don't look back all you'll ever get

FRIENDS ONLY

Comment to be a marra.

Nick Andros! I was legit convinced I was in love with him when I was at school. Of course, it helped that Rob Lowe played him in the movie.

Why, yes, this is the post that broke my LJ silence...

I had my driving test on Thursday.

It did not go well.

First off, I fucked up within six minutes when, for reasons known to only God, I tried to turn right into oncoming traffic. I decided after that to impress him with how good I could have been. I was all awesome and spotted a red light from MILLLLES away and came to a gorgeous stop behind a car.

And waited.

And waited.

Then he pointed out the hazards were on the car in front. DAMNIT. So I went round it. Everything going well, fine, I was checking mirrors like a boss, and then the speed went up to 50. I'd never been to 50! I had no idea how to get into fifth gear! Somehow, after about eight minutes of screaming in my head, I risked it. But--- But then? We reached this massive roundabout and he asked me to go third right and I had no fucking idea what to do, there was three lanes and lorries and beeping and I was in fifth gear and I...

I fucking crashed, okay?

We drove straight into an island (which is now damaged) and I broke the tire bit thing. I burst in wracking sobs and had to get off the roundabout into a side lane with a car that was basically balancing on one side ala The Flintstones. That's pretty difficult with a death grip on a steering wheel and your eyes squeezed shut. Probably the best part of the test, actually. He then started to berate me. Then attempted to console me. Then he tried to small talk me while we waited for someone to come get us.

Examiner: So! What kind of music do you like?
Me: NIIINAAAA WAHHHH *SNIFF* SIMMOOOONNNNNEEEE
Examiner: Are you going anywhere nice for your holidays?
Me: LOOO LOOOOSS ANGELLLESSS OH GOOOOOD I BROKE A CAR *SNIFF* I WANT MAH MUM.

And so on.

It.was.mortifying. And today at work my Union Rep noticed I looked sad and called me into a meeting to ask what was the matter. The bastard laughed until he cried.

In case you are wondering, I failed. And am taking up walking.

Every time I hear something new and douche like about Ryan Murphy, I fall harder in love. I blame Wuthering Heights for warping my world view of men.

Murphy is Heathcliff and I'm Isabella Linton. And I'm all like 'Oh! You're so brooding and twat like. TAKE ME ON THESE HERE MOORS.' And he's all over there, emptying my purse and observing me with cold, sneering disdain.

Ergh, and Joseph is fandom. OH! Joseph is Tumblr. I understand every fourth word. And skim a lot.

Also, I read this and it took me up until Murphy was building a barrier around New York before I realised it was a parody.

Take me away, Ryan. Let me rule at your side (or, as your foot stool) in your new world order of EVIL.

Because there is no one I can tell, can I tell you f/list?

Yesterday, I went to Haydock and had Access All Areas pass. I got to meet horses! Er, no, no. Scissor Sisters were playing. It's been awhile since I have seen them and I've been very lucky in the past with aftershows and what I've had but this was just unreal. There was only three of us and Jake sat telling us about his musical and things to see in NYC and then Ana came out and invited us all back to her trailer where we sat having vodka and 'dirty smoothies'. I finally remembered to thank her for the tamba she gave me! I had to sit there and act all calm and chill when in my head there was the constant noise of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I can't even-- I don't-- Just to have your only living idol actually sitting there chatting withyou, knowing your name without prompting and constantly initiating hugs, giving you a fucking bottle of Chablis to take home? Bette Davis would probably stab me in the spleen if I'd ever met her when she was alive. I'd also have been three so conversation would have been one sided It's been seven years and every time this band blow me away at how kind, warm and thoughtul they are.

I also got to ask their tour manager what Britney Spears was like and it's pretty much what I knew from Heat but still, that EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! noise was looping in my head during that conversation.

Also! Saw Legally Blonde yesterday which you MUST see it! It's just so fun and silly. I can't get There! Right There! out of my head.

And today. Today I say goodbye to Harry Potter. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.

News of the World shut down after hacking the voicemail of murdered teen and others

...the brunette posted the link with a smile and jiggled her 30E bust. Av it!

I went to Dublin! But not to see the birth places of Wilde, Joyce or Shaw. Not to see the Castle, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Kilmainham Gaol or Phoenix Park.

No.

I went for Glee.

I don't even care, baby. The first show was...the whole place actually was a bit weird. Like Mathew Street or Blackpool had been air dropped in and told to talk with an accent. I messed up the hotel booking based on the fact "I must be booked in here. Why else would I be following them on Twitter?" but then had to trek across Dublin because that shit apparently isn't official. Luckily, I had actually booked somewhere. We couldn't check in until 2pm, thoough and I had been up since a time that has no actual recording. It was dark and there was an owl. That's all I know. We saw things with our sight until it was time to go back to hotel and sleep like I just bought the new Rufus Wainwright album. And we did! For fifteen minutes. And then.

I HAD THE TIIIMMMME OF MY LIFEEEEEE.

And it kept getting louder. AND LOUDER.

Tear filled, I crawled to the window to see three open top buses of men dressed as clowns, and women and children carrying a giant picture of a foetus, plus an MC chanting WHEN I SAY PRO, YOU SAY LIFE. PRO! LIFE! PRO! LIFE!

They did this for around a hour and a fucking half. Do you know how many songs are loosely based around the word LIFE? Too many. I GET IT. I GET IT. I'LL KEEP ANY FUTURE BABIES. GO AWAY.

Finally they did, and we slept and got food etc and then went to the gig. The gig where standing is punishable by death and screaming is terribly restrained. Afterwards we wandered out and saw the Warblers- Curt Mega, Titus Makin (I keep wanting to write Groan), Jon Hall and... er, Riker? Curt and Titus are lovely! The next gig was much, much better. Someone must have put tacks on the seats because they all stood up, and every performance was super charged with so much energy. And they kept taking off their shirts! Oh, and this happened.

I am now back. In Liverpool. Staring around the chaos of my room and wondering what to pack for London tomorrow. Oh, London! (and Liverpool) I LOVE YOU. Your street crossing noises aren't mildly hilarious and make me think I just got an extra life on Sonic the Hedgehog.

Left my iPod in driver instructor's car last week and just spent a whole lesson with, "Seriously. Steps? STEPS?" Nearly crashed on a roundabout when she remembered I had Daphne and Celeste on there.

Speaking of music I should have grown out of:



EEE! I don't even care that most of you are vomiting into your hands.

I have a feeling that this Wikipedia article on Hua Mulan may not have been written by a historian...

As a child, Mulan loved riding horses around her gaff and shooting arrows

Tired. Drained. This will read like poetry by e.e.cummings.

So, I saw Glee Live

And while I was waiting for rebness at Victoria station, three Warblers (the one who plays David, Riker and the tall one) turned up and went nuts on a candy stall. I had no camera (my BBM camera is dreadful) and I was freaking the fuck out while I tried to sit next to them calmly. Which is weird because I’m not even a Warbler fan. They were stood next to me for ages, too, before I thought, Fuck it. I’ll get Riker in a pic on my shitty phone, and then everyone else began clicking on who they be, and was too late. MY LIFE. Full of regrets, tbh

rebness turned up “UNNNNNH. Camera broke and that, innit? THE ONE THING YOU TRUSTED ME WITH.” So we went to WH Smith and got wind up cameras. It took about an hour to remember how to actually use them and then we went the fuck in. Same Warblers were stood next to The Pit, which is alongside the platform, and I was staring in that direction to see the Glee club come on. I’m pretty sure the weird candy loitering starey girl is now on some sort of register.

GIG WAS AMAZING. Due to cameras being from 1984 and only working on things four foot away, we had to wait until they were near us, and they were nearest when stood behind me facing crowd. Which means I have 35 pics of people’s backs. And Lea and Heather’s knickers. NOT MY FAULT. I was just clicking like a bastard. Whatever, it was awesome. So were the knickers.

HIGHLIGHTS:

* Jessie’s Girl
* Raise Your Glass (with my candy chums)
* SAFETY DANCE
* Born This Way
* Valerie
* NEARLY touching Naya’s fingers. I nearly dislocated an arm and possibly crushed the jaw bones of the people next to me.
* Getting slushied by Chris Colfer (except he originially had his back to me, so I wasn’t expecting it and reacted like it was acid. He gave me a concerned look. Possibly due the weeping, clawing at my face and screams of “I’ll sue!”)
* Corey’s half smile
* Naya being insanely, insanely beautiful in real life.
* The train ride home with three insane drunks who told us about their lives as drug addicts, child prostitutes, gamblers, giggers, seasoned adventurers and haters of the gingers.

Want to go again. Now.