MeLiSSa o_O

‎Papa Roach always reminds me why they're my favorite band..they are one of the few bands who stays who they are, but are able to grow and evolve and create fresh new music every time. I'll admit I downloaded the leak of the new songs, but it's because I can't wait any longer to hear these songs. they're amazing. so good. if Walmart would sell explicit albums, I'd be getting it right at midnight on the night of the 30th.

Time for Annihilation in stores August 31st

so me and Pete are paying for our wedding ourselves and need to start saving now so it doesn't take 5 years to get married...so we made a paypal account for donations for anyone to help out. anything is appreciated and helps, even a few dollars here and there. so if you'd like to help us, send donations to PeteAndMelissaWedding@yahoo.com thanks guys!!

so right now I'm just kickin it, relaxing to all hell. my body is sore. today I moved out of my house [this was just decided sunday! lol one week! yeesh!] and moved my sister in, AND then moved into my new place. pretty exciting..I'm really happy right now and I really just want to sleep. I was supposed to have off tomorrow from work, but I've gotta go in for 3 hours [gay!] to get my assistant manager keys. uhmm..blah blah blah..the house is a mess right now but I'm watching ZIM and it's all good. I suddenly have a desire to draw something. not a real drawing..not a portrait or anything..just do some coloring or something. I kinda just want to sleep. lol


either way, I'm all moved in and almost settled in the next few days. then Papa Roach on friday, costume partyyy. I'm going to be batgirl and Pete is gonna be a Star Trek dude. haha whatta nerd ;] I'm excited to introduce him to Papa Roach and update the guys on what's been going on. I haven't seen them since Washington DC in May.

I'm gonna go seepybye now! byeeee

there is just one thing I seriously love and appreciate right now. :]

so anyways...my life has been thrown into a blender this past month..well..I guess all of July. I dunno who even reads this anymore..but whatever I'll put it out there lol. I've gone through and told this story so many times already, so this'll probably be the semi condensed version..blah.

I'm getting a divorce. now before you say 'awww..omg I'm sorry!' I'm gonna tell you that I'm happy and okay..and it was basically mutual. basically, I've been manipulated and controlled, and talked down to, and blah blah blah..all of that awesome crap, for the last 5 years and some months. I've been lied to for OVER 5 years..by an actor, thief, husband. I left only two months into the marriage, but came back...then about a year ago...he left...but begged him to come back...this time...I'm not doing it any more. it's over..and I'm happy about it. I think me gaining independence from him with my job and my friends, scared the crap out of him because he was losing his control over me

how it happened/all went down...well..I wrote an email to my mom saying I don't want this anymore..he snooped my computer...and used that as an excuse to leave...HOWEVER, looking back, I realize that days before I even wrote the email, he was gathering up his stuff [which, at the time, I wrote off as getting cleaned up for my grandparents moving here.] SO..that leads me to believe he was planning on just up and leaving me high and dry before he even knew I was done. Thursday July 30th, I woke up to go to work [he was at work] and I noticed allll of his stuff was packed up in boxes..even current clothes that he wears and cds bought in the last few weeks..that night, I decided I wasn't going to come home, and stayed with a friend. I dropped off the car and texting him saying "I'm not coming home tonight, I dropped the car off at Kroger so you can get to work in the morning" that's it. he used that as an opportunity to take it as I was being horrible and disrespectful to him..which is funny because all I said was I'm not coming home. I could have been going to my sister's, I could have just been helping someone..ya know? I didn't say EFF YOU I'M LEAVING YOU BLAH BLAH. so whatever.

he was gone the next day..thankfully nothing of mine was missing [besides all of the stuff he's sold over the years without telling me....like about half of my wardrobe, that, more specifically, was all of the clothes that I didn't wear but wanted to keep for sentimental reasons or to give to my future kids...along with other stuff I've been looking for lately.] and no parts of the house were trashed. his computer is wiped out and windows has been reinstalled [which is interesting as well, as I've always thought he could hardly copy paste anything] so who knows what he was hiding on there. he took the car we just bought [it's fully in his name]

so as of Aug 1, 2009..I'm single [the divorce will come as soon as I can afford it, or if he files first] I wish it could be done before my birthday because my drivers license expires that day, and I'd like to be able to get my new license as Melissa Kott. I'm staying in bloomington in the house. it's not like it's much different living alone, since I would sit home alone for hours while he worked..then we'd be on the computers for like an hour, and he'd go to sleep..so it's not really diff. lol I'm a supervisor at work, I'm getting a black PT Cruiser with cd and a sunroof [OMG SO EXCITED lol] on saturday after work...then I'm headed to see Papa Roach which is gonna rock. I've got friends here, a pretty good job, a car, a house, now my grandparents live across the street..my life is just going to continue how it was going, but I'm going to be happy all the time! yay. lol I have someone that cares about me and I care back for them....who I'm not going to rush anything with...rushing is something I've learned to never do again! lol everything is great :]


so yes. that's what's going on with me! haha. and yes...that was the semi condensed version :D

my head is spinning.

Anyone have any SFX hair dye??

I'm looking to dye my hair rainbow next week or so...but I need some Special Effects hair dye...there's no way I can buy 5 new bottles of it, so I'm looking for any extra/used bottles of Special Effects dye that you'd be willing to send me? lol

I need
red
orange
yellow
green
blue

and possibly pink and fishbowl...but mostly the colors above.

I'm going for this kinda look:





let me know! thank youuuuu

my sugar must be high cuz I'm getting emo. hahha I'm sure it is since I've eaten like almost a whole loaf of bread today. [damn you chocolate spread stuff!]


this past weekend has made me all emo about living in the middle of no where and having no friends to do stuff with.

-hanging out with Rachel was way awesome, and it was really the first time I'd been to Papa Roach shows with a fellow Papa Roach fan [kelly doesn't count. he likes them but he doesn't like rock out and stuff, you know what I mean.] it felt good. I liked going and getting food with her, and just walking around with her.

-seeing Madina Lake again after over a year was so good. I really do miss seeing them like 2-5 times a month like I used to back in the day.

-seeing Papa Roach is always good...something about these shows makes me feel closer with Jerry...we kinda talked a lot these shows, and when I started feeling weird during the show, and him worrying about me and asking if I was okay while he was playing..I dunno..kinda made me feel like our relationship has definitely moved up to actual friendship and stuff. maybe I'm strange. it's just cool to know that someone I care about a bunch is confirming to me that I'm more than just a fan to him. ionno. oh and I thought it was neat that Tony called me Busta, cuz for some reason, I don't really know why he would actually know that's my name hahah. and Tobin still talking about my pictures and stuff...lol. I guess I just didn't realize how much any of those guys actually know/think about me

-seeing Davey Sprockets is kinda hitting me the hardest. not sure why [lol don't take that the wrong way dave hahahha] I feel like we've gotten to be quite good friends over the last few months and we're like, being robbed of being able to see each other lolll. I think he and his music remind me a lot of like 2001, when I had a huge circle of friends that spent hours and hours together every day..the favorite time of my life. I really care about him and wish we could hang out more than we can.


I think people wonder why I'm constantly online..and texting, and IMing, and needing to have aim and internet and texting on my phone always...it's because I loveeee people. I love the people I love with all my heart and, because they live all over the damn world [thank you internet], it's all I have to keep my relationships with them. my best friends live in Ohio, Maryland, England, California, Illinois, New Jersey...none of which are near by. lol

I've lived in Bloomington for 2 years, and I have two friends outside of anyone I met working. I've never hung out with them outside saying hi when we've run into each other or come in while either of us are working. the only other people I know are coworkers or ex-coworkers..which is fine...but I only see them when I work really. none of our relationships are outside. most I've done with any of them was had a sandwich with Benjamin [who I haven't seen in forever] and walk around the mall a little with and get a ride up to Indy from Adam. I love Kelly, and I love being married and always having him to do stuff with, but it's just hard on me to not have any friends to hang out with. ugh..I could keep going, but I suppose I should shush now. lol.

okay..so today was stressful as hell!!

first, Paypal put a damn HOLD on my money from the dvd player! I cried!! lmao. so after a bunch of talking with my parents, my dad ended up sending me $50 to make up for the hold [so I'll send him back the held money when its released]
then, I get to the post office to send off the dvd player, and find out they don't HAVE small flat rate boxes....so I had to pay an extra like, $2.50 in shipping that I didn't charge the person for..
then, we go to eat and I chomp on my lip, and it hurts a bunch haha..by this time it's 8 o'clock, the mall closes at 9...and the rest of the money my mom sent for our anniversary hasn't cleared yet..we go to target to get Rhythm Heaven anyways and I just assume I'll have to go to gamestop tomorrow...but then I check paypal again, and there's the money!! yayyy...*does happy dance in target*
so then, we go to gamestop, they grab me a new red ds, trade in all my games and stuff, and it comes out to be like 90 something dollars??? and I'm like whoawhoa what? what happened to the 30% trade in bonus?? oh that ended yesterday. STORY OF MY LIFE. UGH...after all that...no new ds for me x] but luckily they had a used red one that's really only been played "2 or 3 times" and it looks pretty great. the top is flawless, and there's only a little wear on the screen otherwise it seems basically brand new. I'm glad I got that new stylus in the case I got, cuz the one it came with was all old and didn't stay in the ds. I think I'm going to name it Shelia, and I can't decide if I want to taint it yet with a Madina Lake robot sticker...it'll fit perfect if I do it though lol.
then my luck began to change!! we left gamestop with my new game in tow, and we're going to walk down to the puppy store, and what do I see on the ground? a $10 bill! woot! that makes up for the extra I had to pay in shipping, and helped with my agony hahaha.

so now everything is going good..I've got my game..my wisdom tooth is coming in all funky and decided to hurt today...HERE IT IS!


but anyways!! that was my crazy day! tomorrow, packing day...wednesday, finish packing and redye my hair. then HEAD ON OUT :DDDDD

well there went my respect.....
I'm obviously team JJT, but I've always kinda hung in there for Dave, understanding where he was coming from with the lawsuit...

I just talked to the guy the other day, he remembered who I was, he told me how he's expecting a baby...it was really nice....

but now I think all of that flew out the window and I just want to say what a big fat fucking douchenozzle he is now..

he posted this article http://www.dallasobserver.com/2009… citing that it's "the real deal about why i'm no longer in papa roach" and then continued to say this:



he's also said in the last few days "Qyestion: if yr 3 "best friends" kicked you while you were down, stabbed you in the back, then tried to rob you just to try and get ahead in business... What would you do? Answer: you stand up, handle your shit, move on, and let karma take care of the rest. That's what you should do."

okay...doesn't that 1. contradict itself, obviously Jacoby Jerry and Tony are moving on and being the bigger person, never trashed you anywhere, aren't talking about you, wishing you no ill will....well what are you doing? obviously you haven't moved on.
and 2. doesn't that completely alienate a bunch of people? I know it made me feel uncomfortable when I read it. what about Eddie and Greg? what about the Papa Roach fans who are still fans of yours that are following you...I'm guessing you probably just pissed them off too.

I'm just so thrown off....wtf?


[[EDIT::]] and then I wake up to him saying this:
I've said and done some pretty stupid shit in the past, I admit. I was also drunk and on drugs... I don't know what tobin's excuse is...
Alright, i've calmed down... Plus i don't need to WASTE my energy on idiots...


I'm still waiting for him to "stand up, handle your shit, move on, and let karma take care of the rest"