marina: (don't leave me here)
Things have been so busy lately, I feel like I'm just trying to hold on and not fall off the ride.

My parents went on a trip and asked me to do a bunch of errands for them, and now that they're back I'm trying to get a bunch of errands done for myself, and also keep up with work and some semblance of a social life, and also go to rehearsals every weekend for about 8 hours, for a play that may or may not happen because you know, it'll be elections season and there's nothing like a nice little war to shuffle those cards.

Anyway, I keep seeing info about the heatwave in Europe and sending best wishes for all the friends currently having to deal with it. I love heat, but I have the luxury of A/C pretty much everywhere, so it's a very different experience.

(I did have fun though showing locals the news headline about Paris banning the sale of alcohol in public places for a certain time "because the hospitals were overloaded", and watching local friends try to figure out the logic that made those words go together. I don't think anyone around here has ever heard of any kind of restriction on alcohol - even just a recommendation not to drink it - due to heat, and we get major heatwaves every year, so it was just a total mystery. Figuring out the cultural differences that lead to those, well, differences, is really fascinating.)

*

In shows that I'm watching that I wouldn't necessarily recommend but are content that I'm consuming? Is Animal Kingdom. Yes, I've finally fallen into the fandom bandwagon that takes you directly from The Pitt to that show, where Abbot's actor worked for 6 years.

Look, it's a crime/action show from TNT, I am a very good audience for it. I love fast paced crime shows, I'm used to them having 10000% dudes in the cast (as this one does) and writing women poorly (as this one does). But at the same time it's weird to think this show ran for 6 seasons, had a cast of endless hot white dudes who are all semi-related to each other, was essentially about found family, has a main protagonist who is gay, and was not in any way on fandom's radar, lol.

I mean I know why! There are SO many TNT shows that are essentially this lol they are not ~meant~ for you and me, we are absolutely not the target audience. Still, it's so interesting to see in retrospect.

Abbot's actor is really good in it! And his character is spoilers )

*

In other news, a friend of a friend asked if she could give my number to a local journalist who's writing an article about fanfic for a national newspaper (connected to a new book that's coming in translation and started out as fanfic). I said sure, I'll talk to her. I've been sort of slowly contributing to fanfic ~education~ in the local lit scene in various ways, so. It's up my alley.

So we had an hour long conversation, and she seemed fairly knowledgeable already, not totally spot on with her information but not cringe-y either. Just someone who's probably read some fanfics but was never part of any kind of community aspect.

Anyway, she asked me if anyone I know who writes fic would be willing to answer a few question (in English) over email, so she can get a few more perspectives.

The email address and your name can be as anonymous as you want to make it. You can be from any country, and of course can decide which questions you want to answer, etc. The only condition is that you've posted fanfic publicly before, preferably at least 5 stories.

So, if you're interested in that, leave a comment either with your email address, or send the address to me privately on DW (let me know if you're not sure how to do that) and I'll pass it along. If you know of friends who'd want to do this and contribute to fanfic education in mainstream publications, feel free to point them my way.
marina: (Default)
1. I seem to have, tragically, read all the alpha/beta/omega fics that exist on AO3 for The Pitt. Or at least, all the fics that are within my reading parameters. Note, this is not ship-specific! I'm ship agnostic when it comes to this show. Anyway, this is a tragedy, I am very sad. It makes me want to write my own fic (other than the ones I've already written) just so there's more of that shit in the world.

2. I wrote a short story recently, for the first time since... many years. Definitely for the first time since 2019, probably more than that. But I sent it in to a local anthology and it got accepted. So it will be published, in print, later this year. I don't know where that puts me in relation to finding my way back to my own voice when it comes to original fiction, but it is happening. And it is nice.

Another thing that's nice is that I wrote this story in about 2 writing sessions, across 2 different days during the same week. Before, short stories used to take me on average 6 months. They were the woooorst. The shortest it ever took me, for a story I needed to submit purely for a technicality and that I knew I could "slack off" on, took about 2 weeks. That story will never see the light of day, and I'm totally OK with that lol.

So, mostly this feels like a huge achievement for me as a writer, that I've done so much practice with my original work that I'm now able to produce something "high quality" enough to get published within such a short time. It didn't start out this way! Despite being a born anxious pessimist reality keeps annoyingly proving to me that things can improve if you invest the time and effort.

3. They're having an actual Heated Rivalry party here this week - by which I mean, a nightclub is hosting a Heated Rivalry night - and I am actually considering going lol. The party starts at 11pm, which is normal! Except I'm 16-23 anymore, which is the age range when I was going to nightclubs in that format lolol It's just so rare to have a fandom event IRL like this, that is a draw. It's also nice that I told some coworkers about it lol. Like I don't know if any of us will come, but it's nice to have coworkers I can share this with.

4. Work is... in kind of a holding pattern. work )

5. I've watched so much TV lately, but of course my schedule is currently ruled by The Vampite Lestat. The absolute MASTERPIECE. I'm obsessed with this show and I've read zero fic for this show, which tells you all you need to know about how good the canon is. And I've been reading fic for this universe since I was a teenager!

spoilers for 3x01 )
marina: (Default)
Years ago, when Handmaid's Tale the TV show came out, I was living with a roommate who had a viewing party with friends every week. And when the show started airing they watched it every week, and I joined them, because it was an easy social activity where I never had to leave my own apartment.

I discovered through that experience that I apparently had a LOT more feelings about the original book (novella?) than I thought, because I had a LOT of feelings about how the show was doing things Wrong. It was tough for me to articulate why it bothered me so much, at the time, as the differences in S1 between book and show were still fairly subtle, but I decided the rest of the show wasn't worth my time, and felt very justified when it ended and I caught up on what they'd done with it all.

Anyway, all of which is to say, when The Testaments came out I was like - DEFINITELY reading that book! And then, the war in Ukraine, and October 7th, and another war, and another war, and another war... let's just say sinking into a fictional gender dystopia with bonus rape content on top was not something I really felt like doing.

So, the show came out, and I told myself I'd wait until I read the book. But I am very out of things to watch, and needed background noise for my day, and so started the first episode.

Boy howdy, if you ever need a form of entertainment know that you can watch an episode of The Testaments with me and I will pause about every 3 minutes and rant at you for like 20 minutes. For the entire episode. Guaranteed.

I can't say when this has EVER happened before, but legit the first 15 minutes of that episode annoyed me SO MUCH that I went and borrowed the book from the library ON THE SPOT and am now 25% into it, after less than a day (when I wasn't planning on having any reading time).

Do I ENJOY sinking into that particular one of Atwood's worlds? Not really, I'm still not mentally in a great place for it. But do I feel like I NEED her book so my braincells can recover from 15 minutes of the Hulu show? ABSOLUTELY.

My brain is basically treating it like medicine. Does it taste good? It does not, but we need to down it in one shot, as quickly as possible, so we can move on with our lives.

And yes, in case you were wondering, the medicine absolutely does work. How does that meme go? "Begone, you demons of stupidity"? That's me with that TV show.

*

I've been reading and enjoying so much The Pitt fic. Give me all the oldschool slash fics where it's just (presumably) straight dudes on a workplace show and then all of them being together in some combo or another.

1. Hot Under the Collar (85475 words) by itsflippinCJ
Chapters: 16/16
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker, Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker, Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, Jack Abbot/Dennis Whitaker
Summary: In which Dennis "I'm obviously just a beta with a really mild scent and a huge thing for Alphas" Whitaker is completely obsessed with his chief and the night shift attending, and it's all totally normal and completely ok and 100% Not A Problem.

I read this fic during the break between S1 and S2, it doesn't require any knowledge of S2 canon (or really more than a few episodes of S1 to understand who everyone is). Dennis is a beta who is actually an alpha, and Robby and Jack are alphas too, and this is 85k of my favorite sort of porn-is-plot writing. A++, stellar work.


2. In their eyes shall shine (6066 words) by Irrelevancy
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Summary:“You really think, after all we’ve seen together—hell, after all I’ve seen, you’ve got something crazy enough in your head that it’d scare me off?”

Now, this is VERY much a post S2 fic, but it's maybe my favorite one so far. It's medical kink, it's going into the deep end with Robby, it's exactly the dynamic I LOVE with him and Jack.


3. the taste of truth (16646 words) by Saturn
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Summary: “I haven’t had a heat since I was fourteen,” Robby said, not meeting Jack’s eyes. “Never planned to again, but today…” He shrugged. “I guess today was too much. Game over.” Robby has his first heat in 40 years, after his suppressants fail. He can’t hide who he is anymore, but the last thing he wants is an Alpha.

OK, so, I could honestly just send you to read all of Saturn's fics and that would be its own reclist, but this is the first one read (because of course I started from the omega-verse). This is post S1, and it's wonderful and lovely and again dynamics I absolutely love and spot-on voices and just, everything.


4. save me, serve you (26213 words) by sweetsabbatical
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker, Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker, Jack Abbot/Dennis Whitaker
Summary: Everyone presents around the time they come to adulthood as either Dominant or Submissive. Dominants and Submissives alike require regular domination or submission to keep their hormone levels in check. Submissives are especially vulnerable to sickness if they do not enter subspace on a regular basis. Hucklerabbot biological BDSM AU.

Look, this is a WIP, I have no idea whether it'll ever be continued or finished, and I generally don't rec WIPs. However these types of AUs are so rare these days, and this one is really fun imo, and there's already 26K of it, and I don't feel like the chapters end in cliffhangers, so. I really enjoyed this, and if you're into these kinds of AUs you deserve to know this one exists lol


5. sweet sounds coming down (7827 words) by Saturn
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/John Shen (The Pitt)
Summary: “Hey, thanks,” Abbot said, picking up the coffee cup. “Even if it’s a self-serving gesture, I appreciate it.” He gave John a wide grin—one that went all the way up to his eyes, highlighting his crow's feet—and John’s belly fluttered in response. He could practically feel his heart beating in his chest, and his palms were suddenly clammy.

Have I mentioned how great Saturn's fics are? SO GREAT. This one is Jack Abbot/John Shen and I enjoyed it a lot. I love the idea of them on the night shift together, I think it teases out a really interesting and different dynamic for Abbot that he doesn't get with Robby or Whitaker, and I wish to read more fics for this pairing.


6. Your Husband wants a Taste (15105 words) by AHumbleFan
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker, Jack Abbot/Dennis Whitaker, Michael "Robby" Robinavitch/Dennis Whitaker
Summary: Dennis Whitaker and Dr. Robby have an arrangement. After a little slip-up while on the job, Dr. Robby becomes aware of Dennis's situation. He can't afford the expensive price tag that comes with blood bags, and he can't remember the last time he's had a proper meal. Who would Dr. Robby be if he didn't lend a hand to his favorite vampire? Besides, it benefits both of them in more ways than one.

So, this fic really threw me for a loop. I read the summary on AO3 and skimmed the tags, and the fic turned out to be completely different than what I'd assumed. So, definitely read all the tags and summary carefully! Do not make my mistake! LOL but even though this has several tropes I usually avoid this ended up being a fun read that I'd recommend. Dennis is a vampire, Jack and Robby are werewolves and alphas, there's a whole load of worldbuilding and kink, and there's a second fic in this series as well.


7. let me look at you (3903 words) by Saturn, amalli
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Summary: Before Robby can think better of it, the edge of his buzz hanging on, he adds to his text message, Can’t even get myself off the way I used to. He stares at his phone, at the reckless message he sent, his body heating, watching the dots on his phone pulse as Jack types a response.

Again SATURN. But honestly, if you only read 1 Robby/Jack fic, let it be this one. Where at no point are they in the same room together! LOLOL but seriously it's so spot on, so fun, such a great "is it a relationship if your friend is helping you to get off???" fic, just, fantastic.


8. wolf's bane (20112 words) by astrifere
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Frank Langdon, Frank Langdon/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, Jack Abbot/Frank Langdon/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Summary: Nothing is a secret in the Pitt for long—it’s a miracle he’s kept it under wraps for this long, despite the near-deadly dose of preternate inhibitors he’d had in his system for nearly a decade. Yeah. His physician at rehab had had a thing or two to say about that. So, here Frank is: emergency med resident, recovering addict, recent divorcee, and not-so-secret wolfshifter.

A Langdon/Robby/Jack fic appears! Definitely a post S2 story, that basically gave me everything I wanted from the Robby/Langdon dynamic, with bonus Jack on top. Also normally I skip stories where being an alpha or a werewolf or whatever involves actually shifting into an animal, but I gave this one a shot and it didn't disappoint.
marina: (amused Godric)
On the personal front, I've been low-grade sick for a while. health stuff )

*

So, I watched S2 of The Pitt and I have thoughts. A lot of them are thinky thoughts about meta narratives and, because I enjoy the show so much, where I think it does poorly, so you know. FYI this is the content below the cut.

spoilers for The Pitt S2 )
marina: (Default)
Things in no particular order

things )

*

Things are still hard, and they suck, but it's warmer and there are no missiles flying at my house and I'm cautiously optimistic about coming back to work tomorrow and well. I hope your days are good, friends.
marina: (burn shit down)
Have things gotten better? They have not.

the good and the bad )

*

Somehow, in the middle of this madness, [personal profile] roga and I have managed to take a trip. We were originally supposed to go on an organized trip that got canceled because missiles, but we already had a day off from work and we ended up booking a hotel by the sea for 1 night.

The hotel is in a region that gets far fewer missiles (less of a strategic target), and though I can't say I got much sleep on this trip it was still amazing to just... not be in my house? Not have to do endless dishes and laundry? Just wake up by the sea and have breakfast by the sea.

We drove 10 mins to a nearby picturesque town and went around the few shops that were open (making sure we know where the nearest bomb shelter is at all times of course). We went to a little museum by the hotel that randomly had a bunch of military equipment Napoleon dumped into the sea after the failed siege of Acre.

I posted some photos on Bluesky.

It was just 1 day off work, and just 1 night away, and almost the entire time it was raining and cold. We were woken up by a missile alert (the kind that SCREAMS at you from your phone using those natural disaster overrides, but only means there COULD be a missile headed your way, not to be confused with a siren) at 2am, and when roga didn't answer a text or a call I put on my warmest coat and boots and ran over to knock on her door, just to make sure she was awake if there WAS a srein and we suddenly needed to run to the hotel bomb shelter in less than 90 seconds.

I was on my period and taking painkillers basically the whole time.

And still it was so nice to do that. It helped so much. Just one small breath of fresh air.
marina: (NO.)
Things that are making me happy at this current time. I want to talk about them.

Things are still very not OK, I'm still barely keeping it together most days. Everything is Very Bad. But. I want to talk about happy things.

*

books and tv shows )
marina: (Default)
So, I am not well.

I've had some really intense days, between work being extremely busy and other responsibilities, and today, a Saturday, was supposed to be my day off. Properly off, off. Sleep in late, zero plans except to wash my hair and tidy up around the apartment. Watch TV, maybe write a little, cuddle in bed. Rest.

Instead I was woken up at 8:26am by a missile siren.

Those sirens haven't stopped so far, it's currently about 7pm. At some point I stopped counting how many there were. On average there have been about one every 20-30 minutes for me, since the first one. Which means in the morning there were about 1.5 hours of quiet, and then there were hours in the afternoon with a siren every 10 minutes.

I say siren, but of course what I mean is I hear massive explosions happening in the air above my building. I can't go downstairs, nevermind for a walk, because of how frequent it's been, and how genuinely scary.

For the past ~six months I've been walking past destroyed city blocks several times a week, on my way to catch a tram to work. Entire streets with houses wiped out completely, apartment complexes reduced to rubble. And then a radius of many more streets with "only" shattered windows, knocked out doors, cracked walls from the shockwaves. Building after building after building. Turn after turn after turn. Until I get to the tram station, and then ride for 30 minutes to the skyscraper where I work, that stands next to the ruins of another skyscraper, that was destroyed by a missile.

I'm not good in the mornings, I don't eat dinner most days, my meals are breakfast and lunch. So I wake up hungry and need to eat something as soon as possible to start functioning.

Because today was planned as slow and lazy, I didn't think I'd need to function quickly at all. I thought I'd lazy about in bed, and then slowly assemble food depending on my level of energy.

Instead I had to hop out of bed and run to a bomb shelter. The bomb shelter that's in my house, that will not actually protect me in any way in case of a direct hit (see destroyed buildings above) but will help in case of a shockwave.

I was so exhausted afterwards I collapsed in bed. And then another siren. After that one I knew I had no choice, I HAD to eat or I was going to start collapsing. But I wasn't capable of cooking. Of course, there's no food delivery, because bombs falling from the sky.

I managed to at least change out of my PJs and make tea, and then the third siren happened.

The tea - green, fresh leaves, the very finest kind I have, from a small company that imports directly from farmers in China, because I knew this was the small effort that would make all the difference today, rather than some emergency teabag - did help me focus a bit, at least. Feel a bit more human.

After the fourth siren I knew cooking was out of the question, and rifled through the mishloakh manot I got from work yesterday (how fortunate we had our work event before the holiday itself) for any sort of candy with substance. There was a chocolate wafer snack, so that's what I ate, and then tried to move on with my day.

Which is to say with trying to do something other than just cuddle in bed and run to the shelter every time there was a siren (as there were a lot).

I felt... bad. Generally nauseous, unfocused, slightly out of breath. Exhausted, even when I was watching stuff on TV from the couch.

I tried to cling to some kind of productivity. I emptied and refilled the dishwasher. I put on laundry. I thanked all the gods above and below that I happened to already have food in the fridge for lunch, even though just heating it up turned out to be a challenge. It took 3 tries, with different sirens.

I only ate lunch when I started to feel like I was about to faint. Before that it was hard to make myself heat up food, or think about eating. Everything is just so scattered in my head.

It's time for dinner now, since I didn't really have breakfast.

Even though I know I should just try to go to sleep. I'm sure there will be endless sirens in the night. If an hour goes by without one, I'll be surprised.

I'm feeling faint and weak again but there's no energy to cook and no food delivery, of course. It took 2 sirens for me to boil a few eggs. Once they cool down I'll do that. I need to think about tomorrow's breakfast as well.

Tomorrow is work. The schools and so on are closed, but I work in tech and the company is global and our survival - my paycheck, my ability to stay afloat - depends on everyone believing our productivity is unaffected by these events.

So, work from home as usual. Half my local coworkers were 100% working from home anyway because Ramadan, so in a way it's all business as usual.

I know I need to take care of myself. Food. Cooking. Seeing people, even though travel anywhere including to a neighboring building is impossible right now. Creating a more or less correct estimation of how functional I can be at work so I can make decisions based on that.

Not doing well, and didn't actually want to write this post. Instead, want to write about the things that make me happy. Media, mostly, but also fic.

But I can't because just writing this, which has seemingly spilled out of me unbidden, has been to much effort and energy, and I need to go rest now.
marina: (burn shit down)
This post has been brewing for a while, and I guess I'm finally going to just write it down, even though it doesn't feel "complete" or fully processed or anything of the sort. But it probably never will be. So, this is as coherent as it's going to get.

long text under the cut )
marina: (on the moon)
I've officially completed all my birthday activities for this year, so I can like, breathe again.

There was recreational axe throwing, joint TV marathons, dinners, gifts and hugs. I chose not to have any kind of party or gathering this year, so just saw friends individually or in small groups, and it worked out OK. I also celebrated [personal profile] roga's birthday (and will continue to tomorrow), so it all kind of worked out with multiple events.

How have you been doing, friends?

I'm feeling a bit better than I hoped to, at this time of the year.


ETA: I have cautiously started looking at social media again, in very very limited quantities, and as twitter seems like... not the place, I now have a bluesky. IDK IDK. But if you're on there I may also be on there sometimes too I guess.
marina: (don't leave me here)
This was supposed to be a Heated Rivalry Part 2 post but I had the good sense to realize I won't have the time to finish writing it in the 20 minutes I have until I have to go to bed, so, it shall remain on my mental to-do list. Have this random things post instead.

work stuff )

*

A have a friend who's a big Critical Roll fan, so thanks to her I watched the Vox Machina show with very detailed commentary and handholding through the parts I found boring and disappointing (all the straight romance).

That friend is currently busy taking care of a newborn, but she did strongly recommend I watch The Mighty Nein, the next campaign from the same bunch to be turned into an animated show, and I have to say her predictions were spot on because I absolutely loved spoilers )

*

Man I have a birthday this week and it's been... rough. I have a lot of baggage around my birthday, probably will for the rest of my life, but in past years I managed to really develop good coping mechanisms and techniques. And this year, for various reasons, it's just all crumbled to nothing.

This whole week is gonna be at my peak terrible mental health. Cried to [personal profile] roga on the phone about logistics, like a totally normal person. Unable to answer any questions from relatives about what I want to do this weekend. Stressing out everyone and getting stressed out myself in return. Just really good times. If you happen to be one of the people who has no baggage around celebrating your birthday (I know these people exist! I have met them!) please send those vibes my way.
marina: (Erik's got his helmet on)
I usually try to get my end-of-year post in before Jan 1st, but this year I made my peace with the fact that it'll come after.

Mostly because I already know this new year will be hard. Personally and otherwise, it will be a difficult time, I have no illusions about that.

But, a year ago things were so much worse. Personally and otherwise.

I was unemployed, extremely broke, sick for a prolonged period of time, there was one more war directly affecting me than there is today, and mostly all of those things seemed endless. There was no expiration date, no way to budget mental or physical or financial resources. It was all just survival mode.

But this year... this year on Dec 31st I had a job. A job I actually took time off from to celebrate novyi god. A salary! Coworkers I like, a really good boss.

This year a close friend just had a baby. Another close friend is due in the summer. A niece will be born within the next month or so. My family tree is weird but this one will be as close as I get to being a "real" aunt.

The world is full of horrors, but there's one less war. One less fucking war.

Last year I felt mostly helpless, and voiceless, and like there was no place for me in the communities I grew up in. I haven't talked about that yet, not anywhere, I think I'm still processing it. But this year I feel less helpless and more angry and disillusioned. Which may not sounds like it's any better? lol but it means I have more of a sense of control over my life, which is a good thing.

And of course, everything old is new again, with the hottest fandom right now being a Sid/Ovi secretly-fucking-all-along fic.

Everything still feels so fragile, so brittle. Like I said, this year will be difficult, I already know that. But it's still so much better, already, than the situation I was in last year.

I painted my nails a festive color, with holiday themed stickers. I got my loved ones presents on time. I am... mostly mentally coping with my upcoming birthday.

May you be the light and receive the light, friends. Thank you for being here for another moment, another year, another tiny lifetime.

S novym godom.
marina: (pretty boys)
So, I've been stuck at home for 3 weeks now with a broken ankle. I've watched so much TV. SO. MUCH. TV. Some of it utterly delightful ("The Summer I Turned Pretty", "Queen of the South"), some of it utterly forgettable. Then "Heated Rivalry" came out, and due to the tragic circumstances of being stuck at home, I've watched the first 2 episodes. Let us acknowledge this up front: I should have only watched this show after it finished airing. Like, week-to-week is a very bad format for me with this show.

However, episodes have been consumed, this show is already doing numbers in fannish circles for obvious reasons, my guess is that that trend will continue, and so I need to get stuff off my chest I guess. Think of this not as a public statement but more as a private space where I process stuff, just for the sake of framing the below.

thoughts in no particular order )
marina: (NO.)
An exciting update since my last post: I broke my ankle! *facepalm*

anatomy of a work accident )
marina: (Default)
I keep meaning to write about nice things, hopeful things, but instead things at work improved and then deteriorated in this very bizarre, time limited way. I find myself thinking my biggest obstacle at work is actually my own psyche, my own issues and complexes and anxiety, and trying to work through that. So, some meandering navel gazing.

work clusterfuck mostly )
marina: (don't leave me here)
A life update in no particular order:

depressing things )

- My one shred of Nice Things. Before leaving my wonderful supportive boss got me a little vacation time over the holidays. So, this is by no means advisable (but neither is living through *gestures at the news*), but I'm going to be in London in the middle of September.

So, let me know if you:

- would like to meet in London
- would like to meet in some other part of England?? I don't think I'll make it up to Scotland but I could maybe do a daytrip somewhere outside of London
- Would like to meet in Paris? (I haven't been back there since I was 12 and am vaguely considering for that to be my daytrip)
marina: (Erik's got his helmet on)
Welp, I've started a new job! It has happened!

boring financial things )

*

I've only had 1 day of work at the new place, due to holidays and the fact that I was sick for the past 10 days (boo!!!) and asked to postpone my start date by a few days.

But it definitely feels like a level of fancy tech that I've never personally experienced before, with an actual HR department that made sure I'd have all my equipment ready for me on the first day, and a little welcome sign, and some company merch.

There are things I definitely haven't figured out yet, like how to best get to the office to deal with my disability/health issues, especially considering the fact that the laptop I got is much heavier than anticipated (my previous company replaced some of the laptops shortly after I joined and I managed to get in on the deal and get a really great, light computer).

The office itself is really nice, even though the building is sadly in the middle of a construction zone. My previous work was in an extremely central downtown area where you were close to a bunch of greenery and shops and restaurants. This place is tragically kind of isolated in a sea of dust and hazard signs.

I haven't figured out the dynamics of my team/department/org so much yet, but everyone I've met has been nice, and my boss seems to be a pretty great guy, according to reports. He's also been nothing but kind and respectful towards me.

So, overall first day was pretty overwhelming but nice. Tomorrow will be my first day of work-from-home, and I plan to spend most of it reading a ton of documents. And then Tuesday we're having some kind of all-day workshop for the entire team that means I'll need to get super early to the office, even though the workshop will be virtual. But you know, if it wasn't literally my first week I might find a more sensible way to do it, but since I'm extremely new and this seems to be the expectation, I'll be there with bells on lol.

June 2026

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