La pasticherie de Petra

I said to hannah, apropos of people's names that have taken on new meaning after they were named, "There was at least one person who was really pissed off because his name was Adolph Hitler first and he thought the other guy should change it."


Hannah said, "Charting cemetery records from the 1910s had me needing a moment to realize: 'Back then, it was just a name.'"


I said, "Charting cemetery records from 50 BC and I was like, 'Oh, hey, Attila! I wonder if he's any relation.'"


Then we did a little more digging into the cemetery records and discovered that Attila Sr., father of the famous Hun and latterly known as Attila the One, had a lot of children. They were all born Attila the Son, and earned their epithets later in life.


The immigrant to Sweden: Attila the Aun.


The baker: Attila the Bun.


The brown-haired one: Attila the Brun.


The parentified child: Attila the Done.


The debt collector: Attila the Dun.


The party planner: Attila the Fun.


The NRA member: Attila the Gun.


The one with a kindly disposition: Attila the Hon.


The wuxia hero: Attila-jun.


The Japanese bro: Attila-kun.


The one who roleplays on the internet: Attila the Mun.


The one who got disowned: Attila the None.


The one who is trans and devoutly Catholic: Attila the Nun.


The wordsmith: Attila the Pun.


The comedian on the Discworld: Attila the Pune.


The sprinter: Attila the Run.


The one who became Amish: Attila the Shun.


The astronomer: Attila the Sun.


The fiber artist: Attila the Spun.


The Starfleet officer: Attila the Stun.


The one who's really obese: Attila the Ton.


The Überwaldian immigrant: Attila the Vun.


The one drinks Chinese wine: Attila the Zun.