Define asshole.
A person who is way better than everyone else and frustrated by their inability to realize it.
What, specifically, makes you a bigger asshole than everyone else?
I once openly mocked someone for months. Then they got murdered. Then I openly mocked them some more.
Tell a story about a time you were an asshole to someone. Go into detail.
In 8th grade, everyone in my home room class made fun of me. Everyone except one girl. She asked if I'd be her friend. I ignored her completely and went off to read more Star Trek books. She was so upset she ate everything.
Write what your response to someone who said "Kind of like YOUR MOM!!!" after you said "this sucks."
Aha! I believe it is
your mom that that is kind of like!!
Write down your ten favorite all purpose insults.
Whore
Slut
Bunt
Looser
Nerd
Botch of nature
Asswad
Wad-ass
LameSuck McSucksuck-suckyou
Pirate
Someone is trying to convince you that Star Wars is better than Star Trek. Write down the argument that you use here.
While Star Wars is evocative of early adventure cinema in a charming way, and has mythological roots ranging from the Lord of the Rings to the Epic of Gilgamesh, its over-the-top meladrama can be tiresome, and the new movies take away the charming charactirization and mythological references in favor of mindless CGI and Hayden Christenson. While Star Trek is not much better, The Next Generation was at worst watchable (something you can't say of Attack of the Clones) and at best emmy-worthy. The characterizations were great, and even when the plots descended into low grade sci-fi, the character's problem-solving skills were always believeable and even inspiration. Also, you are a wad-assed pirate.
Pick someone and insult them using three words or less.
Fuck off, fuckface.
Pick someone else and insult them using a paragraph or more.
I pick: teachers of the law and Pharisees.
My insult:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers!
You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?
Why do you want to be in this community?
Because I hate everyone and I want to be amongst others who hate everyone, so I can hate them for hating everyone, and vice versa.
Anything else that you feel is relevant to how much of an asshole you are?
I once punched an old lady in the face just to hear the sound her dog would make as I ate it in front of her eyes. Yeah, it didn't make sense, but it was still assholy.
Finally, post a picture of yourself.
http://goatse.cx
