The Family Nobody Wanted

Hello all,

There wasn't a community geared toward being supportive of those affected by frontal or temporal lobe brain injury, so I recently created one.

Here is a synopsis of the community:
WHO is this community for? People affected by frontal or temporal lobe traumatic brain injury (tbi) in one or more of the following ways: has a frontal or temporal tbi, interact with someone who has that, relevant medical professionals, students, and those simply interested in making a positive difference in the lives of those affected by that.
WHAT are this community's goals? Bringing individuals together to communicate with each other, discuss relevant topics, and share resources, support, and inspiration.

The community is located at http://community.livejournal.com/f…mprl_tbi . I look forward to seeing you there. If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a note.

Kind regards,
trustpects

I have a few songs stuck in my head from the past few weeks.

most of them by Hinder. Better than Me.  Evenesence Immortal etc

done with living.  tired of the lies and pretending to live.  If I had one wish, it would be to "see whats on the other side of life"  Don't want to experience what life has for me next.  This life sux.  No one cares, everyone acts like they want to keep you around but never call.  its all BS and I'm tired of it and tired of "being there" for people who dont really want you around.

Age: 25
Disorders: Non-epileptic seizures, insomnia. In the past, I've been diagnosed with depression, Bipolar disorder, and anxiety.
Habits: I smoke over a pack of cigarettes a day, smoke weed whenever I'm not at work, and abuse sleeping pills in order to fall asleep.
Other: I've had a history of sexual abuse since I was 6 years old. My grandfather, some boys from class, a male "friend",  and a female "friend", and an ex boyfriend. My mother stuck to emotional abuse and mind games. I've been free of all of them for a couple years now.
Comments/Tangents: I just want to be normal. I want to have a normal intimate relationship.

How do you cope with the knowledge of at least 2 *accidents* have occurred in your life where you should have most certainly died, yet lived?

There doesn't seem to be an awful ton of activity here...but I still wanted to post.

Name: Christina
Age: 23
Disorders: Diagnosed bipolar, social anxiety, and narcolepsy. Also may have borderline personality disorder, but won't be tested for that until next week at my psychiatrist appointment.
Habits: Nothing interesting enough to mention.
Comments/Tangents: That's about it for now, though I have to say that I really wish I could find a freaking community for narcolepsy. :(

and then she blamed all on the devil
and we ended up praying for like 20 minutes...

and she said that she'd take me to the doctor and then she didnt do it.
but sometime in the next few weeks she's gonna get married to her bf.

and im here saying WTF! i thought you'd help me. not buy me some stupid vitamins and leave me here to fend for myself.
and she wants to go on walks but i really dont wanna do that. i dont like talking to her. never have
never will.

this was a rare occasion. and for her to leave me like that is not fair.

i abhor her once again.

i'm just giving up on everything!
cos nobody's here!
nobody cares
i wanna cut soooo bad and
i want it to dig uber deep into my arm....

i wanna feel pain!!!!

i deserve it.
 

today was a waste.
i did nothing,
i ate nothing,
i sat there, crying while playing Okami<3
and i'm really starting to think that there is more wrong with me than just a small form of depression and a cutting addiction.
cos the other day,
i was in the kitchen and my mom had just gotten home and was apologizing for yelling at us,
and my head was spinning and i just started crying and i felt like i just wanted to die and then i was crying really loud and then i ran in my room and grabbed my blade from my dismantled pencil-sharpener (haha so ghetto, but it sure does the job)
and i cut away. my thighs are completely covered, and i'm so afraid to tell my bf, but hes the only one there for me,

even though he pretty much hates me cos i'm "too crazy."
i really dont have any one to talk to...
nobody can know, or else.
i cant tell my mom, cant tell her that her perfect daughter(so she thought)
has finally fallen from grace.
it would hurt her,
which i really dont care about,
but i care about it all being spread around my family, church, school, everywhere!!!
there will be people i dont even know, knowing about "how ellie went crazy and tries to off herself..."
i dont wanna deal with that.
 

SERVES ME RIGHT!!!
im just a stupid f***, right?
i dont deserve to live anymore,
{i really wanna break my streak}
i dont care about anything right now.
i wanna die.
nobody would really care anyway,
cos nobody's here for me.
my life is teetering on the edge
and i'm about to fall over and DIE.

i think i might be getting better...
not with the whole eating thing,
that still sux,
but with the whole big "S" thing.
it's been 2 weeks to the day that i havent touched my blades.
and though the voices still haunt me everyday,
i somehow evade the thought.
i am getting weak, though i wanna be strong.
and i really wanna get rid of this vice.
but nobody knows, so there's nobody there to help me....
ugh..... help.