Abstract

This article wrestles with how white domination is reproduced in research methods, questions and priorities in the neoliberal university. Reflecting on the stuck and lonely places in my doctoral project, I consider the challenges of doing research on racism in institutions largely hostile to such inquiries. I also trace the pivotal insights that helped me to get unstuck and less lonely. This involved refusing to allow white audiences and white investments to determine the direction and priorities of anti-racist scholarship. The academy constantly returns us to the authority of these gatekeepers and this needs to be displaced and replaced with forms of accountability that do not consolidate white authority about matters pertaining to racism. The question of how to engage responsibly with the harm of racial violence became a central one as the concerns, priorities and desires of Black and racialised women rerouted questions of audience and accountability in this research project. Instead of being faithful to academic forms and conventions, I follow the insights of Black, Indigenous and women of colour feminisms to argue for a practice of careful and ethical engagement with one another.