Relationship Q&A

Um... I need some advice.

I'm getting married in a week, and a few days ago I got a call from a man I know saying that he has been sleeping with my girlfriend for a year.   I won't bore you with the details (that's all in my own Live Journal) but I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years, and I love her very much, but I have no idea how to handle this becuase I think he's telling the truth.

I know I have to talk to her, but I don't know how to.  I just have no idea were to begin, and I only have a week to decide what to do.

Right now, any advice at all would be very much appriciated.

Thank you.

 

I love my bf but I want to punch him. I went on a road trip with him and his family and they kept making christian/mormon jokes and crap and going on about how dumb they are. My bf in perticular didnt refrain from joining in and making some hurtful ones himself. The problem: I'm a christian/ex mormon and he knows it! He's made jokes and remarks in the past  more than once and I told him I don't like it each time. This weekend he  even started saying he didnt mean to offend me and he actually doesnt understand how it would offend me. WTF??? I think he must be retarted if he really doesnt get it! So of course hating confrontation I sat in the car 4 against 1and barely complained, just seething with anger inside and thinking of what I wanted to say. I didnt want to make a scene or start a fight in front of his family while being trapped in a car for hours having no escape. I sure as hell didnt want to bring negative attention to myself. But I feel like such a wimp about it. I should have said something and I need to say something to my bf. He NEEDS to understand. I'm afraid I cant make him and i know i cant change him. I cant put up with if but I dont want to dump him over it. I dont know how to tell him assertively without being attacking him but still making myself loud and clear. I'm just so pissed I want to chew his head off. And his family can kiss my ass too. Theyre  all so stupid ignorant and closed minded.

So its been about 6 weeks without any meds. The herbals seem to be enough.  Maybe I don't even really need them. I hav'nt crashed yet. We'll see. I know 2 people who's boyfriends just broke up with them. I love mine so much.. I really hope it doesn"t happen to me too. I can't help but get freaked out by stuff like that. 
Theres stuff I just can't seem to get out of my head though. Like especially this girl my boyfriend was friends with. Don't think they talk that much anymore but she lives with his sis now. He has mentioned her a few times here and there even though I told him I was never really friends with her. When I met him  I even though they were dating. He just said they were good friends. When we were talking bout our hist. He said he had had sex with a good friend in the past. Well I just keep wondering if it was her or whoelse it could have been, did they have soething going on? But she just had a kid so why should I be worried right? Its awkward cuz I had almost gotten with her right b4 I met him. It didn;t work out. We just made out at  a party. So I admit I feel jelous. Jelous cuz he might like her, cuz she might have gone for him but not me, cuz I've had other guy friends who have liked her, and cuz shes gotten with guys I had a crush on before. I think if  I didn't think she was hot  it wouldn't bother me as much. i wish it didn't> Maybe I just always need someone to focus on. I'm always jelous of someone and insecure over something. Seriously. I bet as soon I get ove rthis I'll be obsessing over something new.  I'll just replace it. I hate it. I wan't to ask him if they were together if he mentions her again. I'm not so sure I want to know though. It would take this wondering away but do I really want to know the answer? Oh, I don;t know what to do about this.

Hello, I just joined this community in an attempt to vent and well, maybe get some advice. I've been in a relationship for about 9mo. now and my boyfriend is terrific-my type to a T(not perfect) but -nearly everything I've always wanted/liked in a guy. But its not enough. I'm still miserable inside. I have always had problems w/ jealousy and with him it's made worse because he's really good looking. I know other girls notice. My friends have all told me he's soo cute, I notice girls checking him out alot and I  can't help but "think he could have any of these girls"- what if he realizes it and dumps me for someone better.
I feel so insecure and paranoid. I just don't feel good enough. I don't know how to just TRUST someone. If I do they might hurt me and I'll feel like a fool. Nearly every girl I've known has been cheated on or betrayed. I've not been cheated on but know betrayal. So everything sets my radar off, more like it's always on. I'm afraid it's putting a strain on our relationship.  I'm starting to fear the relationshiip might end not because he actually does anything but because my issues will pull him away.   
So... this weekend we went to a restaurant and He says He thinks the waitresss looks like the same one who was there last time a few weeks ago. She was cute and last time we were there I just got this paranoid feeling like "is he checking her out?" He's always friendly and polite and usually talks to/smiles at most people so I don't know. I tried to ignore myself thinking that he probably wasn't and even if he did notice her what can I do? He's human and probably not blind to everyone but me. If I can notice that someone else is attractive why can't he? But the feeling infuriates me and makes me feel hopeless. The fear is always that he might like them more and then act on it. So when he said that this time I felt like I was validated in my suspicions. If he wasn't checking her out then why would he recognize/notice/care and MENTION her after weeks. Like why would I care if its the same waitress or not? If were on a date shouldn't I be the one he notices? He soon apologized, said he realized it was a stupid thing to say after he said it but that it didn't mean anything.   We've talked about trust before-how its hard for me. He asked if I still dont trust him I told him again not when he mentions other girls. He says it hurts that I don't trust him. I don't want to hurt him but what can I do? 
The next day somehow Gene Simmons comes up and of course his tounge. I made fun of it. He said "well he must have made alot of girls happy" I"m say thats gross I wouldn't want it near me. He says "not all girls r like that".  I think  to myself ya, so , who cares what other girls like, do you? Then he says he wouldn't know. But I can't help but wonder what hes really thinking. 
This is becoming a typical weekend.  I didn't used to feel like this as much. When singlre I'm not bothered that much. It's being w/ someone that starts it all up and it seems the longer were together the more jealous etc. I get. I could go on for hrs. but I'll spare u.
So please...am I just crazy? How can I make it stop?  

Hi everyone. I'm looking for some insight/advice about a problem I've been having with my long distance relationship.  Background info: My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years and live about 4 hours away from each other, so we see one another about every two weeks or so. Anyways, my problem is that I've been having dreams  (quite often) for about the last six months or so in which I cheat on my bf. In most of the dreams, I have sex with my ex, who was my first love. In all of the dreams I think about my bf before I cheat, debating whether or not I should cheat on him; I ALWAYS choose sex over the relationship. Last night the dream consisted of sex w/ a younger guy, not my ex, but still the whole "Debate on whether or not to cheat on my bf" conundrum was still there. The dreams are occuring often enough that they are beginning to disturb me and make me doubt my relationship. Any ideas on what I should do? Thank you!

x-posted

okay people.. i need some advice.. ive had two little problems with my boyfriend(joe), ive NEVER had a roblem.. we use to be super duper close.. and as like friends.. and now we are going out. we;ve been together for 7 months and we are totally best friends too! okay.. soo.. a while ago.. like maybe 2 or 3 months ago.. i was at my friends house and he was there.. and hismom called to ask who all was there.. and he said everyones name but mine.. and iwas like wtf.. why not me.. now he is 16 and i am 19.. so its like an age difference and his parents know me.. because his parents and mine go to church together.. and his are like the pastor of the churh.. okay.. so that happened and i was like oh wwell i will let it slide.. maybe hes not alowed to be with me right now.. so THEN just recently we were hanging out.. and he was gonna tell his parents that his guy friend was coming over.. bu really i was.. so i had to come over after his parents went out and leave before they came back... now he said that it was his friend brad... now brad just got expelled rom school and went to jail for the night and has a permaent curfew set by law... and joes parents KNOW about brads trouble hes been in.. now joe said that brad was coming over.. so cover up ME coming over.... i was jsut wondering what the hell is going on.. cuz hes alowed to have his criminal friend over.. but not his girlfriend? and ive tried talking to him about it.. but i cant seem to bring it up... how do i bring it up.. or why do u think he is doing this?? i need ur help!! thanks in advance! <3 mary

Hey guys,

Sorry if this isn't allowed, I just thought this was a cool article. It's all about love :-)

It's from http://www.crimethinc.com/library/…

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Hey everyone!

I'll bet the large majority of you don't remember me because I haven't been online to this LJ in forever. I have been rather tied up with schoolwork for the past semester and a half. RPI is a force not to be reckoned with. Anyway, since I'm on Spring Break (almost over) I'll be more online... or at least try to be.

Since I'm here, here is my question:
If you all can date back, I have been dating a guy name James. He and I are STILL going out and are going VERY strong. Our 1st year anniversary is coming up in 2 months and I'm very excited because this is the longest and most loving relationship I have ever been in...

Problem: I don't know what to buy him for the anniversary.

I know it is early still but I'm just so excited because it's a first for me! So, gals and guys, I need some ideas. Anything will work. If you want a description of what he is like, here it is:

23.5 year old
Marine
Computer Systems Engineering
Sits on his MAC half the time
Likes to drink Vodka
Forest Green

I'm so dry of ideas even though I know what he likes. But I want something that is unique. Any ideas are welcomed! Thanks everyone!



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My name is Lexis. Im 14 years old and im scared of everything. [Im also Extremely bad at creating conversation.] I've also liked this guy since sixth grade and now that we're in the same school and I see him more I know that I actually like him. alot, I even think I may love him. [and I really dont like that word.] and about four weeks ago, I found out that he likes me. [now, at this point, he doesn't know I like him] then last week, I found out he has a girlfriend.[I keep hitting myself for not telling him sooner.]
I really cant stop thinking about this boy, it hurts so much it makes me cry.
__and I really want to ask him to the freshman frolic.

I dont know what I need help with.
But Im positive I need it.
♥

is it just my boyfriend? jon has a problem with opening up..or at least w/ me. we talked about it and i told him that he could talk with me about anything. b/c i noticed something was bothering him. but he was like "i just feel i cant talk w/ you because your very goofy and i dont see your serious side anymore" and i told him its not true..i am very mature at times and you can talk with me about anything. so he said "okay..i know" and now things have been crazy b/c we have midterms coming up but he was like "i have way too much to think about" so i was like "what" and he said "nothing.." so i wanna ask whats up w/ him, but im afraid to ask b/c i dont want him to be mad, and plus he's been studying a lot lately so i dont want to take away his studying time. and i always know when somethings wrong with jon, im not one of those girls who dont know their boyfriend. but is it just my bf thats like this or what? thanks