’ve been mad, he truly does, but part of him wasn’t. a part of him just wanted to hug you tight and let it go, he was already thankful for you staying even with his lack of presence. but the image of you with another man was making him violently mad.

a deep and heavy sight escaped him, "go to sleep, we'll talk about it tomorrow" he told you with his gruff voice. and that’s what you did, he didn’t come in the bedroom this night, you don’t even know if he slept. you didn’t either.

nana's note -> hello pookies, this is in fact not read proof so I hope that you will enjoy anyway 🥹 also, this post was kinda a test to see if people also like the cheating trope (and loser!simon) the way I do...

simon was known to be a very serious person overall. at work, he was lieutnant riley, respected and probably feared by many. before meeting you, he used to kind of be annoyed by jolly people, the only one he could bear being johnny he didn't have much choice.

when he met you, he got stunned by your beaming smile. you were at a bar and simon still remembers the way you'd speak to him. you'd talk most of the time, letting him be silent the way he liked. giggling at your own stories and jokes.

since then, he got used to it. he's used to you showing him dumb videos on your phone, not particularly funny to him but your giggles can't help but make him smile. he's used to the way you squirm when he cooks your favorite meal, hugging tightly his middle. he began to love it so much that he began to trade pub nights with johnny to movie nights with you ; you would lay on his chest and laugh your head off, sometimes until crying. he would rather take a bullet than miss that.

you have no idea but before simon came back few weeks ago, he passed out while being deployed after being shot and he could've sworn he heard your delicious laugh ring in his ears. he firmly believes that this is what made him gain his consciousnes back. when he returned, he almost cried on the spot after hearing your voice.

people in your social environment were probably wondering how could you love simon that much, you, such a lively and carefree person, with simon, lieutnant riley ? you would simply brush them off. but in reality, as someone who always got asked to shut it down as a kid, who always felt 'too much', who felt annoying and like a burden.

simon never made you feel like that, he always made sure to make you feel like you were fitting in, he would wait for you to finish laughing before you started speaking again, never judged you for your weird interests, encouraging you to make new friends. that was your why.

part 2 of toxicboyfriend!simon

toxicboyfriend!simon who doesn’t bat an eye when you leave the apartment one evening, fat tears rolling down your cheeks after you confronted him about the 'other woman'.

toxicboyfriend!simon who doesn’t text you or call you, convinced that you will come back quicker than you left.

toxicboyfriend!simon who saw red when he came back from work the next day to see most of your essential belongings gone.

toxicboyfriend!simon who acts like he doesn't care, until he hears his colleagues talk about their lovely week end with their wives, until he comes home to a empty house, devoid of an ounce of warmth.

toxicboyfriend!simon who acts as unbothered by your disappearance but secretly stalks you through the gps he put on your car, he also sleeps in his truck parked in front of the hotel you stay in ; making sure to be aware of your every movments.

boyfriend!simon who after a week of spying finally gives in, knocking on your motel door 'get your ass back in the car' despite his harsh tone he sees you crack a smile, you know you won.

toxicboyfriend!simon who is absolutely in gun play. he'll put the muzzle on your temple as he's rutting his hips harshly against your ass in doggy style. is the gun loaded? you don’t even know.

toxicboyfriend!simon who forbids you to reach out to him first, only him can do that.

toxicboyfriend!simon who will make you think there's another woman to hide the fact that he is absolutely obsessed with you.

toxicboyfriend!simon who loves to tie you up to the bed and use you freely, ignoring your cries of pain. he might even leave you there afterwards, forgetting to untie you.

toxicboyfriend!simon who will make you believe everyone is against you so he can have you all to himself. because he's the only one who will ever care about you.

simon had no idea what got into you.

he didn’t recall doing anything bad lately.

the two of you spent the last month enjoying your time together as he had finally a well deserved vacation, he would pick you up every day after work and somehow always find a new place to make you discover. you were also having a lot of sex, leaving both of you even more in love after your intimate acts.

however he noticed you behaving differently since a few days, your kisses were only small pecks, you started to take your own car to go to work and you even refused to do anything, affirming you were tired.

of course simon would never be bothered by you not wanting to be intimate, but he could notice that you seemed a bit dispirited, your mind always somewhere else.

he was now walking upstairs, looking in the hallway's direction curiously ; he had called your name and you didn’t answer. "love ?" he asked as he swung the door open, his eyes falling on your silhouette.

you were in your pj's, sat on the edge of the bed in front of the mirror, you seemed uncomfortable as you rubbed the side of your neck. "i called ya, didn’t hear ?" he softly asked, still holding the doorknob.

his brows furrowed as he saw you looking at you in the wall-mounted mirror, "wha's wrong ?" he asked again, walking slowly to you, almost scared you'll run away.

you got up suddenly, facing him. "do you notice anything new on me ?"

shit.

the lieutnant mentally cursed himself, his eyes frantically roaming on you, same hair, no new nails, not a tattoo in sight. as he was observing you, he noticed your eyes becoming glossy and panicked even more. what the fuck was he not seeing ?

"did y'buy new socks ?" he said with his heart beating a little faster, funny how a high ranked man like him could become so thoughtless in front of you.

you sighed loudly in frustration. "fuck simon !" you turned back to the mirror and tears began to roll down your rosy cheeks as you looked at your reflection. "can’t you see how fuckin’ fat i got ?"

at this moment simon’s brain just short circuited. he frowned, looking at you in disbelief. now your behavior was all making sense, not wanting him to touch you anymore, to get intimate, refusing date nights at the restaurant.

"fuck’s sake baby did ya go nuts ?"

when he realized that he was standing there as you were sobbing in front of him, he quickly wrapped his buff arms around you, squeezing you tightly. you sobbed against his broad shoulder, hands hiding your face.

"please dove" ghost said, feeling strangely emotional by seeing you cry, "you're my whole world, you're perfect" he kept whispering sweet words, trying to shush you.

you only calmed down after a lot of praises from simon, not really believing him, it pained him to see you that way. these beautiful eyes of yours full of tears, lips shivering. the person who helped him open up about his own insecurities and traumatisms.

he wished you saw yourself as he saw you, as he saw his soon to be wife who was the most beautiful woman to him.