Ideas for editing your story--to make it MORE INTENSE

(giving myself away here)

As someone who's been under intense back surgery, here's how to write for it!!!

this is just my experience btw! It's not guaranteed to be the same for everyone!!!

For your whumpees with back problems, specifically scoliosis <3

TW, suicidal thoughts/surgery

What it feels like going under after being injected:

Waking up/first few days:

I know it seems weird (well more weird for me) recovery IN hospital takes around 3-10 days but it will feel like months for whumpee

Emotional state

At home

Tips for Writing Concussions

Reblog for more!

Writing Reference: Trauma Aging the Appearance

For my fellow angsty and whumpy writers who are writing characters that have been through a lot.

Does trauma actually speed up one's aging?

Yes, and no. Studies show mixed evidence, that requires more looking into as it's more complex than initially thought.

We mostly know that some people do seem to age faster during trauma like violence or some abuse, but not as much so for poverty or neglect. Genetic factors might play a role. People who seemed to age faster would have puberty earlier than others and even show signs of accelerated aging at a cellular level.

We're still doing ongoing research about what this means and what decides this.

The general theory behavioral scientists and biologists are leaning on is that aging faster during in dangerous traumatic times serves an evolutionary advantage.

As for adults, significant results show that depression can be a damper of lifespan, especially for elders, but there's a lot outside of trauma that influences this.

Graying Hair

Stress, not even just trauma, but stress alone can gray your hair. Genetics can play a role of course, but you've ever seen a single mom you know that they have to buy lots of hair dye.

Many hormones and chemicals activate when stressed, and double so when entering a form of shock, adrenaline rush, or total despair. One of those chemicals is norepinephrine.

Norepinephrine actually affects your melanocyte stem cells, the exact cells that stand at the base of each string of hair, and if these melanocytes die off they can't be replaced and the hair happens to lose pigment.

People typically start to gray around their forehead, sides of their faces, and central scalp. It takes a long time for someone's whole head of hair to completely gray, and usually someone will rock half-grayed hair for a long while before aging catches up if their gray is caused from stress. Facial hair can also gray.

Wrinkles and Tear Troughs

Dark eye circles, stress wrinkles, deep tear troughs, heavy eye bags... We've all heard it. Do these actually happen though?

Yes, absolutely. I can even vouch anecdotal evidence, as a severe abuse survivor myself, if you pull up old pictures of me I look like I was just pulled out of someone's back shed that had a magical portal to a world war.

Stress Wrinkles

Stress causes tenseness, and that includes in the face. This tenseness for long periods of time can cause wrinkles, especially in individuals past their late twenties. Some common stress wrinkles we see is between the eye brows known as frown lines, forehead lines, bunny lines that are between the nose and cheeks often near the nostril area, and smile lines that around the mouth.

Tear Troughs

Those lines you typically see right at the top of the nose and underneath the eyes are actually deep tear trough lines, I have these myself.

They can sometimes give the appearance of sunken eyes, dark circles, and heavier eye bags due to lighting on your face. Deep ones are referred to in the cosmetic industry as tear trough deformities. They can be caused by genetics of course, but also heavy sleep deprivation, dehydration, stress, and significant weight loss.

Many would describe their appearance as making a person always look extremely tired. They can also have a sort of darker hue to them as they leave the skin thin against your sockets. They can help eye bags form as well.

Eye Bags & Dark Circles

When you're always tired or experiencing a lack of sleep the muscles around the eyes can become strained, leading to puffiness and color tinting. Fatigue, depression, and lack of sleep messed with your blood flow. We can the see the results of so in places with thin skin such as the eye area.

Inflammation, dehydration, malnourishment, and weight loss cause these areas to discolor as well.

Sunken Eyes

One day I found an old picture of my brother and I. We looked mostly like normal kids besides our eerily sunken eyes.

Sunken eyes look different from eyebags and dark circles, and you typically know when you see them because they leave you feeling chilled or spooked. Something just looks so very very wrong in them. They are dramatic, really really dramatic, and can even be frightening depending on their severity.

Dehydration is a major player in causing sunken eyes, as well as damage to the facial structure from physical trauma. Sleep deprivation can cause it. Pair this with all the other above stress agers, and one can walk out into the world with a sunken appearance.

Sunken eyes can appear very dark, red, purple, or black even, and leave deep grooves underneath the eye. They can cause the eyelids to appear droopy, and the eyes intense and bulging. The eyes are literally deeper into the socket and they truly are best described as sunken.

Sunken eyes can also cause eye dryness, give the face a sense of asymmetry in eye positioning, cause double vision, difficulty focusing, and a sagging look to the skin around the eyes and eyelids.

Thousand Yard Stare & PTSD Eyes

I'm sure you've seen the famous artwork by Thomas Lea going about capturing an American soldier looking to the perspective with these horrific eyes.

PTSD eyes and the thousand yard stare are two completely different things.

Thousand Yard Stare

The thousand yard stare is a biological response people can have due to extreme violence and danger such as war. Wikipedia describes the stare as blank and unfocused. It is a reaction to shellshock or CSR which are both really terms for active PTSD while still under extreme duress such as in war combat.

In fact there are plenty other reactions that can happen alongside the thousand yard stare or in its stead, including...

This is shellshock/combat stress reaction, and these things actually aren't limited to those in war. Anyone experiencing any kind of extreme shock in traumatic situation such as sexual assaults, murder, sudden death of a loved one, torture, kidnapping, and more.

These things very much often develop into PTSD, and although a rare reaction to returning extreme stress, those with PTSD can sometimes mimic these reactions during a flashback episode.

PTSD Eyes

Then what is PTSD eyes?

PTSD Eyes is a term coined to describe that sort of unique look in the eyes that those with PTSD can exhibit. This is caused by a lack of pupil reaction to threatening or upsetting imagery compared to the average person, and meanwhile an exaggerated reaction to nonthreatening imagery.

People with PTSD eyes can actually have a harder time focusing on things with their sight. This can also give people with PTSD a general unfocused sort of look.

In a series of pictures showing soldiers before, during, and after war we can see this very often in the after image.

Weight Loss

Malnutrition and starvation is extremely hard on the body, and very dangerous. It will show in every facet on your appearance. Your face can grow sunken and sharp, your arms and chest boney and gangly, and the muscles and bone structure underneath starts to show.

Often times trauma and weight loss can go hand in hand, not even through relation, but just due to circumstance.

Pale Complexion

Pallor, or medical paleness, can be a result of fatigue and stress, giving the skin a paler or grayer appearance.

Other causes can be shock, malnutrition, vitamin deficiencies, anemia, recent blood loss, and even low blood sugar. After some time and care to the body people will eventually brighten back up.

Extra Sources & Farewell

Here's some awesome sources if you want to look into things even more!

As someone who has had an 104 (40 for my celsuis folks) fever: I just thought it would be fun to document some things I experienced but never see in fever prompts (also this is all personal experience so I assume it's 'medically accurate' because it literally happened to me but idk do what you want)

-My energy levels were like being on a roller coaster; I would be half dead for an hour or two, laying under layers of blankets and would then have five minutes of energy pumping through my veins. I stayed home from school that day and I remember feeling awful in the morning, I took a nap, and then was up and normal for a few hours. I showered, I worked on school, I scrolled on here, I listened to music. And then it plummeted real fast: I remember trying to focus on an assignment and then getting a massive headache and feeling light-headed so I laid down and covered myself in blankets and I was half-dead for basically the rest of the day

And I think that should be used more often in whump. Imagine Caretaker checking in on Whumpee: who was dead asleep, cold yet sweating, and melting into the bed; only to see them up and about 30 minutes later getting food or a glass of water like they didn't just look like a person on their death bed: then Caretaker's like 'dude what the, get back to bed you idiot, you're sick' and Whumpees just like '???? I feel fine?' and then 30 minutes later Whumpee is back where they started, stuck in a vicious cycle

-I know we've all seen the 'such high fever that they're deliriously emotional' but sweetheart I don't even think I was that delirious and that was probably one of my most emotional days of my life; I would get mad, then angry, then I would want to cry, and then I would just go back to neutral: I think I remember being on the verge of tears because of my covers not cooperating

-I WAS SO COLD. I WAS FREEZING MY BUTT OFF. I always see fevers that make Whumpee feel hot but that was NOT me, I remember literally shivering even though I had MULTIPLE layers on and I low-key don't know why because I also assumed that it would feel hot while being on the verge of being baked alive in your own body but that's just me

And that's all pookies

(If anyone is a medical professional or smth and has the science behind any of my symptoms, please reblog/comment/message me privately about it because I am genuinely curious)

Sharing a bit of my own fever symptoms, too, if that's okay!

(Fevers between 100,4°F and 104,9°F)

Usually, my fevers make me feel very, very cold, but I don't let myself get a lot of covers because the cold is a consequence of how hot my body temperature is. So if I use a lot of covers, I will only get my body even warmer, which will worsen the fever. I usually use cold towels on the forehead or neck. (At least, I've been taught those things all my life, don't take my words as professional advice, I'm just sharing my own experience)

I personally never had a boost of energy. Fever always leaves me extremely tired, without appetite, with a headache (especially the temples and behind the eyes), shivering, weak, and usually nauseated. I usually depend on someone else to help me do most daily stuff, even a little.

My emotional state truly goes a bit wild during fevers. I feel the need to cry easily, but I don't think anger is a feeling I usually have during fevers (perhaps because I don't feel it often even when I'm healthy). I get clingy, perhaps because of a natural human instinct to need someone else during a vulnerable state. Besides that, I get very bored (because I don't have the energy or strength to do much) and frustrated with how uncomfortable the symptoms are.

(This is the 104,9°F fever). As far as I can remember, I've only ever had an actual delirious episode once during a fever (if it happened more times, I was too sick or too young to remember them).

- It started at night, when I was asleep. My fever went higher, and my nausea got worse, so I woke up and tried to make myself more comfortable, but my coordination was terrible, the room seemed all wrong (too wide, then too small), the lights seemed dimmer than I remembered, and I couldn't think well.

- I remember that night seemed to last days, because I checked my phone, and everytime, it had absurd numbers that went higher than 24 hours, or that made no sense comparing to the last number I checked (like going back a few hours or show that it was day, when it wasn't).

- I also remember being so out of it that I talked to myself, thinking someone was with me (I didn't see anyone) for some reason, and I didn't even think of calling for someone in the house.

- Other memories were lost on me because of how sick I was, but I remember being so, so distressed and confused that I cried during it, because I knew something was wrong, and the delirium symptoms just kept coming in waves and not letting me sleep. It was one of the most scary feelings I've ever had in my life, because it felt like being trapped in a weird time loop of nausea, weakness, hallucinations and confusion, without being able to even sit on the bed or call for someone.

- (I'm pretty sure I had a lot of fever dreams because I kept waking up and going back to sleep with how sick and tired I was, but the thing is... I couldn't tell when I was awake and when I was asleep. The delirium made it all seem like one thing, so these symptoms I've described could be real life or fever dreams, but it felt like all real to me, and I remember them clearly as a memory. So you can make a feverish whumpee think something happened, and caretaker being like, "ahm, I was here the whole time, whumpee, that didn't happen")

So yeah, those are the things I remembered about my own fevers. I just thought it would be okay to share them, too. Fevers can be a bit different for each person, especially depending on WHY you're having a fever (an injury infection, a virus infection and what type, heat stroke, medications, etc), so the most experiences you read, the better you can write a feverish whumpee :)

Hope this helps someone!

On a different note~ I've been around snow a lot the last couple of days, so here's some Snow Whump Thoughs <3

I might come back with more once I've slept properly byee~

a friendly reminder that surgery scars, even ones that are healed and years old, are felt anytime you stretch that part of your body.

have scars on your chest or back? you feel them when you reach up to turn the light off before bed. scars on your knees? you feel them anytime you bend your leg too far.

it doesn't hurt, at least not in my case, (it feels somewhat like if you put a finger inside your mouth and pull the skin of your cheek out - a gentle pull, but no pain) but i've never seen this detail written into whump or recovery fics and when i do, it always adds so much more realism into the story.

in some cases (and here, i'm speaking solely in relation to scars on your chest, since that's what i know from experience) the healed scars will be so sensitive to external stimuli that even wearing clothes is tortorous. alternatively, the whumpee could loose all sensation in the area. i was given about a 10% possibility that one of those might happen to me, and thankfully I avoided it but they'd both be interesting to see written into whump fics, especially recovery ones. edit: check rbs and tags for some really interesting additions and discussions.

What if your whumpee is hit by a chain on their lower back? What are the consequences?

[Post inspired by discussions in the Musketeers Garrison server about the possible consequences of Aramis being hit by the metallic chain during the skirmish in Commodities]

Depending on where the chain hits your whumpee, they may get:

Ignoring the injury for a long duration may cause:

How Fights Actually Feel

༒ that awkward shuffle before the first punch, where both fighters are waiting for the other to move first, and it looks like bad dancing.

༒ the first hit hurts both of them... knuckles split, ribs bruise, and nobody looks cool.

༒ someone tries to say a badass line mid-swing and it comes out as a grunt. intimidation ruined.

༒ the sting of sweat in your eyes when you least need it.

༒ missing a punch so badly you almost knock yourself off balance.

༒ that sharp gasp when someone actually connects with your nose. instant tears. instant rage.

༒ ugly sounds: wheezing, choking, gagging, a squeaky “oof.” it’s never cinematic.

༒ realizing halfway through that you’re more tired than you thought. your arms feel like bricks but the fight isn’t over.

༒ hair-pulling. shirt-grabbing. someone’s jacket becomes a chokehold tool.

༒ the raw panic when you hit harder than you meant to and wonder if you went too far.

༒ improvised weapons: a broken bottle, a rock, a chair, hell, even a shoe. survival invents fast.

༒ someone slips on gravel or their own blood. comedy in the middle of chaos.

༒ headbutts hurt both people.

༒ that terrifying half-second of silence when someone doesn’t get back up right away.

༒ biting. spitting. scratching. fights are dirtier than anyone admits.

༒ the crowd (if there is one) gasping louder than the fighters themselves.

༒ your lungs burn, your hands shake, and you realize adrenaline tastes like metal in your mouth.

༒ punches that land on bone make an awful sound, dull, wet, final.

༒ the aftermath: shaking so hard you can’t light a cigarette, tie your shoes, or even text straight.

༒ bruises blooming in real time, like ugly little flowers.

༒ the shame or thrill when it’s over, because winning doesn’t always feel like winning.

words for your fight scenes

Breathe

draw, expire, heave, inhale, puff, suffocate

Catch

intercept, tackle

Climb

arise, ascension, mount, scale, surface

Cut

amputate, ax/axe, bisect, chisel, cleave, crop, cut up, dent, dissect, engrave, etch, fell, hack, lacerate, mangle, molt, mutilate, notch, peel, scar, scratch, shave, shred, slash, slit, trim, whittle

Dispose

boot, chuck, disposal, dispose of, do away with, elimination, kick out, rejection, scrap, throw away, void

Drop

alight, crash, decline, descent, dive, droop, duck, fall, flop, fumble, go under, keel over, light, percolate, plumb, plunge, sag, settle, sink, slump, stoop, submerge, suspend, thud/thump, tumble, wilt

Hide

ambush, bury, camouflage, conceal, cover, cover-up, cringe, disguise, dissimulate, embed, ensconce, envelop, isolation, lurk, masquerade, palliate, screen, seclusion, sequester, shrink, shut off/shut out, sneak, withhold

Hit

applaud, bang, baste, batter, beat, blindside, boot, buffet, bunt, chip, clash, clip, clout, collide, concussion, crash, cuff, deflect, drive, flail, glance, hammer, jab, jostle, knock, lick, nail, peck, plaudits, pound, punch, rap, scourge, slap, smack, sock, strike, swipe, tap, thud/thump, tip, whack, whip

Hold forcefully

apprehend, cage, clasp, clinch, confinement, constriction, cramp, detain, embrace, enslave, fetters, grasp, gripe, hold, incarcerate, overpower, press, shackle, snatch, strangle, throttle, wrestle

NOTE

Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary Notes: Fight Scenes (pt. 1) (pt. 2) Word Lists: Fight ⚜ Pain

WHY YOUR FIGHT SCENES ARE BORING

Fight scenes are a dime a dozen. Most fiction has it. But good fights are as rare as gold—and just as beautiful too. A good fight scene outshines a million terrible ones.

But what separates the good ones from the bad? Is it… the weapons? The physical descriptions? How the characters react?

The answer's not as clear-cut as you'd hope.

Today I'll be breaking down why your fight scenes suck (and how you can fix them). If this post ends up helping you, give me a reblog so I can help more writers! Share the love.

Tips for Writing a Character with a Broken Rib

• Breathing hurts. Even small breaths can cause sharp pain. Your character may take shallow breaths or pause mid-sentence to inhale slowly.

• Coughing or sneezing is brutal. A cough can feel like being stabbed in the chest. Characters may desperately try to suppress coughs or brace themselves first.

• Movement triggers pain. Twisting, bending, reaching overhead, or getting up from lying down can cause sudden spikes of pain.

• They may guard the injury. Characters often hold their arm across their ribs, press a hand to the injured side, or keep their torso very still.

• Lying down and sitting up are difficult. Rolling over in bed or pushing themselves upright can be one of the most painful moments.

• Pain spikes with laughter or talking too much. A character might cut themselves off mid-laugh or wince while speaking.

• Bruising and swelling are common. The skin over the ribs may be dark purple, blue, or yellow as it heals.

• Pain when touched. Even light pressure on the ribcage can cause sharp pain.

• Sleep is uncomfortable. They often have to sleep on their back or the uninjured side, and even then they may wake frequently.

• Healing takes time. Broken ribs usually take 4–6 weeks to heal, sometimes longer.

• There’s usually no cast. Most rib fractures heal on their own. Treatment is often rest, pain medication, and avoiding strenuous movement.

• Breathing exercises matter. Doctors often tell patients to take occasional deep breaths despite the pain to prevent lung complications.

• Fatigue happens. Pain and shallow breathing can make the character feel tired and irritable.

• They move carefully. Characters may turn their whole body instead of twisting their torso.

• High-impact activity is risky. Running, fighting, or lifting heavy objects can worsen the injury or delay healing.

Small details that make it feel realistic

• Pressing a pillow to their ribs before coughing • Taking slow, controlled breaths • Flinching when a car hits a bump in the road • Waking up because they rolled onto the injured side • Getting frustrated because simple things hurt

presyncope sensations

got a character you wanna make pass out (or very narrowly avoid it)? good! here's some thoughts:

let your whumpees have lasting cognitive damage!

I feel like most of whump post-rescue focuses on the physical scars and specifically psychological trauma (which are very important to explore as well!), but cognitive damage is an underutilized topic.

Depending on the whump (beatings, isolation, oxygen deprivation, electric shocks, even magic) there can be a lot of different consequences to the brain and its functions. I'll list some examples.

Brain fog and slower processing speed.

Thinking is becoming so much more difficult and energy consuming. Before the whump, character had lightning fast reflexes, could spot patterns and connections in seconds and could adapt to any situation. Now every task takes twice as long and they feel utterly exhausted at the end of it. Maybe some more complicated tasks have simply become impossible.

Losing the ability to read and/or write.

They used to spend hours reading, writing, journaling. Now the letters have just become incoherent shapes, constantly blurring and losing meaning. One day someone asks character to write down their name and with tears in their eyes they have to discover that they're simply not able to.

Memory loss, both retrograde and anterograde.

Before the whump, character's memory was a source of pride for them. No matter if it was faces, random facts or important dates. Now all of that is lost. Familiar faces wiped and all wisdom of important topics lost (retrograde amnesia). At the same time, character is slowly realizing that retaining new information after their rescue is also not as effective as it used to be. They met someone new just yesterday, how is it possible that they can't remember their name or anything of their conversation (anterograde amnesia)?

Previous abilities disappearing.

Different brain areas are important for different talents. Maybe character was a math genius before, had exceptional balance and body control or could compose music like no other. But during the whump, that specific part of their brain got damaged and now they are unable to do what gave their life meaning and what made them so unique.

All of those usually go along with heavy self-doubt and an identity crisis. Character will probably get frustrated at failing something that used to take no effort at all. Maybe they will lose their sense of identity as abilities that used to define them are stripped away.

But most people in real life also become more resilient and adapt to their new circumstances (often simply out of necessity). They will find creative ways to deal with the challenges in their lives and build a new sense of self.