Marina

AAAAAAAAAAH THIS EP WAS SO AMAZING. I'm afraid that with last week's ep being good and this week's ep being good we'll have to ~pay the iron price~ next week and have like 8 pointless exploitative sex scenes in a row :/








OK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SEQUENCE WAS PERFECTION. EVERYTHING. To tell you the truth, Theon's return to Winterfell is the first time since this show's started where I felt the show actually did its job in taking stuff from the book, reshaping it, condensing it, spinning it so it's a slightly different angle for a different medium, and then giving me a final product that's as disturbing, as beautiful, as brilliant as the books were in their very best moments.

Theon talking to Bran (god that actor is AMAZING and I'm so sad Bran really doesn't get to do much), Bran's room that's ACTUALLY EQUIPPED FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN'T WALK, the way Theon comes in all conqueror, all warrior, and then remembers that this is BRAN, basically his step baby brother and he sits down on Bran's bed and explains it to him slowly, using small words and calming looks because Bran is a KID.

AUGH AND THEN THE EXECUTION SCENE. Possibly MY FAVORITE SCENE OF THIS SHOW SO FAR. I could rewatch that shit a billion times. EXACTLY as gut wrenching and terrible as it might have been in the books (in the books it was "ok, whatever" to me and the show USES THIS POTENTIAL AND TRANSFORMS THE SCENE AND JUST, YES, THIS, THIS IS WHAT I WANTED). The dude's last words to Theon, Bran's sobbing and pleasing in the background, the fact that THEON CAN'T CUT THE DUDE'S NECK ON THE FIRST STROKE (jfc did the writers of this show actually do RESEARCH?), the blood spattered on Theon's face as he looks around and sees this unholy mess he's made, this terrible fucked up thing he's created. These people who raised him whose lives he's shattered and the people from are supposedly his own who he's never going to be able to lead because he's fundamentally not their kind of leader. Oh, Theon, hating you is a pretty fun pastime.



I am never, NEVER forgiving Martin for being enough of an idiot to create a specialized military
order that operates in the deep north, in territory that is covered in ice and snow 100% of the time, and has ALL BLACK UNIFORMS. NEVER. I think you have to be a VERY SPECIAL KIND OF IDIOT to come up with that.

Like, I'm sure those rangers have excellent stealth against the wildlings! Centuries of perfecting their craft! (Where do they even get BLACK FURS SERIOUSLY >_< THERE ARE NO ALL-BLACK ANIMALS IN THAT CLIMATE.)




LOL I sort of love this dude's trolling. He keeps giving a speech and Jon's like "ok, I gotcha!" and he's all "FFF NO NO I MEAN THE OPPOSITE" and Jon's like "...ok!" and then he's like "NO NO FORGET WHAT I SAID" and Jon's all "..." lolol those rangers to have to keep themselves entertained somehow, trolling the newbies must be high on the list.






Ah, Ygritte! Who obviously bought her wardrobe at the nearest winter clothing store, along with the rest of her mates. I mean I'm sort of over how horrible and illogical the wardrobe on this show is, but seriously. SERIOUSLY. Their clothes DON'T LOOK REMOTELY PRACTICAL OR HAND MADE. WHY ARE THEY JUST WEARING PANTS AND SHIRTS AND A COAT. WHY DO THEY HAVE HOODIES BUT NOT HATS. WHY DOES NO ONE WORKING ON WARDROBE ON THIS SHOW UNDERSTAND HOW WEATHER WORKS. Seriously they have sets in EVERY CLIMATE IMAGINABLE! How are they failing IN ALL OF THEM?

But no no, my favorite thing has to be Ygritte's beltbuckle. For the belt she keeps her dagger on. The belt she bought at the wildling store down the street.

WHY. THE FUCK. IS SHE WEARING. A BELT BUCKLE. >_< Ugh.

(Also, randomly in that scene Jon's comrade pulls out his sword, kills some dudes, and then puts his sword back in his scabbard. >__________< CLEAN THE FUCKING SWORD DUDE. Oh my god that moment was worse than when I when I watch movies where modern soldiers with M16 shoot them for a while and then just put the gun down and walk away/go to bed or whatever, without DISCHARGING THE GUN or whatever it's called in English to make sure there aren't any bullets lodged in there by mistake. OH MY GOD /o\ YOU NEVER EVER DO THAT. EVER. Safety rule #1! Same with this fucking sword - CLEAN THE FUCKING SWORD DUDE. It's easier to maintain than modern weapons! You're surrounded by snow! Just wipe it on something! ...I am unreasonably bothered by what appears to be poor training at supposedly legit military orders.)




PERFECT SCENE OF PERFECTION, AS ALWAYS. Cersei's relentless hatred, Tyrion's total WTF look of "are you serious". Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.



Ugh I'm conflicted about the mobbing scene. On the one hand I loved it and everything it chose to be in terms of Joffrey, Cersei, Tyrion, everyone. On the other hand they decided to indulge in some torture porn towards women and I really, really wanted to choke the life out of them for that because the ep was going SO GOOD OTHERWISE.






(First of all, let's give it up for Dany's wardrobe being reasonably OK and logical and functional for once! \o/)

I really, really love this scene, unexpectedly. Once again the show manages to take a storyline, reshape it, refocus it, retell the story slightly differently and make it 100% fascinating and impactful where the books were hit and miss. In short, WHAT I WANTED OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.

I love that the show gives me here what the books never could, because I was always stuck in Dany's POV. They give me the outsider view of Dany, they show me the vulnerable, fragile, determined, hopeful, desperate girl she is. They show me how much her might and her epic prowess are just these stories she tells herself. How, deep down you can see the traces of the other her. The girl who was born to nothing, whose family lost everything and was mostly murdered before she was born, who was raised in terrible, humiliating, uncertain circumstances by a brother who abused her, who was sold at 13 to a lord who bought her like a horse.

The Dany who could have easily ended her life there. Who could have been this damaged, fucked up, pathetic thing who spent her life in obscurity and then ended it as soon as her luck ran out, say when her husband took ill and died and/or she died giving birth at 14.

Suddenly in this scene you see how close Dany is to being that girl. How she IS that girl underneath, and the only thing keeping her from remembering that she has nothing, is no one, has no future, is these stories she keeps stubbornly telling herself. She's a princess, she has a birthright, the gods have chosen her, her dreams come true, her dragons are a sign she'll be queen one day.

There's such wonder in her voice, in this scene, when she talks about her dream coming true, as if this one fact is what's kept her from sinking into despair. As if she's not a well of strength and courage, as if she doesn't and has never had certainty in anything. As if she's just making it up as she goes along, because either she's the future queen of Westeros or she's a woman who should be long dead. You see Dany, for the first time, act a little surprised herself that she's survived this long. That she's still going. And you see her sort of desperately, perhaps childishly cling to these stories she must keep repeating, inside her own head if nowhere else, in lieu of killing herself with the weight of what her life has been.

It's easy to love Dany, I think, or at least it's easy for me, because she's by far the most classic, the most appealing woman on this show. She's a classic hero. She comes from nothing and nowhere and creates her own luck with nothing but fortitude and determination. And she's so young, she makes so many mistakes, but she's allowed to learn from them and get better, move on.

Unfortunately Dany's storyline is also steeped in so much racism and orientalism it makes liking her or rooting for her impossible. I have to mentally replace everything around her to actually be able to deal with the shitty worldbuilding/set up Martin's given her. And I mean, it never ends. It's just one racist, orientalist cliche after another. See also, the 3454th time the dude next to Dany's told us that he started from nothing being illiterate and having no shoes and blah blah oh my god /o\ Dany's ENTIRE STORYLINE is like that and just. WHY, MARTIN. WHY. I want to love Dany so much, I want to ENJOY her so much, and this shit is just... no. Oh my god, no.






UGH, FLAWLESS ARYA SCENES. A friend of mine mentioned how unlikely it is that Tywin is sharing so much of himself and his plans and whatever with a random cup bearer, let alone a Northern child but I actually think the show really pulled it off this time. They spend so much time establishing Tywin as being frustrated and annoyed, surrounded by people who aren't doing their jobs, aren't being efficient, running to catch up to Robb fucking Stark. I mean obviously Tywin doesn't have any other servants in this version (LOL. But honestly in this particular instance I'm willing to forgive them for the exaggeration) and he spends his whole day with this kid who seems to be smart and quick and well. I do buy this Tywin and I buy him sharing a few things with Arya.

I also like that they Tywin come to Harrenhall instead of the other dude who Arya served (wearing a dress, if I'm not mistaken!) originally. I think it's smart, efficient condensing of the book and I like that we get more time with Tywin and more information about him earlier on. Slowly we're beginning to piece together who this man is, what he believes and how he raised his children, how it's possible that the supposedly all powerful and filthy rich house of Lannister, run by a man as capable as Tywin, has been such an unholy mess in Cersei's generation.

I also love, LOVE LOVE LOVE Tywin talking about raising Jaime and Jaime's learning issues. I like it because it establishes Jaime as someone who was a good knight because he was averse to letters and numbers and books (unlike his brother Tyrion) but mostly because it sets up Jaime as... the unfortunate focus of Tywin's attention when the kids were growing up.

Because it was SO IMPORTANT to him that his perfect firstborn son is well, perfect. That he's literate and educated. If it had been Cersei or Tyrion who was having trouble learning you can bet whatever Tywin would come up with it wouldn't be taking 4 hours of his day to sit with the kid, for MONTHS. I mean, Tywin was a good dad! A really demanding, overbearing dad, but not bad overall. It's just that he was only really a father to ONE of his kids and it kind of backfired.




Sooo, I guess we've officially replaced That One Storyline Later On with this random chick, huh. OK let's break this down.

1. I am actually totally OK with this change theoretically (more on this later) BUT this particular characters as they've built her I just... what. WHAT. Let's leave aside the horrors of the last episode she was in where Robb Stark was having rousing conversations about the philosophy of war (and when I say rousing I mean shallow, boring and completely unrealistic) with a random commoner woman. Let's talk about this episode where it appears this random foreigner woman is... living in Robb's military camp? O______o hanging out with his soldiers? Who is even feeding her? What the fuck is she doing there? How does Robb not know there's a random woman hanging out in the midst of his men? WHAT THE FUCK.

And in addition to this she's a surgeon (clearly Robb's army doesn't have doctors?) and in addition to this she walks around with her long hair all loose, wearing a dress and cleavage (Robb's military camp is located in rape-free fantasyland), which in my mind makes Brianne side eye her SO HARD. Like, morons making this show: THE WHOLE POINT OF BRIANNE'S CHARACTER. IS THAT YOU HAVE TO BE A DUDE TO GO TO WAR. OR BE IN A MILITARY CAMP. WITH THE SOLDIERS. What the fuck are you doing bringing in a random chick to hang out there like it's no big deal?

(Of course Robb's military camp is also a place where in the middle of his war council his mom - who he hasn't seen in months - can just stroll in like OH HI WERE YOU BUSY HONEY? Robb Stark doesn't believe in posting guards or having a perimeter or like, maintaining some semblance of order when he goes to war. In fact I think he largely became popular with his men by abolishing guard duty all together.)

2. On the other hand, if I ignore this character's actual backstory, presentation, the fact that she's randomly a foreigner, her clothes, just... everything about her, I have to say I kind of like the idea of making her Robb's love interest. Like, I think this storyline for Robb in the books relies a lot on Robb being young and inexperienced and stupid and HONOR OMG HONOR and 100% Ned's son. Like in the book you're just like HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, ROBB. HOW. But he's like, barely 16 by book 3 so you forgive him (and blame his parents).

But this Robb is much more mature and is more Catelyn's son than Ned's. He's much, much wiser and more experienced and just plain OLDER than the Robb in the books, and I like the idea of him having this complicated relationship, where there's this girl he really likes, really gets along with, feels challenged by, etc (man they are giving Robb ALL the awesome relationships with women) and then also his duty to marry some girl he's never met who's spent her whole life in a castle with a creepy/abusive uncle/dad/whatever. I think it has the potential to be a far more complicated, interesting, nuanced storyline than Robb's storyline was in the books (especially Robb in the books was a very, very minor character and basically a younger copy of his dad). Of course, this show rarely follows up on potential, but I'm just saying. I'm not fundamentally against this choice.



Oh good, we're back to the land of no research. Jon Snow decides to take his own life and so chooses to go to sleep with no cover, no fire, no blankets and no equipment on frozen earth in the frozen mountains. The awesome power of his hair will defend him from predators, the wind, freezing temperatures, lack of food or water, and of course, his inability to tie his prisoner's hands behind her back, at the very least, nevermind immobilize her for the night rather than just letting her lie down randomly wrapped in wires. Research? What research?





Ahaha, I really like this scene, I love Shae and I love that she gets to talk to Sansa, I love that she comes to kind of really care for her (she only has Sansa and Tyrion to talk to, really, after all). But I have to admit that it's a bit jarring that we basically get book!Sansa in this scene, where before we've had the show play Sansa as far, far more mature and clever than this. I mean really, why do people hate you? YOU'RE THE KING'S BETROTHED! I loved Shae's line "your horse, it's worth more than their children." Perfect little scene.

Which, speaking of, are we never getting the scene of Sansa getting her period? EVER? I just. THAT IS POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE SCENE FROM BOOK 2 OK. Other than that all the cool stuff happens in book 3!

I'm sorry, I feel like this isn't a spoiler because we've passed the point in the plot of the books where they should have had it in the show? But just. DO THE CREATORS OF THIS SHOW KNOW why Sansa is Joffrey's fiance instead of his wife? BECAUSE SHE HASN'T BLED YET. She's ~not yet a woman~. Marriage is for babies and you can't have babies if you haven't gotten your period! The moment Sansa gets her period is the moment when they have to fucking HAVE THAT FUCKING WEDDING.

AND I WANT THAT SCENE. I want the scene of Sansa getting her first period, being TOTALLY FREAKED OUT, I want the scene of CERSEI DEALING WITH THAT SHIT because who else is going to? I JUST >_< THIS IS THE ONE SCENE. THE ONE.

FUCKING SHOW, of course you can have a billion scenes of rape and female nudity but the scene of SANSA'S ENTIRE BED BEING COVERED IN HER MENSTRUAL BLOOD is just ~TOO FUCKING FAR~ FOR YOU ISN'T IT. UGH $GH$%RT^H$



Um. O_______o So this scene was definitely not in the books! LOL. Dany never got her dragons stolen in Qarth! I... sort of want to applaud this show for pulling this kind of mindfuck and basically forcing people who have read the books to be in the same sitation as people who haven't because this storyline is... IDK WHERE IT'S GOING! And technically I am TOTALLY FOR THIS, I think it's a very cool twist and it can be resolved in interesting ways while still following Dany's overall storyline, but. I... am hesitant, as it is THIS FUCKING SHOW that fucking does everything terribly >_< we'll see.