Saved Drafts

"hi i am going to share with you a part of my childhood. i grew up having to go to Jamaica to America because i had two families(long story). my mom got cancer when i was nine and i cried every day just the fact that she couldn't even laugh without it hurting was too much for me already. she was hardly home and it went from the hospital to home back and forth constantly. one day my grandma came home with the heart breaking news that my mom had passed away. at first i thought it was a not so funny joke but i soon realized that it was not a joke

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-writemylife_16</div>

I miss you so much it physically aches. Hurts so bad it feels like I cant breathe. I fill mydays with so much activity I barely have time to breathe but the nights are so incredibly painful and lonely and they sem to go on forever. I just want so bad to pretend none of this happened and have u come home to me.to be in your arms and celebrate our anniversay but you don`t even care if we spend it together. All you care about is every conversation going your way. You were a jerk, a complete and utter asshole and you gave up on us.You were mercilous and calous and tossed me aside and gave us like n chance of being together. I begged you to talk to me and you were too busy avoiding reality,all responsibility and frankly being a grown up and dealing with reality. You were willing to lose me and our marriage because you were too busy being childish to work to save it. And now you want to work it out if theres any way we canÉAnd you barely even care about that like its no big deal that you get this unbelievably huge chance after you threw it away....And the messed up part is I stilll love you I still want you and unlike you I can`t be such a fucking child that I put my anger ahead of our marriage.Should I even consider taking you back somedayÉI dunno but i hate mysle ffor even thinking it because if there`s anything i know its that you don`t s
deserve it.

 I love you so bad but I can't tell you because you are already with someone.

That knowledge doesn't stop me wanting you with everything I am. I want you so much it hurts. The worst is at night when I'm all alone in the darkness and I know that somewhere out there your with him.

I'm trying to be happy that you are happy. I'm trying so damn hard but it's too much for me to take sometimes.

It's all I can do just to hold my self together when we are working together but I know that if I were to quit and go somewhere else then I would miss you so bad that I would fall apart.

If I wasn't near you I would lose all my will to do anything. If I have to hurt just to feel something, anything then that's how it has to be.

That being said I hope you know that if you ever need something I will do it. If you ever break up with your boyfriend I will be there right away to wipe away the tears. I wouldn't be jumping to catch you on the rebound but I would want to be there for you.

My sister told me that I deserve to love someone who loves me back but the only one I want is you.

I won't do anything stupid or immature like trying to break you up but I just wanted to say this even if you will never read this.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

 Dear Wolfram,

You happen to be the fictional character who reintroduced me to the joys of heady fangirling. How could I not love you?! And consequently, how could I not weep when I witness you being metaphorically mutilated in innumerable fanfics? Yes Wolfram, you may or may not have fanfiction in Shin Makoku, but here on Earth, it's a global phenomenon. Ask your fiance Yuuri about it anytime. Just don't subject him to reading the kind of fanfics I'm about to rant about.

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For the sake of the courtroom, I shall maintain a fine dialect and courteous facade. To give in to the stereotypes and snapshot judgments would only hinder my case, thus aiding yours. I am much more than what you play me up to be.

I realize that I'm slow. I have a life.
I realize that I'd asked you to help. But with only ONE band member.
I realize that I'm months behind. Art, school, con, volunteering, friends in person.

He only posts a few times a month.
He's my favorite band member.
I look desperately forward to translating his few and far between entries.

So, please. STOP STEALING THEM. I don't care if you get on a roll. It's my community, it's my project, and I'd asked for your help. NOT FOR YOU TO SLOWLY START TAKING OVER.

I forgave you for taking the vocalist's entries when they coincided with the bassist's. I had absolutely no problem with that and invited you to do it again, provided you gave me a heads up.

I have a problem with this.

Me.

WE GET IT. YOU HATE THIS COUNTRY.
You hate it because the handful of Pilgrims slaughtered every Native on the continent in the 1600s and created Thanksgiving.
You hate it because Obama banned your cloves.
You hate it because, while women now have the right to vote, they have no one good to vote for.
You hate it because it finds the moon boring and doesn't waste billions more trying to go there to reconfirm that it's boring.
And according to your latest entry, you hate being American and living in America because we have more shopping malls than anyone else (I think that having MORE USABLE REAL ESTATE than most developed countries has a lot to do with that, but that's just me) and do not have 8 of the tallest buildings in the world. Really. What is that entry all about? Stop buying black market cigarettes, save up that money, and move your family to Dubai. I'm sure you'll be happy there.

OH WAIT. You also hate capitalism.

So, move to China. They have a lot of tall buildings there, too. Please. I can't stand constant whining and complaining, and you do it a lot. I think your moving to China will stop this.

Not loving the incessant negativity.

-Moi

PS: You'd be reading this but I get to see you this weekend. @_@

I know more people than I'd like to admit, that feel that all of mankind is evil. Or they at least like to tout that that's how they feel.

Not that most people are hypocritical, or sinful, or selfish. Not that the majority of people we come across are just self-serving idiots.

But that ALL people, including their loved ones (unless somehow their loved ones aren't humans, too...), are evil, violent, worthless.

Consider that if all people are evil, then, technically, none are, because they're all the same. If we're all the same, there is no concept of good vs. evil. We just are.

Now, most of these people don't believe in a higher power. In other words, there are no eternal consequences for our actions. Just those imposed by the evil mankind.

So, my question to these people: If you truly believe that there isn't a soul on this planet that isn't worth the air he or she is breathing, much less anything else, as your word choice of "we" and "all" suggests, what's stopping you from going on a killing-spree? Why don't you start with those closest to you, since they're right there, and just like the rest of us? We all know you're smart enough to get away with it for a while.

And if what I'm saying is hitting too close to home, maybe consider dropping the hyperbolic soap-box bullshit?

Put another way: Your statement is illogical.

Evilly yours,

Me.

Hi, by the way.

Dear ungreatful little tart that lives next door,

Please stop:
- talking like you're an illiterate preteen, and injecting likes into your sentances like an addict.
-talking back to your mother; you still drive her mercedes afterall
-drawing that hideously thick black line of eyeliner over your entire eyelid; you don't look anymore like Avril Lavigne when you do so
-pretending to be a 'punk' and wear Lilly Pulitzer
-spewing out band names you learned on Rock Band and pretend you know a thing about them
-popping your gum, you look like a cow
-hitting on every one of my guy friends; they will assume you're a dimebag whore
-assuming because I'm Bi i'll hitone you. I don't hit on plastic
-wearing equestrian clothes and pretend you know shit about horses; there is no such class as 'Timed Jumpers' at a USEF rated show DUMBASS...
-bleaching your hair; its Blonde, no need to go blonder
-being more shallow than your empty solo cup; no one thinks your slurred speech or vomiting is 'cute'
-acting fake with me; i'm well aware of what you told your boyfriend about me; I slept with him after he broke up with you because he was sick of your melodrama
-treating me like white trash; just because I don't wear my wealth on my wrist, neck, or fingers doesn't automatically mean I don't have it

Bitch.


Yours Truly,
Horus

I'd hold a grudge if it didn't hurt me.  But it does, so I can't.