Best Intentions
My X-Girlfriend, in a turn that I should and did know was coming but was still surprising when I saw it, didn't really have too much of a problem dealing with the attack once she knew to confront it. It wasn't that she was particularly powerful or capable, she really isn't, the thing that made her able to get through it was how she was connected with God. I had known this, and this was one of the things that allowed me to date her without worrying that it would lead to her being too badly hurt, but it was still good to see it with my own eyes. I had put up something to help soften the blow to protect her and yet, while this helped, it soon became clear that it was unneeded. There was also a ~30% reduction in the power of the thing, though it was not enough to negate the effect or explain what happened next (I do wonder if Girl A had anything to do with it, as I had mentioned it to her and she had spoken about doing something) I resolved to keep track to make sure that things didn't get worse as my defense went through its planned fading. Even after it was completely gone on thursday, she remained fine. I wonder if I even needed to give her the help or if she would have been fine without it.
Meanwhile I had other things on my plate. Due to confusion about what to do about Girl A, I had some trouble focusing as well as difficulty knowing how to act around her. She had said that the reason why she had left me was that I had said something bad about her on facebook, so I tried to find it to know what it was that I said. But after coming up without success at that task, I started to think about something else; why hadn't she just spoken to me about it and let me explain or let me change, and what was there to keep her from abandoning me again? Then there was everything else that was going on that she seemed to conveniently forget about; the incident with reporting her mother, the "talk" that she and her boyfriend had had where "they had talked, and she had agreed, that this was the best thing to do", not to mention the subsequent abandonment of her sisters. She noticed that I was troubled, but I wasn't able to really focus on or get that part out. I ended up seeing her later on tuesday out of a weird coincidence and had a friendly conversation that made me hurt to think about the fact that I could very well be building a friendship for no other purpose than for it to die. Then wendnesday came around and everything fell apart. My car insurance had just run out and added a charge, but then my phone refused to turn on, my rent suddenly came due early, I missed a work oppertunity, I failed with the stress a couple times, and at least one other thing fell apart that I can't think of now.
On thursday afternoon after my defense on my X-girlfriend had fallen I checked her to ensure that she really was ok without my assistance. On thursday night she decided to ask God to have the things that were attacking me attack her instead in order to give me a break. I understand her motives in wanting to help, but I had already told her about the power of some of the things that attack me contstantly that were simply too much for her. The only things that transfered to her were some of the legwork annoyance demons, the higher and more powerful things stayed where they were (by the grace of God). Even so within one day they managed to throw her into a depression, anger, nearly fail her in one class, and mess up her sleep schedule. I didn't find out till after she had gone through a day of it, and helped to both defend her and get the things off of her. I thank God that he protected her from anything worse, especially some of the bigger things. I also hope that she now realizes that what I face truly is out of her legue and doesn't try to do something like that again.
Fryday was full of trouble, as those things that had fled to her came back in full force. Amazingly the cash register that I had been using at work was not short despite my many issues with payment, I do believe that counts as a miracle. I worked all day, and then couldn't get to sleep because of light and worries about Girl A, before heading to my other job two hours later. After work (which was with me in the wrong area doing thhe wrong thing according to what I had been told) I got an hours sleep before meeting up with "Her" who was in town. We had a good talk and I realized again that things would not have worked out with her. I also realized that I didn't wish the type of faith in God that I had on anyone because of what type of trouble it came with. It was only later that I realized that the trouble of some sort was still there, though less directed, even when I had avoided anything "weird". More to the point, being normal isn't always an option; people must choose instead how they must deal with their weirdness. Do they accept a faith in God like mine, and the trouble that comes with it, or do they take some other option? I repented of that attitude later, but it still seemed significant that I might hold others back, by way of not helping them forward, for fear of something that would happen weather I helped them or not.
Meanwhile I had other things on my plate. Due to confusion about what to do about Girl A, I had some trouble focusing as well as difficulty knowing how to act around her. She had said that the reason why she had left me was that I had said something bad about her on facebook, so I tried to find it to know what it was that I said. But after coming up without success at that task, I started to think about something else; why hadn't she just spoken to me about it and let me explain or let me change, and what was there to keep her from abandoning me again? Then there was everything else that was going on that she seemed to conveniently forget about; the incident with reporting her mother, the "talk" that she and her boyfriend had had where "they had talked, and she had agreed, that this was the best thing to do", not to mention the subsequent abandonment of her sisters. She noticed that I was troubled, but I wasn't able to really focus on or get that part out. I ended up seeing her later on tuesday out of a weird coincidence and had a friendly conversation that made me hurt to think about the fact that I could very well be building a friendship for no other purpose than for it to die. Then wendnesday came around and everything fell apart. My car insurance had just run out and added a charge, but then my phone refused to turn on, my rent suddenly came due early, I missed a work oppertunity, I failed with the stress a couple times, and at least one other thing fell apart that I can't think of now.
On thursday afternoon after my defense on my X-girlfriend had fallen I checked her to ensure that she really was ok without my assistance. On thursday night she decided to ask God to have the things that were attacking me attack her instead in order to give me a break. I understand her motives in wanting to help, but I had already told her about the power of some of the things that attack me contstantly that were simply too much for her. The only things that transfered to her were some of the legwork annoyance demons, the higher and more powerful things stayed where they were (by the grace of God). Even so within one day they managed to throw her into a depression, anger, nearly fail her in one class, and mess up her sleep schedule. I didn't find out till after she had gone through a day of it, and helped to both defend her and get the things off of her. I thank God that he protected her from anything worse, especially some of the bigger things. I also hope that she now realizes that what I face truly is out of her legue and doesn't try to do something like that again.
Fryday was full of trouble, as those things that had fled to her came back in full force. Amazingly the cash register that I had been using at work was not short despite my many issues with payment, I do believe that counts as a miracle. I worked all day, and then couldn't get to sleep because of light and worries about Girl A, before heading to my other job two hours later. After work (which was with me in the wrong area doing thhe wrong thing according to what I had been told) I got an hours sleep before meeting up with "Her" who was in town. We had a good talk and I realized again that things would not have worked out with her. I also realized that I didn't wish the type of faith in God that I had on anyone because of what type of trouble it came with. It was only later that I realized that the trouble of some sort was still there, though less directed, even when I had avoided anything "weird". More to the point, being normal isn't always an option; people must choose instead how they must deal with their weirdness. Do they accept a faith in God like mine, and the trouble that comes with it, or do they take some other option? I repented of that attitude later, but it still seemed significant that I might hold others back, by way of not helping them forward, for fear of something that would happen weather I helped them or not.