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Title: For Another Gives Its Ease
Author: Tamanna/swingandswirl
Pairing/characters: Colby Granger/Ian Edgerton, David Sinclair (cameo)
Words: 9x100
Prompts: #229 hurt, #11 Possibility/Probability, #331 Mute, #165 Victim, #289 Bed, #371 Need, #314 Touch, #369 Print, #323 Red
Rating: R for implied sexual violence
Summary: Ian's good at fixing things. Except he's not sure he can fix a broken Colby.



For Another Gives Its Ease



They pull you off a hunt, and you know right there that it's really bad. The search for one of the country's most dangerous fugitives doesn't get called off on a whim.

Your first thought is that something's happened to Colby, that the devil's own luck your husband has always had has finally run out. You get visions of folded flags and twenty-one gun salutes, and God, they hurt worse than a bullet to the chest.

But no, Don tells you, Colby's alive, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

You should have known it wouldn't be that easy.


*********


"He's in the bedroom," David says when you walk in.

Looking at him- normally buttoned up, perfectly pressed David Sinclair, looking so tired and haggard- brings it home to you in a way that nothing else could, that this is real, that this is happening.

You stop at the door, oddly hesitant, a part of you insisting that this is like the cat in the box, that if you don't go in you can pretend it's all okay, that this never happened.

But you're a sniper, not a mathematician, and so you carefully ease the door open and walk in.


*********


The room is dark, even in the middle of the day, and all you can see of Colby is a lump in the middle of the bed.

You approach slowly. "Soldier?"

There's no response. You perch on the side of the bed. Colby's turned away from you, curled up into a tight little ball. You want to swoop in, gather him up into your arms, kiss his pain away, except you know it doesn't work like that in real life. Some things, once broken, can't be fixed.

All you can do now is try and keep Colby from breaking further.


***********


Later, you get the full story from David.

Turns out there's a serial killer targeting gay men. Guy seeks out men in relationships, men whose partners aren't with them, then drugs, rapes, and murders them. And the bastard tortures them first. Five days, on average.

Colby was in his clutches for four days before they found him. He got lucky, David says, the cavalry arrived before the bastard could slice Colby's throat open.

Lucky. Colby got lucky.

You think of the quiet, broken shell in the next room, and you know that luck left the building a long time ago.


*************


You still sleep in the same bed, but it might as well be different rooms.

Colby sleeps -when he sleeps- curled into himself, facing away from you, completely different from the clingy octopus you remember. Even when you shake him awake from nightmares, it only takes a scant few seconds for his eyes to shutter, for him to slip back behind those walls he's built, away from you.

It hurts, more than you have words for. But you made vows and you intend to keep them, even if it means coming home to a cold bed and a shattered husband.


***************


The trial is excruciating. You hate every moment of it, hate seeing your husband, the strongest man you know, almost break down as he describes the four days he was raped and tortured by Jason Ensler.

Your hands itch for your rifle, for payback. The only reason you haven't done anything is that Colby would never forgive you. Even now, he believes in justice far more than you ever did.

Looking at your husband as he struggles to keep his composure, you know that while justice might be what Colby wants, it doesn't come close to being what you need.



***************



It's almost anti-climactic, the way the trial ends. Jason Ensler is given the death penalty for the rape and murder of four men, and the rape and attempted murder of Colby Granger.

When the verdict is announced, Colby takes your hand and squeezes. It's the first time he's willingly touched you since this whole mess began. You want to pull him close, but instead you settle for bringing your joined hands up and brushing your lips against his knuckles.

It's not even a fraction of what you want, but the pleased gratitude in Colby's eyes makes it worth it.


**********


The next morning, you see Colby staring at the paper.

'Westboro Rapist to be executed' it says.

Colby looks at you, his eyes large, wild.

"Cole?" you say, scared of breaking him anew.

"I was raped. Ensler raped me," he says, voice hushed, hesitant, as if saying it out loud will bring Ensler bursting through the door.

You nod. "He did. But you survived. Your testimony put him in jail."

"He raped me," Colby repeats, and you can see the walls he built begin to crumble, the cracks widening before your eyes.

You just hope Colby doesn't break with them.


**********


You catch him just as his knees give way, giving in to every impulse of the past couple months, holding him close as he finally breaks down. You rub his back and whisper soothing nonsense into his ear, comfort and support.

It feels like hours before the tears- his and yours- dry up. Colby's eyes are red but there's a peace in them you thought you'd never see again.

He leans in and you hold your breath, knowing it's his move.

He kisses you. It's barely a kiss, just the merest brush of lip on lip.

But it's a beginning.



**********







Leave a comment on this post at Dreamwidth here.

Comments on Dreamwidth are preferred, but feel free to comment wherever you like. This entry has comment count unavailable comments on DW.

Date: 2012-11-22 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riverotter1951.livejournal.com
Thank you for posting this. Ian is a strong man for staying and dealing with the aftermath instead of walking away. At least, the healing has begun even though it may take years for Colby to fully recover. As the mother of a veteran [Coast Guard] who was in the second Gulf War, I can tell you that she is still recovering and it's been several years. She only started talking about her experiences a few years ago.

Date: 2012-11-22 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Lilacs_Roses here

/huggs /comfort /support /understanding to you and yours, River. While I really love hurt/comfort and just... 'whumping' my heroes and heroines (right spelling?), I have absolutely NO DESIRE WHATSOEVER to see it in real life and war is/can be a theatre that showcases the worst of what humans are capable of.

Date: 2012-11-22 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Lilacs_Roses here

Wonderfully, wonderfully done, hun. I'm very glad you posted this because it really is a good piece of writing. Everything you pointed out in your 'notes and confessions' is really very true. I love your Ian!

Great to hear and see something from you :)
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-11-30 01:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damerel.livejournal.com
Okay, so I've been sitting in front of this comment box for about five minutes now, struggling to articulate my reaction to this. I still can't really, other than to say it's so beautiful, so powerful, and also *thank you* for the hope at the end. It all feels so very, very true to both their characters, and it hurts enormously, but there is hope. A beginning, indeed.

In case it's not clear, I absolutely love this, and am in awe of what you achieved with the drabble formula.

Date: 2012-12-01 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damerel.livejournal.com
You enabler, you! *g* Just how am I supposed to resist Colby and Ian??

I would love to join in, but I'm not sure I'm well enough at the moment. I see I've still got a few days left to make a decision so I'll see how I go for those days. Even if I don't join in as an author, I'll cheer everyone else on!

Date: 2012-12-03 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damerel.livejournal.com
Er, what halo?

And thanks for the encouragement (and also the reminder re extensions and an understanding mod *g*). I'm feeling better today than I have for a while, so fingers crossed it might yet be possible...

Date: 2012-12-27 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilacs-roses.livejournal.com
Didn't know you weren't feeling well hun. /huggs /comfort /support /understanding. Sending as much warm fuzzies and positive energy your way as possible!! Hope you had a wonderful holiday (if you celebrate) and... just wonderful rest of month if not (even if).

Date: 2012-12-28 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilacs-roses.livejournal.com
Didn't know you weren't feeling well hun. /huggs /comfort /support /understanding. Sending as much warm fuzzies and positive energy your way as possible!! Hope you had a wonderful holiday (if you celebrate) and... just wonderful rest of month if not (even if).

Date: 2013-01-04 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damerel.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you so much. *sends warm fuzzies and positive energy in your direction too* It's just the same old boring chronic fatigue thing, I'm afraid, which is also why I'm so hideously late in reading and responding to your comment. I seem to be getting into a better patch now, though, thankfully. I hope all's well with you, and that you had a wonderful holiday if you celebrate. Also, Happy New Year!

Date: 2012-12-10 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] draoichtanghra.livejournal.com
So Damerel said pretty much what I want to say - it's powerful, it hurts and it's just right.

magic

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