floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back

Things left to do:
- Apply for entry clearence
- Go to the British consulate to hand in application
- Open HSBC bank account
- Apply for ISIC card
- Sign up for airport pickup/orientation course

Then packing comes. How do you pack for a year in 2 suitcases and 1 carry on? I need to print out pictures for my walls of the dorm. I need to buy converters and shit. Should I buy an alarm clock when I get there?

I found the GREATEST communities last night. Firstly, Middlesex finally has a community on lj: middlesex_uni. Unfortunately it's brand new and so there's only 4 members and not much is going on it it. But then I also found americansabroad which I recommend to any of you who are going abroad soon or thinking about it. They're so helpful and ANYTHING you wanted to know can be answered in there. Everyone was so helpful with my dumb questions. I'm really grateful for it. I thought this was a positive comment from urufu on the dorms I will be living in...

"You should be in luck because Enfield is one of the better campus grounds to the University. I've not been there myself, but some of the students on my degree are in the halls there and they don't speak badly of the place. You should find several American students there as well. I know there's sometimes Thanksgiving celebrations held in some of the University Halls and other things on American national holidays. :)"

Sounds good!! :)

Enfield Town, where I'll be living, is a borough of London and more mellow. I've been researching it a lot today and it seems nice enough. Pictures of it look like typical ones of London.

( ::grey and wet, just as I like it::Collapse )

I walked to Em's house today to feed the pets, Fuzzy and Spike. Things went ok with Spike, I just murdered some crickets by dumping them in with him. But stupid Fuzzy proved to be a problem. After letting her out she refused to go back in her cage. Luring her into he cage with a carrot proved futile. So after about an hour of waiting around and trying to shove her in her cage only to fail, I devised a plan and caught her. I felt like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the Roadrunner. She kept running around and all my plans would fail and I kept getting fucked over. But I got her in the end.

The walk home in my sandals gave me the worst blisters EVER on my feet. Tomorrow I must wear better shoes, even if it hurts my sprained ankle hich still isn't fully better, I'll have you know. It doesn't hurt so much but it's still swollen and black and blue.

The world is boring now. Tomoko started classes again at FIT today. Brendan left for college in Deleware a few days ago. Corinne went back to Rosemont like a week ago. Em and Dave are camping until Tuesday. Emily is leaving soon I think...when do you go back!? I miss my people already<333

If anyone is interested at all in seeing me before leaving for school or before I leave for England, now is the time to let me know and we can make plans! I am not chasing after everyone and asking myself because I have way too much to do and way too many friends to go after and I am letting people come to me if they are interested.

Drop me a line and let me know you've added me. :)
Peace out kids,
//Jamie

Yay it's my birthday today!
19 at last!

I gots me some cd's, a gift certificate for Pier 1 Imports, a Starbucks credit card, and various things that I need from my apartment. I was telling Lois that it's weird, because when my cousin Ryan got his own apartment, I felt sorry for him as a kid since all his presents became household items and not fun things. But now, finally, I understand that it's an exciting thing getting house shit. It's great! It means you have something you really need and you don't have to go out and waste money for it yourself. So I am pleased.

Going home to NYC today. Seeing a matinee of Big River with Kaitlin and Kelly.

And I just wanted to say...haha Sting?? They should call him..Smelly.

So, Pace University just got these brand new ID cards. They're called "Pace ONE cards." Now the interesting thing about these cards, are that they're actually credit cards. They're blue mastercard credit cards with the Pace logo on them, and they have your name and picture on the top of the card. Mine just came in the mail.

Now I have problems with this. One of which being, do we have to use them? Because I don't want a credit card thingy, even to tap into school accounts. credit cards and me = bad news, no matter where the money is coming from.

The biggest problem I have with these cards, is that the picture of me featured on this new ID is my picture from my ID last year. Now, those that know my pic from last year can tell you I look nothing like that now. In fact, I looked nothing like my picture, 4 months after it was taken. And towards the end of the year, I was having issues with campus security guards who compared my ID picture to me now and refused to let me into the dorms, because they thought I had someone elses ID.

So how the fuck do they expect me to get on campus this year, with this ID card? No one will ever let me on campus. In the picture I look like a boy. I have short black hair, unplucked eyebrows, no piercings, no makeup. Now I have shoulder length brown hair, thin eyebrows, a big ring in my nose, and I wear a lot of makeup. I look like a totally different person. Don't believe me? Let's compare the two different looks:

When the first ID was taken
(No, I don't have a skin disease on my face. The pic was saved kind of distorted)


This is me now


...I'm never getting into that school...

I just started looking at photos online, and the fact that I waited sicker than I've ever been in this, fainted in this, but still made it through this completely alone, makes me pretty damn proud.

This was the line I waited in for 4 1/2 hours to get on the ferry.
Or should I say, part of the line for the ferry. And see the second bus in the first picture? That's the bus they took me on when I passed out :)



A closer look at the line for the ferry...it's now nighttime in this pic.


And this was part of the street I walked through on the way to the ferry. Yea...I puked in the middle of all that.


And I forgot to mention that there was the creepiest, brightest full moon directly over NYC last night once I got to Weehawken. Had I not been bleeding and getting crushed by mobs, I probably would have sat next to the river and pondered the coincidental convenience of this aspect.

I had the worst day of my life yesterday. It surpassed every tragedy, every loss, every hard experience I have ever been through.

No joke.

I wrote that post as the power went out throughout the east coast. I managed to pull myself up to look out the window and see that all the traffic lights were out and the cars on 3rd Ave were swirving to keep from hitting the cars driving down 88th. People were rushing around on the streets, trying to make sense of everything. There was no way I could stay in that aprtment in the state I was in, and npot know when the power was gonna come back on. I had to try and get back to Jersey (I had no idea the power wasn't working there.)

So I take my bag, put on my shoes and fumble out of the pitch black apartment. I hit the street and it's chaos. There is no order, just lines of people in all the stores trying to buy as much water as possible. I had no money for water. I just had to wing it. I slowly start walking and my head is reeling and the sounds of sirens everywhere were making my migraine so bad that tears were squeezing out of my eyes. The subways are all shut down and I soon came to the realization that I would have to walk from E. 88th to W. 42nd in a heat wave, with a migraine and nausea, through absolute chaos. You could hardly walk on the streets, because everyone was sitting outside or scrambling to get home.

I start to puke. I puke all over the sidewalk, somewhere in the 70's. People are dodging me as I hurl. I walk a few feet and then throw up some more, this time into a trash can and some little boy walks by and goes, "ew gross." and points at me. I started to cry. By the time I hit the 60's, ambulances are everywhere, loading tons of people into them, giving people oxygen as they sit on the streets. Cameras were snapping pictures of everything. people were climbing the street signs and lights to get high up and snap photos. People were walking in the streets, I saw cars driving on bits of sidewalk to get around people. People were actually climbing on the hoods and the roof of cars and trucks to get rides through the city. Everywhere people were trying in vain to call people on their cell phones, but nobody could get any service. I made it to Grand Central on E. 42nd and there were MOBS of people outside. No one was allowed inside and people were actually near trampling each other just to get down the sidewalk. I watched people get stepped on.

I made it to Port Authority, and saw that it was closed. Hundreds of people were waiting outside, not allowed to even wait inside, since the entire terminal was closed down. No buses were running. I started throwing up again on 8th Ave., a cop trying to push me out of the way to keep me from spraying people. That's when I got in touch with Kaitlin's mom. Luckily she had been listening to the news and she advised me to walk over to the river and find the ferry's. As of then, the ferry's were the only way to get out of the city. I started feleing really faint. I was dehydrated and could barely stand. All the people and the sirens were hurting my head. A woman told me to go to the hospital, but then a cop said you couldn't get into them right now. I decided to walk to the ferry.

Awhile later I got to the ferry, just in time to get a message from Kaitlin's mom, saying "Don't go to the ferry! They just announced that an estimated 100,000 people are waiting in line right now to get on them." She was right. The line was huge. No one knew what they were doing. They just filed behind the mob and decided to wait and try to get out. The tunnels and bridges were closed, the airports were shut down. You could only take the ferry. So I waited in line. I got there at about 5 or 5:30 and stood in the crowd. You couldn't even breathe, it was so packed. People were shoving and pushing from all sides, arguing about their personal space. We moved about 3 feet every twenty minutes. There were news helicopters hovering over us like crazy, all these news cameras filming the crowds and harassing us. I saw 2 pregnant women who were passing out and had to be helped.

After about 2 hours, I dropped. I couldn't stand anymore and I just collapsed in the crowd. People started yelling for help and 2 cops came into the line and each took my arm and helped me stand again. They led me out of the line to the side were there were a few ferry buses waiting. They weren't turned on so they were even hotter than it was outside. But they sat me inside and took my pulse and kept asking if I was alright. there were other people in there who had fainted earlier. I asked for water and they said they had none. I couldn't believe it. My head was reeling and I couldn't stay conscious, but I HAD to. I HAD to stay in that line and get on a ferry. So I forced myself to stand and a cop took me out of the bus and helped me back into line again.

I waited some more. And finally when we were about 50 feet from the ferry entrance, they made an announcement. The ferry's were out of fuel and they couldn't take anymore people across. People started going nuts and screaming and tons of people left, but I couldn't bring myself to. There had to be a way to get across. So me and thousands of people stayed and eventually they got some fuel and started bringing people across again. I got there at 5:30, but didn't get a ferry across until 9:45 and we all stood the entire time. I cried on the ferry. I was surprised I had enbough water left in me to cry. But I was just so happy to get there. I had no idea that...

The worst was yet to come.

I got to Weehawken, NJ only to see that thousands of people were stranded there. It was pitch black and everyone had flash lights and they kept shinging them into your face. You could hardly see. And there was only 2 ways to leave that ferry parking lot. You either had to take a bus to Hoboken, the Meadowlands, or Ft. Lee...or else drive out. I decided to wait for a bus to Hoboken. If I could get on that,I could stay with my cousin Jeremy at his apartment. But there were hundreds of people waiting for those buses. ANd they were loading the buses one at a time. The crowds turned into feverish mobs. Everyone was angry and violent. People were pushing and fighting each other to get on the buses, and people were actually falling down and getting crushed. I couldn't breathe, I had people pressed up against me on all sides. I was swaying and trying not to dry heave. I could barely even open my eyes.

Fights were breaking out right and left. One woman went into labor while being pushed around int he crowd. This started a panic about the baby and before I knew it, someone's elbow connected with my nose and my nose was gushing blood, everywhere. It was running down my neck and onto my shirt. And I started panicking. I could barely even move to hold my nose and when I tried to push my way out of the bus mob, I got pushed and thrown down onto the ground in a pile of flower bushes. I scratched up my arms trying to stand up. A security guard saw me and he ran and got paramedics. How embarrassing. I was helped again by cops and paramedics to an ambulance nearby. They shined bright lights into my eyes and kept asking if I was okay and if I could hear them. They were fixing up my nose (which turned out that the piercing just tore a little and my nose wasn't broken or anything.) and using alcohol to get the blood off of me. I just kept asking if they had water. All I wanted was water. I could barely talk, I was so thirsty and dehydrated. And they told me the worst thing, "No, we don't have any water here at the moment." I started balling, my nose started bleeding more.

I called my aunt Lois. She told me that Rt. 3 was shut down, and because of that, no one could possibly come and pick me up from the ferry. I would either have to stay the night there next to the river, or else take a bus to the Meadowlands and sleep in the parking lot of Giants Stadium. I was hysterical. I called up Kaitlin's mom and told her about everything. It was comforting just hearing her voice and I appreciate so mcuh her putting up with me. I didn't even care about having to sleep there. I just wanted water and there was none. I considered drinking out of the Hudson River. I was actually going to do it, but Patty talked me out of it.

My cell was dying and there was nothing left to do but try and make it until the morning. I started walking around, looking at all the hundreds of other people who were stranded there and sitting or lying on the ground and in the parking lot. I decided to go and look for an empty piece of asphalt to just pass out on until morning. I just needed sleep so I wouldn't have my migraine and I could forget about drinking water for awhile. And just as I was about to lie down and cry myself to sleep, I heard a man yelling.

He was yelling to the bus mobs that he had a station wagon and was willing to give people rides to Mahwah and Ramsey. Now both those places are still like 20 minutes from home, but at least then someone may have been able to drive there and get me. I ran over to him desperately. I couldn't even talk. I was crying and my mouth was so dry that no sound came out of it. He saw me and grabbed my arm and kept saying, "Are you okay? Hey you don't look so good. Are you going to Ramsey?" I just nodded desperately and he held onto me. But so many people took him up on his offer that he couldn't fit us all in his car. But we decided to walk to his car and see if we could all fit by sitting on top of one another and lying down on top of each other. (That's when you know people are desprate, when total strangers agree to sit on each other's laps.)

But then...the voice of an angel. As we were walking towards the car, I heard a voice say, "...free bus to Glen Rock and Ridgewood, if you can fit.) I whirled around and caught sight of a small shuttle bus, that was going to drive people right back to my town for free! I was scared to leave the people I was with, in case something went wrong and I couldn't get on the bus. But by the time I turned back to look at them, they were lost in the crowd already and I had no other choice. I flew over to the bus and got the last seat left on the little shuttle bus. I cried about half of the way home. When they dropped off some people first, I had to get out of the bus and throw up again. When I got back in, all the other passengers were all nice and kept offering me candy and stuff to help me feel better. But all I wanted was water, and of course, no one had any of that.

The shuttle bus dropped me off right outside my house. I hugged the driver so tight, I thought I was going to kill him. And when I got upstairs into my house I I drank 2 tall glasses of water, and 2 sodas, within a few minutes. I felt like throwing it all back up of course, but at least I had some liquid down my throat for awhile.

Today..
Headache, major dehydration, dizzy spells, vomitting. I've got it all. But I am safe and sitting in air conditoner. I have scratches on my arms, a fucked up nose (though no bruising, it's all on the inside) and I keep shaking really badly. I feel like I have a high fever, but don't, and it doesn't help that I can't keep much food or water down. But I am HOME. And I am ALIVE.

I went through fucking hell and back and all I want to do is rest. I want to sleep for days without any hassle from anyone.

I never want to go back to a day like that in NYC again. Maybe it would have been a little better, had I have felt healthy. It was such a hassle and until you deal with a situation like that in person, you don't realize how scary it can be living on an island in a crisis. You can't get out. And people are scared and will stop at nothing to get out. Most people who lived through September 11th, said that yesterday was even more hectic and chaotic then when the terrorist attacks happened. And the news just reported that 50,000 more people were transported off the island than when Spetember 11th happened.

Until you deal with an emergency situation like that yesterday, you can't even begin to imagine what it's like and how dangerous it is living in the city. I know none of my friends will understand, even after I tell my story. But no one would have wanted to be there. I never want to be there again.

I hate my can opener, it's the biggest load of useless shit since John Malkovich.

I tried to open a can of vegetarian beans tonight, but the can opener failed to do anything useful. It would break open the lid, but then not turn so I had to keep on squeezing it and cutting through little pieces of the lid, until about 25 minutes later, I finally got the lid off. Then I realized that little pieces of metal from the mangled lid were probably all over in that can of beens, because I could see them all over the stove.

I was hungry though and it was an entire can of beans I would be wasting, if I just threw it away. So I cooked the beans and ate them slowly...literally examining each bean one by one before I ate it. It took forever to finish the bowl. And now every time I feel a pain in my insides, I envision little slivers of metal embedded in my throat, my intestines, my liver, my pancreas, my heart....everywhere!! I'll sleep next to the phone tonight in case I need to call 911 hehe

It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm not even tired or anything. Just bored. I watched some Rowan Atkinson movies and laughed hysterically for awhile. Then I watched that one scene from Shadow of the Vampire over and over about 7 or 8 times and laughed even harder. Now my head is pounding from all the laughing.

I think I'm seeing Chris again tomorrow. Yes? No? Yes? If you read this before you leave....call me!!

Oh chriiiiiiiiiiiiist boredom...somebody please come and save me tonight. I need to get out of here!! I'll do anything!

Jessalin and I hung out for awhile today. We rented this creepy movie called May that I thought Art had said recieved good reviews. Well...it wasn't pretty, let me tell you. The movie was so fucked up. It was about this pyschopath girl who never had any friends but some ugly doll as a child. And so when she grew up and her ugly doll broke, she went around killing everyone she knew, cutting off pieces of their bodies and sewing all the limbs together to make a new best friend. It was gory, twisted, and not scary at all. It was just fucked up and parts of it revolted me. There's no need for tasteless gore.

I didn't go back to NYC tonight for various reasons. Which means all my plans have to be pushed back a day. But that's ok, I have plenty of time to fit it all in.

I got a mountain dew slurpee at 711 and now it's gone and given me a migraine accompanied with extreme nausea. Blah I hate that.

I feel lost and without direction these days. I'm hoping that sometime soon I'll find someone to set me right again.

I'm bored so... boring fotos. Someone force me to do something. I want to go to the movies!!!









( a few more..Collapse )

wowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwow!!!

I found most of my Rowan Atkinson collection! In fact, I found boxes and boxes of it downstairs. 11 boxes in all! And I realized that I didn't give away as much of my collection as I thought! In fact, I really not missing much at all. See, I had boxes worth of stuff that said "sell" on them, but I never actually got around to selling any of it! So it's all still here. You should have heard me going through the boxes. Lois said I sounded like Randy on Christmas from A Christmas Story: hhhh wooooow!! Neat!! Wooooow, yay!!!"

I'm so happy that I wasn't stupid enough to sell all my stuff. Somewhere deep down I must have known I would want it all back. I am thrilled. And even more so when I realized I still have all 7 of the Japanese Mr. Bean phonecards that I had sent from some company in Tokyo. And I still have the Mr. Bean bubble bath and sponge, which I was convinced I had sold on ebay. I do however have a memory of taking a German Mr. bean Christmas poster and throwing it in the garbage and that irks me. I don't know why I did it, but that poster wasn't cheap. And now I want it back.

But anyway, aaaah no more panicking. I still have a good chunk of it left luckily. And I am thrilled.

>>
And while I was going through everything, I found all these pictures of me as a little kid and I found that some things never change. I would like to show you just what I mean, right here...

I was born a bitch...
(that's my mommy holding me)


( just a few more behind hereCollapse )