Goddamn Groovy

Unfortunately my keyboard wont support that spelling so i will have to content myself with saying

RTD You silly C**t what are you doing for fucks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So not only do we have the returning shite assistant next series (Ms Tate) but another (ms Martha) and yet a fookin other (Sodding Rose)
Not only that but it appears that every companion will have to want the doctors pork
He even acts like a love sick puppy with sodding Kylie for fooks sake, in what can only be described as Robots of death meets Enlightenment meets the Posiedon adventure ON THE SET OF EASTENDERS!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid pillock!
So lets see how he can possibly fook up the Sontarons next series.......................................
Holds breath for a collosal rant when it happens

*deep breath*

Yes yes i know i aint been online for a while but it's silly season and you all know my thoughts and rants on it so instead of boring you i have been in internet dormancy period,

SEEEE THIS IS HOW MUCH RTD ARSES ME OFF
IM ON LJ IN DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear god
Yup tonight we are playing a gig at Tiverton college, Dressed as pirates of course
It's going to scare me i know it, i had enough of teenage hormones this time last year when i was working over at Bicton college.

In tother news
The silly new opening hours at work have given me time to listen to the late night phone in on Gemini called 'Late Night Love'
Now. last night some poor unfortunate called in to seek advice about his 'Member' now this wasn't what made me chuckle as im sure impotence is a nightmare, what did make me chuckle was the advice people called in

Apparently
"Jogging followed by a hot bath" is the cure to impotence

So all over Devon this morning
Men were seen Jogging with a bottle of Radox under one arm

Really who decides to share their Bedroom problems with the entire county

Madness

This random idea spawns from a VERY random conversation on MSN with pesky_piskie

Now i do have a hatred of them hidious pretentious 'up-market' coffee shops, that are populated by toffee nosed Yuppies and posh old ladies,  and also think that they are horribly stuffy, oppressive and downright dull places

So in an attempt to brighten these places (and this country as a whole) up
I suggest serving the pretentiously titled coffee to said pretentious folk
In nothing less than Sea creature mugs

This may have stemmed from the fact i got her a mug shaped like an octopuss for her birthday, Complete with tentacles and everything

Just imagine said breifcase and tie boy's face as his Grande Latte turns up in a mug shaped like a crab...Priceless

This is one of the most amusing things i have seen in a long while
Yup now you can see where Dubya gets it from



God bless America

Dammit, i don't like having Fridays off
For the last month or so, i have been working solidly, and when i have not been working i have either had Gigs with the Pyrates or been on groovy adventures with pesky_piskie, so when i have a friday off when she is over in Eastbourne, I find myself increadably bored

This is mostly due to the fact that there is absoulutely sod all to do in Exeter on a friday
Except, sitting in the Firehouse courtyard in Frills and Eyeliner, Burbling drunkenly at the staff and regulars
then having the worlds dodgiest Curry, that could remove paint off walls at 15 paces then leaves you feeling violated, and suffering from what Jonny Cash calls "the burning ring of fire"

In short, last night was dull

And in a more disturbing note, i appear to be slowly becoming the Pirate/goth version of Trinnie and Suzzanah, after my hour long discussion with certain staff members (jules and Giles) about Pirate costumes and eyeliner, that more than a few of the students were interested in
Dear christ, i have already corrupted the soundsystem there with bawdy sea shantys, now we can expect half of the halls of residence turning up looking like a cross between captain hook and Pete burns

Right so as to avoid another night of this silliness i am jumping on a train and buggering off to Taunton to see All Living Fear.

Has finally opened in Exeter
And just as i suspected it is a souless, shrine to consumer bollocks, packed wall to wall with people weilding Jane sodding Norman bags like offensive weapons, and aiming prams at you like demented driving instructors on speed.

I am of course refering to the Princesshay development
It is not quite as rediculous as the sodding Bullring in brum (which selfridges flagships with a building that looks like a huge silver spotty arse, or the inside of the TARDIS gone horribly wrong, depending on the angle you veiw it from)
Nope Exeter have gone for a structure that indeed looks like a giant public toilet
Complete with silly looking seating arrangements that look like glass bidets

Way to go Devon county council...........You fookin Ginnits!

Anyhoo in other news, a last minute gig has been sprung upon us
So whoreing time!!!

Yup that is this sunday so haul your asses over
Yarrr!

NEEDS EXCORCISING!!!!

Arrrrrrrrgggg Dammit,
right, the radio at work has a knackared ariel so the only station we have been able to get for 2 weeks has been The Devon local station Gemini FM
I have managed to control myself up until today, but i have finally had it with the Pop music of today
OK i have ALWAYS known how throwaway, no-brainer, Shite the whole thing is but for fooks sake i didn't think it was this bad, it's quite disturbing, and i cannot fathom who are the idiots, the air-head bimbo's and the like that release this garbage or the people who buy it.
For instance answer me this, WHY in the name of sanity, does seemingly EVERY song by Shakira have some bloke saying Shakira Shakira after every sentence, is it to remind her of her name?
or is it to remind the brainless masses who the hell they are listening to, either way it's sodding annoying.
Speaking of which, The song that has been No 1 for 10 weeks apparently, is sung by a woman whom cannot pronounce the word Umbrella properly and then proceeds to make a noise that sounds like the most unnconvincing monotone faked orgasm in history, Frankly its bollocks.
And it's no sodding wonder half the country is depressed when pretty much every song in the chart at the moment is about a break up or being lonley or unwanted or some shit, CHEER UP FOR FUCKS SAKE
Whomever does that song that Just says 'you make me suicidal' over and over again Needs to shut up repeating himself and reach for the razorblades, for fucks sake, and stop inflicting your whiny shat on us and making us feel suicidal you talentless nipple
And don't even start me on Avril sodding Levine, If anyone needed their own personal samaritan it's that whingy bint.
Then there is the 'We wanna be the *insert iconic 80's Indie rock band here* brigade, who all sound absolutely IDENTICAL and DULL AS DISHWATER.

And just when you think it cannot get any worse.....
The fookin adverts start,
"have you just been left for another woman, call us and we will exploit your pain and suffering"
or even worse
"buy Bernard Matthews Turky slices, now with only 50 percent avian flu"
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG

Reet sory about that i just had to let it out
Or the Radio was going in the deep fat fryer

Sodding Gemini

Just about recovered from my excursion to Brighton to see pesky_piskie on my days off this week
Despite the travel being Long and at stupid o'clock a very nice time was had
We went to the sealife centre there, they have a whole exhibit dedicated to Crustacians *bounce*
Lots of crabs and shrimps :D
Then on the evening found a very groovy pub
Another Whychwood pub called the Hobgoblin (just like the one in reading only bigger)
That had a very groovy Goth/80's/Madchester night on, so far too much Hobgoblin was supped
And heads/bodys hurting the morning after

Anyhoo, im back over the opposite side of the country from Linda again, which sucks

Anyhoo Tonight i will be Going along to this


Congrats to matthewnorth and all of ALF on completion on their New album

Dear The trainline.com
it seems that in this age of technology, where life is supposed to be simple
You bunch of incompetant tossers are seemingly incapable of creating a website that
a) wont change its information every sodding time i click for further details
b) wont try to charge me a different price than specified
c) Trys to send me to 15 different fookin stations
d) actually fookin works
After an hour of bashing my head against the keyboard, uttering expletives unsuitable for an internet cafe, i have finally managed to book a fooking ticket.
May i express how fookin unhappy i am with your web site and overall service
and request that you return the hour of my life lost, and return my sanity, lower my blood pressure, and pay for the hair plugs to replenish the hair i pulled out whilst using your service.

If my demands are met i MAY let you live, and MIGHT refrain from reducing your headquaters to rubble.
If not you will be dealt with accordingly, just as soon as i remove my boot from the backside of a First great western ticket office cleark

Yours Fookin Truly
Tim Mendees

P.S
I could create a better website using only gaffer tape a staple gun and a one eyed woodlouse
You steaming useless ginnets.

Gawd damn
Can any of you goffick types help me out here
I am trying to get hold of some stuff by Blind Before Dawn
I cannot find any anywhere on t'net, so has anyone out there got anyting by them that i can plunder off ye

In tother news. if one more piece of my cheesecake ends up in a certain large managers mouth
i swear to christ i will fillet him and fry him in Lard!!!