Joy, hope, and glamour.

I don't know what it is about summer and beer, but I have found that the combination has been truly fabulous over the past few weeks.

Now that we're officially in the dog days of summer, I find my consciousness of the fact that it is summer to be emblazoned in the forefront of my mind. I'm almost having too much fun for comfort's sake. And yes, fuck this heat (it has been 111 in the Dub C for the past two days), but all I keep remembering is how fucking miserable I was when it was cold...and how dry and dehydrated my skin was, and how many layers of clothing I had to adorn myself with. My ghastly pallor has pinkened (<--- I think I'll have to talk to Webster's about that one), but it is quite a small sacrifice for the rush I've been getting from basking in the sun. Really. There's a reason why people become addicted to tanning. I fucking hate tans/tanning, but mmmmm...it feels so good to soak up sun. Try it sometime. As you're laying out in the sun, just as you think you're going to die of heat-stroke, you'll feel what I speak of. It's delightful.

That being said, I realized that I am a complete and utter hedonist. More so in the past month than I was in the past, and I love it. I deserve it, and I need it. I'm going to have to cut back on many aspects of my social life once school starts.

Speaking of school, I'm finally excited now. In fact, the only reason why I'm finally excited at this point (so close) is because I think the reality of it all has finally set in three months after having been accepted. I only have 12 English courses to take in order to satisfy my major requirements, which leaves me with quite a few classes to take that are entirely up to my discretion. So I've decided to go ahead with a minor in art history. About a month ago I was leaning towards minoring in journalism for practicality's sake, but a minor in journalism from Cal does not exist, so this won't be happening. So I'm oping for a useless minor for fun and potentially engaging, intoxicated discussions for whatever parties I may attend in the future.

Yep.

This past week has treated me well as far as social activities go.

I painted a door siren red and walls inkblot and eggplant. I had no idea how exhilarating painting felt. I'm sure I wasn't just getting high off of the paint fumes. I felt as if I were filling in the spaces of a masterpiece, slapping the brush dripping with red paint across the door as if it were my own blood. I was painting Brandon's room-- I felt so satisfied to leave the remnants of a momentary burst of passion to dry.

A masquerade at Harvey's in the Castro, afternoon trysts with new characters, evening excursions with old ones, the Saturday evening showing of "Pandora's Box" at the Silent Film Festival at the Castro Theatre, a party at the unknown mansion of an unknown girl in Moraga, and a Sunday afternoon spent on a hill in the Mountain View graveyard overlooking the city.

I have become perfectly obsessed with recording and documenting everything from the scent of the trees at night in the stillness of heat to the silver flashes of moonlight that pour onto my passenger seat. These things I want to show and tell, but they are resigned to the vaults of memory.

My camera broke on a grave.



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I wish I wasn't so averse to staying at home. I used to be the complete opposite. Now I really need to, yet I find it to be so stifling.

You can't dance when you're sick in bed.

You also can't go to work, nor can you go to your college orientation day that you paid a non-refundable $90 for. So now I have to pay $90 once more to go to the orientation day next Thursday (the very last one they have available). According to other Cal students I've spoken to, the orientation for new students is primarily bollocks. However, I'm going to subject myself to it because, contrary to how others may feel, I don't like feeling clueless in new environments.

FUCK SICKNESS.

Ugh.

I think Aga gave me the bird flu when she got back from China last week. I am as sick as motherfucking fuck. So unfortunately, I couldn't partake in any real 4th of July festivities last night. I did, however, watch the "Cops" marathon on FX for a good portion of the day, which totally illuminated my pride for this country and my faith in humanity in general.

God...back to bed.

One of the best things about living in the Bay Area is that, when I find the summer heat to be too unbearable, I always have the option of escaping to a much colder climate. Pretty much anything past the Caldecott tunnel is colder than where I am located, but I felt as though I was actually able to temporarily go back to winter on Monday. As Mark Twain so aptly put it, "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."


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"The past is never dead. It’s not even past."
-William Faulkner

I usually work on Sunday evenings, but I requested it off this week. So..I have the entire weekend off.

Watch out, world.

That's including law enforcement.

Hi!

Y'all should go to this tonight. It'll be hot.

It sure took me long enough to post pictures. They're pretty shitty, too, but they give you an idea of what it looks like.



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Who wants a kitten? My friend has an abandoned kitty who she can't keep. He and his brothers and sisters were found abandoned about two weeks ago. :( He's eight weeks old and is as sweet as can possibly be. He's a little on the shy side right now, but you would be too if you were left in a box in a parking lot! Please email/call me if you can give him a loving home! If you feed him and cuddle him, he'll be really cute for you.

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I used to be able to sit still. I also used to be able to enjoy having alone time. I have come to this point in my life where if I'm not busy (rare, but it happens), I need to be consistently entertained in one way or another; I have to ride the rush of a thrill.

I suppose one can avoid certain things only for so long.