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oh those are my tags! im kinda getting beaten up by something rn but hes one of my ghost boyfriends, oceans of time is my tag for our relationship. it comes from the bram stoker's dracula quote "i have crossed oceans of time to find you". hes 103 years older. sorry for any confusion

ohh okay

I’m just going to point out that Bram Stoker didn’t write that line in Dracula. I know the movie by Francis Ford Coppola is called Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but it wasn’t a line that was in the book itself.

This fact is obviously the most important thing to point out in this entire post and there’s absolutely nothing else that warrants talking about btw.

OK im running defense for the person with the ghost boyfriend theyre saying its a line from the movie and it is. i think a ghostfucker would know a thing or two about differentiating draculas

“he’s a woman to me”
“ummm isn’t that kind of misogynistic? are you equating womanhood with submission—”

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
sorry i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me putting a fictional man in a slutty apron and calling him mommy. sorry. i was too busy hand-feeding him strawberries and then writing 12k of emotional devastation and domestic porn. sorry i gendered him like a little fucked up doll in a victorian nursery.

YES. HE’S A WOMAN TO ME. HE’S A HOUSEWIFE. HE’S A HIGH-FEM BRAT. HE’S A PRETTY LITTLE THING WHO GETS RAWED IN THE MOONLIGHT AND MAKES SOFT WHIMPERS AND BAKES BREAD TO COPE. AND I DO NOT CARE IF IT MAKES SENSE.

HE IS MADE OF TROPES. HE IS MADE OF VIBES. HE IS MADE OF GLITTER AND TEARS AND POST-WAR PTSD.
HE IS WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.
HE IS NOT A MAN. HE IS NOT A WOMAN. HE IS A TRAGEDY IN LACE.

you’re talking about “misogyny” like i didn’t just write a fic where he gets folded in half by a feral beast of a love interest and then cries because he’s “too used to not being touched gently.” BABE. THERE IS NO DIGNITY HERE. ONLY CATHARSIS.

your academic thinkpiece cannot survive the heat of my horny little monkey brain. you want to talk about gender roles?? I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A COLLAR. I WANT TO GIVE HIM A GENDERCRISIS VIA DICK. I WANT TO MAKE HIM THE MAID AND THE MUSE AND THE MADONNA.

and also? sometimes i call him a manwhore for getting railed twice in one chapter and still being emotionally unavailable. because HE DESERVES IT. because I SAID SO. because it’s FUNNY and UNHINGED and that’s the POINT.

you are not fixing the world. i am not breaking it. we are both feral rats arguing over a Barbie doll in a trench coat. take your discourse and go. i’ve got work to do. i’m about to make him lactate out of spite.

this is already an absolutely tone-deaf and borderline transmisogynistic response but i think it gets even more jawdropping when your blog makes it really obvious youre talking about alexander hamilton