I was born with the dragon soul. you will not put me on hold

No sorry boss, I didn't get a call back number. She just said something about a dragon soul and hung up

I have 100,000 followers on here (i know; tumblr power user jmg) and i think it gives me, like, zero social capital? Which I think might be why it's still good.

Like, when my agents are pitching me for something, they'll be like, "Look at his facebook! Look at his tiktok!" They're never gonna say, "100,000 people follow him on tumblr. Remember tumblr?"

But the thing is, I don't actually use facebook or tiktok (except for promo). This is the only place I use, the only place where I'm interested in the community and shared creation and all that shit.

So long live tumblr. Nobody who's gonna hire me to do anything has ever heard of it. It makes for a terrible space to promote your forthcoming book tour. And that's literally why it doesn't suck.

Gay person: i’m gay

Me: ok

106 worms: 🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱 🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱

dont leave me out

I’m so sorry

Soccer players are the horses of men’s sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie

There are four Beatles. There are also four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Coincidence? Yes.

these 4 are the beatles! famous singers!

— Kazuo Ishiguro, My Twentieth Century Evening and Other Small Breakthroughs

Turning dog gravity off so they all get whisked away

if you know, you know (Quifrey doesn't know)

pov you’re a snowy plover that was just born and are already late for something

girl you would flourish under my dark tutelage

i'm not normally one to make jokes about dialect or accent. but the way that British people pronounce "lieutenant" feels like an in-joke i'm not privy to

Aww, you're feeling lieut out?