all I can say is that my life is pretty plain

So far since it's been 2009 i've just been pretty sick with a few fleeting moments of healthiness here and there. it's really a bummer but at least i get an excuse to lie in bed.

this is one of my first vacations where i haven't wanted to come home. morocco is wonderful. moroccan men are wonderful. i'm coming back very soon.
i'm glad i have things to look forward to when i get home. the lake trip should be lovely, i really want go skinny dipping and to play on the trampoline. seeing as those two things are on the top of my to do list, it should be a good weekend. and i start my work at the day care this monday. which will keep me very busy until then.
and i will be glad to get away from my family. this vacation has been hard core family time. it's exhausting.
still, i'm so sad to be leaving tomorrow.

things are going fine. i mean, they're going. i'm looking forward to school starting again, which is good, i'm glad that i have something to look forward to, and that that something is school.
i'm going to go see Hair this weekend.
i'm pretty much done setting up my room, i just have to hang some things up on the wall. i have a lot of junk. but it's such lovely, lovely, antiquey junk. my mom was trying to get me a table at a flea market so that i could sell my things, but i don't have a big enough collection to start selling things off yet! but hopefully when i'm older, on saturday mornings i'll set up my table and sit in the sun and talk with other collectors all day. tra la la.

i decided to not go to biology class today, and the decision feels wonderful! I haven't missed one yet, so I'm not too worried. Now I can spend the time resting up for my afternoon and evening in New York. My sister works for the public theater so she got tickets to Shakespeare in the park, although it might be rained out today-- and truthfully, I'm hoping it is, because if it is then we can go get rush tickets to another show, and I REALLY want to see Mary Stuart. Or Exit the King.
I'm also going to finish doing a drawing that I'm doing for my dad for father's day. It's of a dissected frog. He'll like it. I'm using india ink, which feels good because I haven't used india ink in a long time, but it's definetly my favorite medium. I haven't done enough art this past year and i can feel myself being a little out of practice.
I can't believe it's still raining and cold.
Now I have to go write Maria Beatrisa because I haven't for awhile and I feel bad.

i can't handle this weather any longer.
all i want to do is sleep.

i don't want to do anything unless i'm going to be exceptional. and i'm not really exceptional at anything. so maybe i'll just do nothing.
i would really like to be a beekeeper. i wonder if it's hard to be an exceptional beekeeper? probably.
biology class makes me feel really, really dumb.
everything feels weird.
i would also really like this car-

it's 2.30 am. I just got back from a show at the Cedar House. I was planning on staying the night there, but around 1 i felt home calling me back. i slipped out quietly and didn't say goodbye to anyone, i hope that if people notice that that's what i did it won't be perceived as bitchy.
lately i've been paralyzed by my own self consciousness. i used to be like that, even more so than right now, but then i got over it, and now it's creeping back. hopefully it will pass again.
my drive home tonight was incredibly beautiful. i guess you have to find the beauty in a highway in this day and age.


i'm just sitting here staring at my screen. my brain is flooded with things i want to say but i can't boil it down into words.



j;oaiejrao;eirhaierja;oiajg;ilaj

oh poo, I can't get the video to show up because I'm terrible at those things, but click on it to see some adorable little animation short short shorts

FINALLY broke up with chris... I feel... okay
I worry that I'll feel worse later when it starts to sink in more.
It didn't go too well, I had hoped we could still be friends, but he got really angry at me and started yelling at me that I'm a whore and said he's completely cutting me out of his life. Which might be for the better anyway.
I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted for my shoulders though.
gah- I can't believe it. I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow morning.

my mom and i randomly decided to go to the philadelphia gay men's chorus show. it was 80's themed. i just got back from it. just the pick up i needed!