The Muses of a Wailing Siren

Wow, there is just so much to write about since my last entry, but I'll just touch on a few nice points: Wookiee's Cookies, Star Wars, this weekend, and recently read manga. Honestly, I can't remember everything since my last entry and if I did you'd be bored shitless reading about my life for days. 0.o;

Since I don't really have a way to get home after school (besides mooching from Akane and Shun) I hit the bookstore. If I'm not alone, I'm with Rhea. We sit around drawing and working on our comic and the plot being random, drooling, stalking, seeing statues move, and more. We should post some drawings of Cain and Jayson (our shounen-ai boys) on Deviant Art. There are some concept sketches here and there.

At the bookstore, we found this cook book entitled "The Wookie's Cookies Cookbook". It's this AWESOME Star Wars cook book and it cracks me up! [giggles insanely] We decided to have a Wookie's Cookies cook off as well. Rhea, Shun, and I cooked "Wookie's Cookies" and "Boba Fett-uchine". ROFL It was brilliant and tasted four star. Eff yes. Later that night we went to see Sin City. Shun and Mimas really wanted to see it and Rhea wanted to see it as well, so we went to see it. I enjoyed it alot! It had some Quentin Tarantino directing in a scene or two and a couple of tributes to his movies so I that made me lurve it even more. Clive Owens... mmm, tasty with Rosario Dawson... who had hair and clothes mysteriously close to FFX-2's Paine.... and who would have thought that Bruce Willis and Jessica Alba kissing could have been as hot as it was... Well, they've got nothing on Brian and Justin. ^.~

And this cook book brings be back to my current time absorber. Last month, I decide now was a good time to get back into gear for one of my oldest fandoms: "Star Wars". Before I was a manga nerd, I was a Star Wars nerd. Probably from birth. x_X; Thank Norr and his sci-fi obsession. =_=; But I really do miss the fandom. With the May 19 premiere coming up, it seemed like a good idea. So I decided to rent Episode 4-6 and I ended up watching it all through maybe.... 3 times? T_T; That was a busy two weeks. LOL. After that I went and bought books. Lots of them. I was reading post RotJ (Return of the Jedi) stuff, then YJK (Young Jedi Knights), and now I'm reading NJO stuff (New Jedi Order) which is around 20 years after ANH (A New Hope... you are probably catching onto my crap now +_=;). Anyways, I have been reading nonstop. I've probably read about 2000 pages of this stuff or more in about 2 weeks. [slinks away to do more reading] Also, I've been drawing some art, mostly of Jacen, Jaina, Tenel Ka, Zekk, and others. [is in love and is obessive]

On Friday, me and Rhea went to give blood. Rhea was woozy all day (she hadn't eating a meal in a full day =____+). But me, on the other hand, couldn't at all. They told me that my hemoticrit was way too low and that I am probably anemic and that give blood would be a very bad idea. Sounds like drama and rubbish to me. I waited all fucking day and missed Kelsey's Senior Project (goddamnit... that's the one I looked forward to...). After school we went to Rhea's and watched Heavenly Creatures, this movie I've been fiending for. It's all about Peter Jackson. I mean, now I see why they let him to Lord of the Rings! It was TWISTED and BEAUTIFUL and I LOVED IT. New Zealand accents rock my Kashyyk Casbah. We watched a few episodes of "The Office", this hilarious British show. British televisiona and humor cracks me up more than half of the stuff I see on American television for some reason. My mom never picked me up, so I spent the night. The next day we went to Berkeley and went shopping for clothes for Rhea. She needed lots of CUTE CUTE stuff and we got her CUTECUTE shit. Indeed. We went to Sway, Urban Outfiters, Aha... it was awesome. She was nice enough to help me buy a skirt and some accessories from Aha. Thank you, Rhea! We got her LOTS of adorable clothes and now she will always look kawaii! I'll post some pictures and random shit from that day later this week. My mom CONTINUED to ignore me, so that night we watched Benny and Joon (now, one of my favorite Johnny movies, he was SO ABSOLUTELY SWEET) and The Astronauts Wife. That movie wasn't that great, but Johnny fucked Charlize Theron. What is MORE SEXY THAT JOHNNY and CHARLIZE?!?!?! ... not much ladies and gents. Brian and Justin, yeah, but that's just ONE couple. ^.^V

Today we played DDR, brainstormed, drew, and I read LOTS of manga. Over the course of the weekend, I read about 12 volumes of manga. It was all Peach Girl that she had (which was plenty) and the first three volumes of Mars (which I started reading a couple of years ago in TokyoPop's mag, "Smile"). I love Peach Girl and Momo and Kiley are teh shite together. Mars is AWESOME because she's always drawing and I like characters I can relate to. Rei is so hot, goddamnit, I need to have my own Rei. Must have...

Well, I tried not to ramble on, but as usual I've failed that. Man, that was only for two weeks... Imagine if I did it for ALL of time. [cringes at the thought] I'll probably remember more of the crap as I continue to update this journal. Peace.

Everyone doubted that there was anything left to be done in the Ranma Nibun no Ichi fandom. But I have found something that I can't find anywhere: RanmaxRyouga slash. Nope. Can't find it. Me, Steph, and Rhea are all glomping it like water on P-chan and honestly, we can do alot for the fandom with fanart, fanfiction, and doujinshi.

Here's the hard part. We were into this fandom as kids and if anyone nowadays likes something Rumiko Takahashi, it's only Inu Yasha. But we would help the Ranma fandom because it's died and really needs a resurrection. So the three of us are working and planning this...

This weekend my aunt and uncle left, and now it's just me taking care of Obaa-san again. I don't mind. In fact, after this I'm going to go sit with her and feed her. But this past two weeks has affected something major; instead of attending CSM, I'll be attending SCC.

They think this is too expensive here (it is) and if me and Norr go back to Grandma's house and live there everything will be cheaper. Me and Norr won't have to pay rent, my mom can live somewhere cheaper, and I can go to Sac City and study Japanese, Mandarin, Korean, and even Fashion Design. I'm thinking something like this for the next two years:

Japanese Intermediate then Advanced
Elementary Korean
Elementary and Intermediate Chinese

Hells yes. I'm a fucking language machine. Anyways, me and Rhea have been thinking of working on an original manga etc. I'm excited. And some fanart collabs with Steph. And Senior Project in less than two weeks... SHOOT ME IN THE APPENDIX.

Rated S for shitface because the word "happy" and "unhappy", in their simplicity, will be used FREQUENTLY. I honestly don't know how I'll squeeze this journal out, but I know it will be long and most likely I'll be too busy ranting to get to any point.

Honestly, am I happy? Everyone else seems to be bouncing in happiness. Me? ... Not so much. Let's start out with the one positive point: I bought World of Warcraft a couple of weeks ago. That counts as happiness. Hmm, but from there it all went downhill and icky.

The day after I bought it, I wasted an entire Friday driving around California and NOT playing Warcrack. Not too bad.
I write a drabble gift for a drabble gift thingy. I post it. The person never reads it. No one ever reads it except for Steph. Just plain annoying.
Then I get sick that Monday after Rhea's birthday party.  I have to stay homesick on Tuesday. Yatta!

Here's where it gets cruel.  So I'm sick. I can't touch my Grandma and be around her much. I'm in my room miserably reading and Warcracking when I hear a BIG BOOM. So immediately thinking it's my Grandmother falling, I run to the living room. Sure enough there is her on the floor with her knocked over chair. She tells me, "I can't move." I think, "Excellent. AbsoFUCKINGlutely excellent." So I get he up eventually and I just sit her in her chair and get her more food and drink.  I have NO idea what to do because it looks like she seriously cannot move her shoulder. My mom says "wait for me to come home, don't call norr" (who happens to be 10 minutes away and I ended up calling him anyways after 3 HOURS of waiting for my mother).  So as the night goes on, she says she can't move her leg either! Grr. So eventually me and Norr get her to the hospital and we wait for a diagnosis and it was this: a broken arm and a broken hip. Grr. And I already felt guilty but after knowing it was her hip, the one thing everyone wanted to avoid, I felt like shit. And two weeks later, I STILL feel like shit. I feel TOTALLY responsible no matter how many times a friend or my mom tells me otherwise. But there's nothing I can do to change it, so let's not talk about that part. Instead, let's just say that the entire situation flat out ENDED my "HAPPINESS" for now.  If I'm not at home wanting to be at the hospital, I'm at the hospital. And if I'm at home, it's usually because I have massive projects to do.  During my absence of two days (one for sickness, one for hospital sitting), I acquired two MASSIVE projects. Absolutely spiffing.  Oh yeah. Because of the surgery, her body went into shock and had a heart attack. How could I forget that tidbit?

And I here's a fun bit: you've gotta pretend to be happyhappyluckyluckymonkeymonkey otherwise you have to stew in your unhappiness in front of people and make them unhappy. We have no money, we can't afford to live here but we have to, all of my mothers savings have been depleted since last December 31st, the day I predicted everything would go downhill. And that's depressing. Everything HAS gone downhill. Hmm.. what else? Oh yeah. Since that date, my mother's husbands son died, my Grandma got sick, my Grandma had a stroke, my Grandma got Alzheimers, we have no money (as I'm constantly reminded), my Grandma broke her shoulder, hip, and had a heart attack, and everyone else for the most part seems to be happy.

That usually doesn't affect me so much. If I'm depressed while other people are happy and perfect, I'm fine and congradulate their happiness. But I'm REALLY not happy.  And I keep hearing about wonderful things for people. And I'm actually happy for them. But I honestly am depressed for myself, something I really don't enjoy.  I don't find it selfish that I'm depressed about all of these things (which are magnified when depressed). I feel that ever since the end of my sophmore year, it's really okay to keep sadness to myself because no one was there to tell I was sad.  Before that, as most of you know, if I was depressed I let you know because I figured people would have something to say, a suggestion or a word of comfort. And they did. But when you suddenly feel like you have to face each day with no one (no one you can confide these things in), you'd rather be by yourself, drenched in whatever tears you've got.  And, fuck, it's annoying being sad and guilty and depressed and all around shitty. But I was still happy for other peoples happiness.

Suddenly, people are getting everything I want or everything they want in life or in the here and now. And I try and feel good about it and if I didn't feel like shit, that might be possible. But after hearing ONE thing after ANOTHER, I just want to run out of the house to some friends house, and I wouldn't mind being soaked in the rain and freezing all over. It'd be okay.  I'd have someone to talk to and take my mind off of things. But nope. I shall, as I said before, stew in my lack of happiness.

...I think I need to go back to the Castle and watch Ranma.

Want to know why I've neglected my journal and aim and whatever for these past two weeks? Voila. Hospital rooms are cozy.

Okay. Good day! I've had a relatively good day. I just read three amazing fics and  oh GOD they were the yum. All Potter-related. They are in my memories as the three most recent uncategorized entries.  Goddamn. -_-; Hot.

And I've had this recent sort of redelving into manga. Newer stuff (like Nana) and older stuff (like Ranma). Gah, I'd forgotten how much I missed reading manga. 0.o;; I am reccing Gokinjo Monotagari and the rereading of Ranma, because I haven't seen it in years and it's damned good.

And it' all about the QAF. You KNOW it is. If you don't like Brian and Justin, you have no heart. Goddamn they are perfect together, I don't care what you say!  [is overly obsessed]

YES! userinfoakazora and  saiyanzrepublik have gotten livejournals!!!  So happy. In commemoration, I have used a Brian/Justin icon because I know my hubby likes her QAF. I must find out where she is and what she's doing!

I can't believe I'm almost not a senior. That I'm almost a high school graduate. I mean, a few more months left, but that's not very long at all. I guess talking to Ting made me realize how close college is. [faint]
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Well, I'm trying to be an active deviant.  I'm just posting and visiting and commenting and deviant art has been a lot more welcoming this time around.

Last final tomorrow. Govt. Gonna die.... SEPPUKU! [realizes that she's not a guy]

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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Reina
2. Eunju
3. Lauren (3 personalities,dood.)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. ComatoseSiren
2. NterstellarComa
3. SoulInsignia

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my eyes
2. my heritage
3. my talents

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my audacity
2. skin
3. being 5'11"... okay, sometimes.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Korean
2. German
3. African-American

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. pitbulls
2. my uncanny sixth sense! -__-;
3. being alone forever

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Harry Potter
2. Japanese
3. Andou Masanobu

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. multicolored (mostly pink) scarf
2. white polka dotted, pink cherried black skirt
3. pink strappy with black lace heart

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Mew
2. The Mars Volta
3. No Doubt

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. driving
2. surviving my first year of college (or surviving the last of high school, lol)
3. something... dirty?

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. loyalty
2. comfort
3. ... good sex.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I favor my asian heritage more my others... -_-;
2. I prefer baths over showers.
3. I love America!!! (couldn't find a bigger lie anywhere, lol)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. shoulders/arms
2. hands
3. voice

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. body
2. skin
3. intelligence

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. find a boy
2. sit down for more than 3 hours
3. stay warm

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. singing
2. drawing or writing
3. reading

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. leave america
2. be in Harajuku, Tokyo or London, England
3. design clothes

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. english teacher in japan
2. fashion design
3. translator
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. England
3. Pusan

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Marry a Japanese guy with hair, eyes, lips like... okay, Marry Masa.
2. Speak Japanese, Korean, Russian, Mandarin, and Russian.
3. Be known for something I've done or created.

Title: Play By Play
Author: Nterstellarcoma Rating: PG
Pairings: Fred and Angelina
Author's Notes: This was another challege between me and paperhana. The word was “position”.  This one took a little work because the first concept wasn’t working for me, lol. This one works much better, and it's in the Quidditch locker rooms, somewhere I've never written before. Randomness. Squeal!  So, voila.

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Title: Fields
Rating: G
Pairings: Harry and Ron
Author's Notes:  I actually really like this story. It's probably because I adore the setting, as fields are my favorite place to be. Bet you didn't know that, did you? ^^ Tell me what you think and contructive criticism is welcome if you see or have a problem with something. This is part of a daily, little challenge that I have with paperhana. Enjoy!

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Title: Just A Memory
Author: Nterstellarcoma
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: HarryXDraco
Rating: PG-13 (For suggestion of sexual content)
Author Notes: Okay, well, this is my first challenge. I wanted to do it in fifteen minutes, but I can't limit it to that if I don't have it planned out.  So rather than drabble, it was indeed a ficlet. Tell me what you think. ;]
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