(no subject)
1) Be nicer.
2) Be less angry.
3) Get better grades.
4) Drink more water.
5) Eat better.
6) Work out.
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giggly
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(no subject)
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(no subject)
A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!"
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crazy
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beautiful.all your own.
"Sam's hands met mine. Screen and gloves between us where we were touching. He was crying. I was crying. It was hard. But with this small gesture, we were fighting back. We weren't paralyzed...or crushed by the monster. We didn't fold up or drop out. We summoned the courage to play the cards life had dealt each of us. Reluctant, insecure warriors but warriors all the same. And we weren't alone."
-Kissingdoorknobs by Terry Spencer Hesser
ICP
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
Another morning, I must get up and go to school
I'm taking too long gettin dressed, tryin to look my best
Because today is not your ordinary every morning
My high school prom is coming and I heave my daddy's warnings
I'm going to find myself a girl to take to the prom
I shouldn't have too much trouble because I'm
I'm very nice, my mother says I'm very handsome
When I wear my good vest, and mother knows best
I got to school, I straggle through the hallways
I stop and gaze at all the girls just like always
But this time, I must now approach them (or)
Or my daddy might get mad and break my wrist again (ow)
And so I chose her, her hair, it matches with her face
She is so lovely, my heart pulse begin to race
I make my way between her friends and to her presence
Hello, Christine, would you be my prom queen?
I'd rather die, I'd rather die, I'd rather die... (repeat over)
(would you be my prom queen? no! aaah! prom queen)
There was a time when I could except a no
That was before, Christine is gonna have to go
My parents will be proud of me when I bring her home
So now I sit and watch her practice in the gym dome
Christine is famous, she has so many different friends
Will they miss her when she's dead or will they just pretend
Nobody talks to me, I only talk to I
And I been telling myself all day, she's gotta die
"Good morning, everybody. This is Principal Rogers, and I would just
like to congradulate our Senior class and wish them at tonight's
Prom dance."
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
It was really fuckin easy, I'm a human hater
I took a towel from the locker room to suffocate her
I had to throw away her gym bag and all her folders
And when it got dark, I caried her home on my shoulders
My daddy was asleep, when I snuck her in the back
I thought about my situation and it's kind of whack
It sounds cheap, but we're having prom in my cellar
But she's dead, I guess I'll never have to tell her
I took the bottles of Tamiace, four dollars worth
I took the seventeen dollars that was in her purse
I bought balloons and streaming and stuff to munch
I had a dollar left, I bought a Faygo Punch
I hung the streamers and balloons on my basement wall
I banged my head a couple times, I'm just too fuckin tall
I would have took her to the school like a normal man
But I had to kill her first they'd never understand
I put a record on and then I picked her up to dance
I bet she cannot feel the woody growing in my pants
I know my daddy would be proud of all that I've done
Instead of burning me, he'd probably come and hug his son
I think about it as I dance slowly to the beat
The more I think about it tears are rolling down my cheek
I hope I showed Christine a night like no other
After all, that's how my daddy did my mother
"Our Seniors deserve a night to celebrate with friends, celebrate
all their great work. Prom night is your very own special night,
and everybody always remember their high school prom."
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
-Kissingdoorknobs by Terry Spencer Hesser
ICP
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
Another morning, I must get up and go to school
I'm taking too long gettin dressed, tryin to look my best
Because today is not your ordinary every morning
My high school prom is coming and I heave my daddy's warnings
I'm going to find myself a girl to take to the prom
I shouldn't have too much trouble because I'm
I'm very nice, my mother says I'm very handsome
When I wear my good vest, and mother knows best
I got to school, I straggle through the hallways
I stop and gaze at all the girls just like always
But this time, I must now approach them (or)
Or my daddy might get mad and break my wrist again (ow)
And so I chose her, her hair, it matches with her face
She is so lovely, my heart pulse begin to race
I make my way between her friends and to her presence
Hello, Christine, would you be my prom queen?
I'd rather die, I'd rather die, I'd rather die... (repeat over)
(would you be my prom queen? no! aaah! prom queen)
There was a time when I could except a no
That was before, Christine is gonna have to go
My parents will be proud of me when I bring her home
So now I sit and watch her practice in the gym dome
Christine is famous, she has so many different friends
Will they miss her when she's dead or will they just pretend
Nobody talks to me, I only talk to I
And I been telling myself all day, she's gotta die
"Good morning, everybody. This is Principal Rogers, and I would just
like to congradulate our Senior class and wish them at tonight's
Prom dance."
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
It was really fuckin easy, I'm a human hater
I took a towel from the locker room to suffocate her
I had to throw away her gym bag and all her folders
And when it got dark, I caried her home on my shoulders
My daddy was asleep, when I snuck her in the back
I thought about my situation and it's kind of whack
It sounds cheap, but we're having prom in my cellar
But she's dead, I guess I'll never have to tell her
I took the bottles of Tamiace, four dollars worth
I took the seventeen dollars that was in her purse
I bought balloons and streaming and stuff to munch
I had a dollar left, I bought a Faygo Punch
I hung the streamers and balloons on my basement wall
I banged my head a couple times, I'm just too fuckin tall
I would have took her to the school like a normal man
But I had to kill her first they'd never understand
I put a record on and then I picked her up to dance
I bet she cannot feel the woody growing in my pants
I know my daddy would be proud of all that I've done
Instead of burning me, he'd probably come and hug his son
I think about it as I dance slowly to the beat
The more I think about it tears are rolling down my cheek
I hope I showed Christine a night like no other
After all, that's how my daddy did my mother
"Our Seniors deserve a night to celebrate with friends, celebrate
all their great work. Prom night is your very own special night,
and everybody always remember their high school prom."
Won't you be my prom queen?
Everybody has a real good time
(no subject)
"...On our third night here Atticus held a banquet in our honor. Neva helped me dress in a fresh white toga with a sacet of myrrh tucked next to my skin. She painted my toenails blue then fastened delicate gold chains with tiny bells around my ankles. I wore a crown of henna blossoms, my hair brushed straight to my shoulders, my eyelids also painted blue.
I wanted to appear royal, but not cheap like Berenice. Neva held up my mirror for one last look, then we walked outside. We followed a path lit by tiny oil lamps that had been placed alonside the stones. When we passed the kitchen, I saw a long fire pit where several wild boars were roasting on spits, other meats were turning, also small duck and small fowl.
The Banquet hall was a grand room that opened on to gardens, reminding me of home. Couches had been aranged around low tables, so that three of us could recline together while eating. Pillows and covers are in the same colorful fabrics we have in Alexandria, I suppose because we trade in the same countries..."
-Cleopatra VII, Daughter of the Nile
I wanted to appear royal, but not cheap like Berenice. Neva held up my mirror for one last look, then we walked outside. We followed a path lit by tiny oil lamps that had been placed alonside the stones. When we passed the kitchen, I saw a long fire pit where several wild boars were roasting on spits, other meats were turning, also small duck and small fowl.
The Banquet hall was a grand room that opened on to gardens, reminding me of home. Couches had been aranged around low tables, so that three of us could recline together while eating. Pillows and covers are in the same colorful fabrics we have in Alexandria, I suppose because we trade in the same countries..."
-Cleopatra VII, Daughter of the Nile
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(no subject)
The Legend of the Starfish
A vacationing businessman was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy. Along the shore were many starfishes that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned. The young boy was walking slowly along the beach and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfishes back into the ocean. The businessman, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son. You have a good heart and I know you mean well but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfishes are dying on the beach everyday? Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time. Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?" The boy looked up at the man and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish and, as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said,"it makes a difference to that one."
-Author Unknown-
A vacationing businessman was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy. Along the shore were many starfishes that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned. The young boy was walking slowly along the beach and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfishes back into the ocean. The businessman, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son. You have a good heart and I know you mean well but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfishes are dying on the beach everyday? Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time. Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?" The boy looked up at the man and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish and, as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said,"it makes a difference to that one."
-Author Unknown-