I'm 24 and I've just started seeking therapy to deal with my binges. I'm hoping that talking it out with some people who understand what it feels like. I've never purged, but I have tried to. I'm really nervous to write in this. I know that it may be searched for future jobs. But I need to make this better. I can't do it anymore. It's too painful and too difficult.
So I think I'm going to get into what made me look for this in the first place. I'm in the middle of a binge and I feel horrible. I feel disgusting and disgusted. I'm embarassed and unhappy. I have gained 15 lbs in the past year from all this binging and it's making me so mad at myself. It's good to know that there are others like me out there. I hope others use this too.
I didn't even know there was a nonpurging type of bulimia untill i realised that was me! I used to only eat if I knew I would use the cals and sometime i would be starving so i would eat a musli bar which had 100cals then I would ride on the excersise bike till id burt 100cals. I was still hungry at the end but I woulndn't eat coz if i did id have to burn it off and i just felt so weak and had no energy. Stupid Hey! and i didn't even know that that wasn't normal I just thought i was being weight concious. now i go through purging stages and excersising stages and fasts. I feel so stupid and I feel so tired but I can eat coz if I do I will feel like shit. I haven't eaten without feeling gulity for a long time so long that i can remember the last time I didn't think about wat i was putting in my mouth. if that makes sense. Anyway this seems like a fairly dead community but it described me so well so if anyone would like to comment please do Id love to hear from anyone.
Hi there. I just wanted to take a minute to introduce myself. I'm not to sure what to say though. I'm 27 and a Mom. Figuring out that I had a problem with eating happened pretty recently. I almost didn't notice what I was doing. I shouldn't say almost since it was going on for a while. I tend to not eat after a binge. I just can't do it, food repulses me. The guilt has to subside before I can eat again and then the cycle starts again. I'm trying to end that. Not sure how yet.
If anyone really knew what bulimics went through, they wouldn't want to be bulimic. They wouldnt be coming up with cutesy names like mia. do you hear aids patients calling themselves aidsys or hivvies? do cancer patients call themselves cancies or lukes (leukemia) or whatever? no. so what is it with all this trendy teenybopper ana/mia bullshit?
people think bulimia is all about gettign to eat whatever yo uwant and then puking it all up and being as skinny as a rail. but the reality is you dont eat what you want. it's more like what you want eats you. you dont puke, it pukes you. and you're not skinny. chances are you're gainign weight and destroying your insides. and that's just the purging type.
i used to be purging type but i'm not anymore. last time i puked was in december and it wasnt really on purpose. i was so full it jsut happened.
nonpurging type is even worse. it means A LOT OF TIME is going to be wasted making up for calories. hours and hours of exercising. and if youre strong enought that day, fasting too. and what if you dont have trime to exercise b/c of a thing called work or the weather or school or family/friend obligations???
I don't know where i'm going with this. I'm just gonna keep writing here in hopes that maybe someone will read this and decide NOT to be ana/mia.
Bulimia is a horrible disease but there is a side of it that barely gets any attention. When people think of bulimia they immediately think of someone vomiting their food up. They never think about the girl who eats 4000 calories a day and spends the whole night exercising at the gym and the next day fasting only to cave in and binge again all this to just barely MAINTAIN her weight.
This community is for people of all ages who suffer from the non-purging form of bulimia. This is not a place to learn how to become bulimic, anorexic or how to lose weight. Please educate yourself before joining or posting.
This community is for those who want to recover, those who don't and those who just want to survive to another day. This community is also for bulimics who purge by vomiting or with laxatives and diuretics BUT WANT TO STOP.
Talk about your binges, exercising, fasting or your struggle to stop purging. HOWEVER, THIS COMMUNITY DOES NOT ENCOURAGE THOSE WHO VOMIT, USE DIURETICS OR LAXATIVES. We only encourage bulimics to stop purging in unhealthy ways.
A binge may be inevitable but exercising and/or fasting is way healthier and less harmful than constantly vomiting and using chemicals to purge your system.
I will not be advertising this community. i dont want all the girls pretending to be ed-nos out there going "OMG TEH MIA-NONPURGE DIET!" and thinking they can eat 2000 calories a day, exercise for 30 minutes and get to validate how MIA they are.
If you found this community, chances are, you were looking for it. I wish you all good luck.
