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That's hard to say, really. Emotions, and the ability to feel them- even the negative ones- are the toolbox I use to access life. Yes, I dislike heartache and anxiety and jealousy, but sometimes they are like a pain that needs to be felt in order to adjust something- an attitude, an outlook, a direction. When I get to a point where I cannot feel anything, I know I am in real serious trouble. And I've been in that place. Often, it is paved with anxiety attacks, warning signs that I need to go and reboot my endocrine system, rebalance my hormones, supplement my vitamins, get more light- do something.
So, I would not choose to get rid of any of my emotions. If I could attenuate one, perhaps regret might be the first. Oddly enough, that one is the most painful. Because of the way my mind and body are wired, there are many 'normal' things that most people do or have done that I have never done, and probably never will do. Peers are reaching the age where they talk about their youthful indescretions, and I have none. And while I don't regret that, knowing how high-strung I was as a youth, I wish sometimes I could have accessed my current level of competence and adaptation to this sometimes overwhelming world earlier on. I suppose that would just create a different set of regrets.
No regrets. I know my emotional palette, and it informs my life and my work- especially my writing. I need all the tone and nuance to make it real.
That's hard to say, really. Emotions, and the ability to feel them- even the negative ones- are the toolbox I use to access life. Yes, I dislike heartache and anxiety and jealousy, but sometimes they are like a pain that needs to be felt in order to adjust something- an attitude, an outlook, a direction. When I get to a point where I cannot feel anything, I know I am in real serious trouble. And I've been in that place. Often, it is paved with anxiety attacks, warning signs that I need to go and reboot my endocrine system, rebalance my hormones, supplement my vitamins, get more light- do something.
So, I would not choose to get rid of any of my emotions. If I could attenuate one, perhaps regret might be the first. Oddly enough, that one is the most painful. Because of the way my mind and body are wired, there are many 'normal' things that most people do or have done that I have never done, and probably never will do. Peers are reaching the age where they talk about their youthful indescretions, and I have none. And while I don't regret that, knowing how high-strung I was as a youth, I wish sometimes I could have accessed my current level of competence and adaptation to this sometimes overwhelming world earlier on. I suppose that would just create a different set of regrets.
No regrets. I know my emotional palette, and it informs my life and my work- especially my writing. I need all the tone and nuance to make it real.
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