Prodigals

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I cursed silently as my heart pounded almost painfully against my rib cage. The tactic had been solid in theory, at least, if not in practice. After a long morning spent tangled with Faith in any number of permutations of coupling, we'd finally dressed, showered and had a proper meal. Once the sun had set, we were out on the streets, looking for trouble to get into and calling it training.

It had been a few hours with virtually nothing to show for our efforts when we'd finally rousted a small nest of vampires-- young, barely turned, but streetwise and brutal-- and followed them to this dilapidated parking structure. Faith had taken the fast way up, the vampires' way, scaling the cracked concrete exterior of the structure with agile grace. Being a mere mortal, I had volunteered to take the one enclosed stairwell, preventing any of our quarry from escaping that way as I scaled upwards toward Faith's level.

Of course, that translated to myself running up stairs, something that I'd been unprepared for, as evidenced by my short, heaving breaths and seeming state of impending coronary. Sluggish of step, I tried to keep my senses and mind as clear as I could, in case I did indeed meet an enemy.

Reaching the fifth level, I heard a scream of fury from the other side of the heavy door. It was close, and I grasped the metal lever, twisting it hard. The door didn't budge. I pulled again, hard. Still nothing. I peered through the tiny glass window, through the metal reinforcing wire, to see Faith grappling with three of the vampires not a meter from my side of the door.

"Faith!" I shouted, raising my shotgun. Aiming it at the door handle, I hesitated, realising that I could tear myself to shreds with ricochets. I raised the weapon to the window.

"Faith, get away from the door!"

Whether she heard me or not, I cursed again as the back of Faith's head collided with the window, denying me that shot as well. Flipping the shotgun around, I began to bring the metal butt end crashing against the glass and wire. Desperately, I slammed the shotgun against the barrier again and again.

((Open to Faith))

I didn't have any dreams that night, thank fucking God, cuz I was sorta scared they'd be like the ones from the plane. Full of guilt at all the shit I'd done - mainly to Wes - and just generally feeling sorry for myself. And that sure as hell wasn't the Faith I wanted to be.

Wasn't what I wanted Wes to be, either, but whatev. I hoped he wasn't feeling that way about last night.

I got outta bed, all achy and shit, and called up room service since I was fucking hungry by now. Yeah, one H was all taken care of, but I needed the other one taken care of now. We'd managed to sleep and fuck our ways through the night, so no hunting...

Huh. Hunting, the third 'H'. Made a little mental note to myself as the knock on the door came and I walked over, pulling the trays in with a wink. "Thanks, here's a tip." I shoved some cash at the guy before shutting the door, not really caring that I was still naked. Hey, if he got a free show? No big.

Turned on the TV and nothing interesting was on, so I left it on some cartoons as I ate my egs and bacon, taking time every now and then to switch to coffee and cigs. Fuck, my body was all sorts of hurting, but in that good way, y'know?

And it had been so fucking long that I hadn't felt bad afterwards, too. Didn't feel like crying or throwing up, or going over and over my sins in my head.

Nah, I just felt like... eating.

I heard Wes finally moving around in there and shouted over the TV, "Morning, Boss. Got us some yummy food and coffee if ya want some... ok, yeah, I paid for it with your money, but still. Good intentions and all, right?"

The back of my brain whispered some shit to me about Wes really being the boss, and that maybe he wouldn't like it that I'd done all this, but fuck that. All I'd said was training and bedroom. Period.

((Open to Wes))

Kissing Faith is not like kissing any other woman.

Yes, every woman is unique-- a melody unrepeated by another individual, certainly, but as my own, somewhat limited experience told, all of them sounded as if composed by the same hand, for the same instrument. Virginia had been a clear, crisp scherzo tune, quick and sweet, but brief. Fred's single kiss had been stringendo-- beginning simply, but falling into a surprising intensity. Lilah's kisses were infuriatingly rubato, some lingering, some hurried, some sharp, some soft, but every one of them at least half a lie.

But there was only one sound as Faith's mouth attacked mine, as her hands pulled tightly against my body and slid through my hair-- the raging, pounding beat of my own heartbeat, and the rush of the blood surging with the almost instantaneous explosion of heat. It was a music loud and dissonant, and it at these moments, when I could taste the alcohol and the cigarettes and the raw, grasping lust, it was a sound entirely in time with mine.

Faith's legs were suddenly scissored around my waist, so tight I could scarcely breathe between the hungry, intense kisses. I pushed off of the couch and carried her to the bedroom, absolutely no question left in what would happen now.

And wasn't that what she'd wanted? For me to say, and for her to do? Wasn't that what I wanted, too?

I didn't think, couldn't think about that now. All I wanted was Faith.

I all but threw her down onto the bed.

"Take your clothes off," I rasped, my breath heavy and ragged already as I found enough presence of mind to delve into one of our bags and extract a pack of foil squares, which I threw onto the mattress beside the rapidly disrobing Faith. I joined in the rush, nearly losing buttons as I undid my shirt and cast it aside before sliding off jeans and undershorts and socks together.

I stood above Faith for a moment, beside the bed, staring down at her. Dark eyes gone even darker with a desirous heat, Faith's expression begged me, beckoned me to her, even as her hands danced over her intoxicating naked form. Fingers pinched at her nipples and slid across slickened flesh between her legs. Those dark eyes were fixed on mine, but kept dropping to the almost burstingly swollen shaft I held in my own hand.

Taking a deep breath, I fought for control of myself as the cacophanous beating in my ears nearly drowned out Faith's near-pleading words.

Reaching down between her thighs, I replaced her hand with mine, forcing my fingers inside her heat. I knelt beside her head.

"Suck it," I began to say, but ended in a gasp as she did just that.

((Open to Faith))

Woke up the next morning, and saw that he was still asleep, my leg kinda curled on him and an arm around his chest. Weird... I never did that snuggling shit. I slowly pulled myself offa him and turned on my side, blinking my eyes at the time.

I remembered the food we'd ordered last night and never gotten, so I finally got outta bed and wandered over to the door, opening it to see if something was there or not. Sure enough, they must've come knocking once we were both fucking asleep, cuz there was my pizza, ice-cold.

Hey, no big. Pizza for breakfast was cool.

I pulled the tray inside, sat on the floor, and started eating my breakfast, trying to keep quiet for Wes. No dreams last night so that was good, but I hadda wonder about Wes. He seemed the type to have bizarre nightmares or shit about all the 'bad' things he thought he'd done.

Like me.

Well, fine, not like me in the sense that he fucked me up. In the sense that he was like me having nightmares about... fuck it. It was too hard to explain.

After finishing off my pizza, I walked outside and lit up a cig, looking at The City. Weird without all the lights, but the tourists made me feel... dunno. Cramped? Sin City was fine, it was all fake anyways. Seemed a better fit to my personality.

Here? I wasn't sure... about me, about, well much of anything.

Just hoped I got my training in, cuz it would at least take my mind offa the weirdness that was me and Wes.

Taking another quick drag, I ran a hand through my hair watching the sun come up. Would we always be like this? On the fucking run? Honestly, how much good had I been able to do since I left B and Giles and everyone? Seemed I was only fucking up my Watcher's life more than it already was.

Wasn't fair to him... sure as hell wasn't what we'd both signed on for.

Maybe I should just turn myself in, get it all over with and let everyone go back to their regularly scheduled fucking programs.

((Open to Wes))

"See, it doesn't work that way. You and me? We're not built for this shit. We were never meant to go out on dates or shit, you said so yourself. Hurting, fucking, hey... seems like it's all we're both good at. At least for each other."

Faith's words echoed in the back of my head the entire silent way back to the hotel, all the way up to the room. I poured drinks, because... well, because that seemed to be what we did. Faith took hers over to an open, screened window to smoke while I collapsed into a corner of the sofa.

Sipping on the burning whiskey, I glanced over at Faith from time to time, watching her. All I'd wanted-- no, all we'd both wanted, juding by Faith's initial excitement-- was something simple, something a little closer to normal.

But we weren't normal, were we? We were broken, damaged... scarred. Faith and I weren't drawn to each other because of some great romantic compulsion, or even a vague one. It was...

I took a long sip of my drink and let it heat me.

It was because those scars, those marks-- they matched. Unfortunately, that didn't make a damn thing any easier.

Looking over, I saw Faith start into her second cigarette. As it seemed neither one of us was in the mood to do any more talking for the moment, I did something I did very rarely. I reached for the remote control for the room's massive television and clicked the thing on.

Keeping the volume fairly low, I began absently flipping through the channels. Most of television, I'd found, was inane and completely useless dreck. Passing the channel before the image registered, I had to back-track. One of the better comedies I'd seen in quite some time was playing.

I was trying not to laugh. I was really trying, but I was losing the fight.

((Open to Faith))

We showered, and didn't talk much, but that was fine by me. Honestly, I'd wanted to fucking curl into a ball on the bed and sleep, but Wes had pretty much forced me into the shower. Maybe it was a good thing, I dunno. Cleared my head a bit, stopped my tears, and made my ass ache just a little less.

When he asked me if I'd wanted to go out still, I'd just smirked and gotten changed. Nothing fancy, sadly, but I'm not a fancy kinda gal. I pulled my jeans on carefully, wincing as I did, then grabbed one of his button-up shirts and a tie he'd actually brought but hadn't worn yet. Did the whole Avril Lavigne look, which normally I hated, but at least it was better and warmer than just a tank top.

"All set, Boss. Let's go."

Wes had our tickets somehow, and I wasn't hungry just yet. Figured we could eat after the show or something.

We walked to the theatre where it was at, and i kept looking at him. Was he ok? Was everything cool between us now? I couldn't tell. For all I knew, I might've fucked it up even worse - yeah, if that was even possible.

I sighed and finally asked him, "Look, you gonna be quiet-man all evening, or you wanna talk about what happened? If not, hey, cool by me, I'm just wondering."

I stopped walking so he'd hafta stop too.

"Cuz when I said 'thank you'? I fucking meant it, Wes."

((Open to Wes))

New York City was under quite the deluge when we arrived. The rain fell in heavy sheets, blown almost horizontal by the wind whipping down the steel and concrete canyons. At the airport, Faith had closed her eyes and pointed at a large display of hotel advertisements, and somehow, I wasn't surprised at all that her 'random' choice landed on a luxury hotel in the heart of Manhattan, right on Times Square-- the Mariott Marquis.

And so, the yellow cab did battle against the elements as it endeavoured to bring us downtown to the hotel. Thankfully, the Marquis' main entrance was underneath the building, allowing us to step out in relative warmth and dry.

We checked in, and considering Faith's comment on the plane, Mr. and Mrs. Rogers-- a tip of the hat to Father, for no particular reason-- didn't even bother with a room with a second bed. We took a suite perhaps not quite as opulent as the Bellagio's, but more than sufficient for us both.

Whisked up to the 25th floor by the almost-like-flying rush of the glass elevators, I tried to remember the last time I'd had the pleasure of visiting the city. It had been ages, on a trip with Father when I was twelve. I was still in the reverie when we arrived at room 2505. Dropping our things on the floor and tipping the bellman, I kicked off my boots and crossed the plush carpet.

I touched the control that opened the blinds, and even with the rain, the brilliant neon and electric lights of Times Square were a beautiful display.

I turned to Faith. "Good choice."

((Open to Faith))

It was all a big fucking blur.

I walked back to our seats, hands on the other chairs along the way to hold me up, and I sank as carefully as I could but it still hurt. Not a lot... but enough. Thank fucking God we weren't in first class or shit.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying to figure all this out. What the hell was going on? I'd called Wes for one reason - I was a liability to B and her crew. Didn't wanna go back to jail just yet cuz I figured there was still some good out there I could do - so I call Wes. Just figuring bossman could go back to his Watcher-ways and we'd be all five-by-five.

But, that sorta thing's never my luck. Cuz this Wes? The one who started at me coldly one sec and then fucked my ass the next?

Yeah. Not the Watcher I thought I'd be going back to. Then again, I wasn't the Slayer he probably wanted.

We all get what we deserve, right?

I felt the seat sink next to me and I sighed, knowing it was Wes finally. What could I say? Thanks for the nice fuck? Thanks for bruising me and making me cry?

"Well... looks like we wasted a few minutes with that. How much time we got left, Boss?"

((Open to Wes))

It seemed that a tacit agreement slipped into place between Faith and myself to leave behind the exchange of emotional hurts and self-flagellation that we'd engaged in. Not a typical after-sex practice, even for myself, but it seemed that there would never be avoiding the things that existed between me and Faith.

Honestly, I despaired of the two of us ever truly letting our guard down. History on that count did not make one optimistic.

For now, though, things were light, simple and superficial, as far as I was able to tell. Faith's typical smirkingly brash attitude was set firmly in place, and I was responding mostly in kind.

The room service waiter, trundling in the heavy-laden cart, seemed entirely nonplussed by the sight of Faith's loosely-belted robe and the fact that I was wearing only my jeans. Tipped well, he smiled as he left, and by the time I turned around, Faith had already tucked into the pizza she'd ordered.

Crossing to the bar, I brought two bottles of beer back to the table, setting one in front of Faith. I sat down, and took a deep breath, wondering if it might be an opportune moment to say something.

"Faith, I--"

I was interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing. Mumbling an apology, I fished it out of my jacket nearby and flipped it open. Angel. My friend and former employer spoke quickly and brusquely, but considering the news, I couldn't blame him. Thanking Angel for the advanced notice, I closed the phone and turned to Faith.

"We've got one hour to finish eating, get packed and be gone. Angel's contacts with the L.A.P.D. alerted him that they've recently shared your record with the Las Vegas police. They'll be here soon, but we've got enough of a head start."

Moving on instinct, I stepped closer to Faith and closed my hand over hers.

"They won't catch us. I promise."

((Open to Faith.))

The last few moments were still as amazing as it all had been, but I wasn't so lost that I couldn't feel something change. The tears on Faith's cheeks flowed too freely, and there was something she said that I couldn't make out, but there was nothing in the way it sounded that was right.

When I came, and Faith swallowed me down, I drifted into the release of it, let myself fall into the feel of her mouth surrounding me, but only for a moment.

Afterwards, Faith looked back up at me, and through the curtain of dark soft curls, returned to me as lost and sad an expression as I'd ever seen. Certainly not the face I'd expected to see after what we'd just done, the pleasurable memory of which was fading quickly.

"Sorry... I'm sorry... just... fuck..."

Her voice was low and shook with a tone that unbalanced me and all the preconceptions I'd ever had about this young woman. With a sob, she turned away, clutching a pillow to herself, and curling closed as tightly as she could.

For a moment, I watched her shoulders tremble with crying. My heart dropped out of my chest, a cold, horrified space in place of it.

What had I done? I'd shown Faith more of what I was capable of, more of the man inside of myself than anyone had seen since Lilah-- and even she had never forced the kind of honesty out of me that I'd known just a few minutes ago. Faith had seen me... and it was wrong.

There was a darkness in me, I knew that, and I had thought that it would resonate, somehow, with hers, allowing me to finally give her the help I knew she needed. Instead, she was turning from that shadow, and I had to wonder whether that was truly the right thing to do.

What I did feel the need to do, though, was to at least try to help and salvage the damage I'd done. My hand reached out and touched lightly onto Faith's shoulder.

"Faith... I'm-- I'm sorry."

She looked so very vulnerable in that moment, and that was the last straw for me. The Faith I knew was not that, was strong and self-assured, and could weather anything. She didn't deserve for me to break that resolve. Hoping that she wouldn't turn away what little comfort I could offer, I sidled my body up behind hers, curling my arm around her, on top of her own.

"Do you... do you want me to go?"

((Open to Faith.))