i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

Lobster used to be poor man’s food, now they are high status. The same is now happening with milk and eggs and bread

Latest blog post is about how, despite my active lack of musical ability, I harnessed the power of a 1600s song book to make some crispy old video game sounding tunes.

Here if you want them! More an exercise to fill a need (loopable background music for another project), than anything else but they please me.

This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now

spent too long on this

Um

This is Just to Say

I have eaten

the peaches

that were in

the box

now please

read the bottom

and educate

yourself

jet fuel

doesn’t burn hot

enough

to melt steel beams

The People simply do not know how to zipper merge. we have lost our way.

Most drivers 🤝 My favorite jacket

What will one day destroy each of the 50 US States

Alabama - Absorbed by Wyoming Alaska - Absorbed by Wyoming Arizona - Absorbed by Wyoming Arkansas - Absorbed by Wyoming California - Attempts to contain the spread of Wyoming by rigging itself with nuclear bombs Colorado - Absorbed by Wyoming Connecticut - Absorbed by Wyoming Delaware - Absorbed by Wyoming Florida - Missing, presumed absorbed by Wyoming Georgia - Absorbed by Wyoming Hawaii - Absorbed by Wyoming after the state survived California's suicide attack and continued to grow Idaho - Absorbed by Wyoming Illinois - Sacrifices itself trying to give Kentucky enough time to find the lost sword Indiana - Absorbed by Wyoming Iowa - Absorbed by Wyoming Kansas - Absorbed by Wyoming Kentucky - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone and is not strong enough Louisiana - Absorbed by Wyoming Maine - Absorbed by Wyoming Maryland - Absorbed by Wyoming Massachusetts - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone, and is not strong enough Michigan - Absorbed by Wyoming Minnesota - Absorbed by Wyoming Mississippi - Absorbed by Utah Missouri - Begs Utah not to go down this path, and is cut down Montana - Absorbed by Wyoming Nebraska - Absorbed by Utah Nevada - Tries to offer itself as a servant to Wyoming, telling it that together they could rule the world, but is absorbed New Hampshire - Absorbed by Utah New Jersey - Absorbed by Utah New Mexico - Gives its energy to Utah in the hopes that it will be able to stop Wyoming New York - Absorbed by Wyoming North Carolina - Attempts to wield the Wyoming Slayer alone, and is not strong enough North Dakota - Absorbed by Utah Ohio - Absorbed by Wyoming Oklahoma - Absorbed by Wyoming seconds after it finishes deciphering the runes on the handle of the Wyoming Slayer, managing only to croak out the word, "Too" Oregon - Absorbed by Wyoming Pennsylvania - Absorbed by Wyoming Rhode Island - Absorbed by Utah South Carolina - Sacrifices itself in order to get the Wyoming Slayer to Utah South Dakota - Absorbed by Utah Tennessee - Absorbed by Utah Texas - Absorbed by Utah Utah - Attempts to wield the Wyoming slayer and is burnt by its protective magics Vermont- Absorbed by Wyoming Virginia - Plunges itself into the gullet of the ever growing Wyoming to recover the sword which it ate Washington - Absorbed by Wyoming West Virginia - Absorbed by Wyoming Wisconsin - Cries, "I know what Oklahoma meant!" as it readies itself for its last stand. "Not 'too'! Together! It must be used together!" then reaches its arms into the monster's mouth, and takes hold of the sword with Virginia and with all the other states that have been eaten and lends its strength to all of them for one final attack, even as Wyoming's claws dig into its farmlands Wyoming - Stands startled for a few seconds, before beginning to crumble

Gameboy peripheral PediSedate was designed for dentists and dosed kids with nitrous oxide as they played games.

rare Kidz Bop

reblog this and tell me your favorite album written and performed by a woman?

Hmmm...

Probably Saltbreakers by Laura Veirs.

Oil of Every Pearl's Un-Insides by SOPHIE

Or

The Grass is Blue by Dolly Parton

That version of “will he be waiting for me” on the grass is blue is perfection

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

Itchio Summer Sale

Nearly forgot to throw all my stuff on Itch into a Summer sale! 50% off means you can get just about any of my written stuff for the equivalent of two shiny US quarters each (and the zine collections at $5 for two year’s worth). https://itch.io/s/193945/summer-sale-2026

I don't know. I just don't know

It took me a solid thirty seconds to realize that Phragmites was probably the genus name of the plants in the picture and not, like, an ancient Greek warrior waiting in the marshes to attack.

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:

Pretty normal rush hour sounds, yeah? But this thing sounded something like this:

Fucked up! Didn't even realize it was a car horn at first, I didn't know what the fuck it was! It was weird as hell!

unexpected sounds can really shift your whole perception of a space.

When Emily learns she has to plunge back into the fairy world she gladly left and reopen emotions she’d even more gladly bottled up, her reluctance is met by the one thing she knows is true: she can only rely on herself.

Begins June 21! https://bzedan.com/blog/the-consoling-divide-serialised/

Also for fun I made an animated gif version of this, I'll tuck it beneath a cut:

What's great is I queued the hell out of everything around serialising this book, because I cannot be trusted to properly promote my own work. It starts tomorrow!

Shoutout to the roughly 1000 coffee drinkers who don’t drink coffee.

Duane Michals appears on several episodes of this Yale sponsored art podcast. And they mention that Michals had a series of PDFs he made to send to friends starting in 2020 during the pandemic, where he takes items from his archive, new drawings, etc. And the archive (with the short emails he attached them to) has 87 PDFs linked. They also link to his Vimeo account, with dozens of shorts. One of the PDFs, called Phartography, has an overpainted Cartier-Bresson photo.

One of the PDFs Michals sent out in Sept. 2020 was about his 1983 visit to Manet's descendants, where he got to hang out with this incredible little painting, Bouquet of Violets, 1872

Duane Michals, The Bunch of Violets, 1872, 1983/2020 [greg.org]

This was a funny way to find out Duane Michals was an NFT grifter.