Watching this movie about the most dangerous human predators like a pretty IDF sniper, Cartel enforcer and Air Cav soldier getting abducted to a game preserve where they fight predators and thinking about Mean Girl's Regina George, the ultimate *social* predator, added to the mix.
"How many of you Yakuza assassins and Boko Haram warlords have felt personally victimized by Regina George?"
*hands slowly go up until every hand is raised*
<beat>
*a Predator's hand goes up in the background*
(with apologies to Neal Stephenson)
Until a film-bro is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could make the baddest motherfucking film in the world.
"Yeah," he thinks "I could get together every titan of action movies, stage not one not two but three insane action setpieces that would be the final act of other movies but are just the filler in this one. I could do it, me, a film-bro"
That movie, however, can no longer be made. Chad Stahelski has made it.
A sequel nearly 30 years after the original, with the only returning character being a two-second cameo in the opening scene by the little computer devices. This clearly only got greenlit because it was a legacy sequel but does anyone give a shit about CGI wind?
Shcokingly bloodless and immensely chaste, even compared to the original, TWISTERS barely has any life to it at all. Tyler's 'Tornado Influencer' schtick is dropped almost immediately when it could have been integrated in…
I so distinctly remember the white clamshell this VHS was in, I played this all the time as a kid. Thought about it again while I had two hours to kill and popped it on.
It sort of hold up. It's definitely a kids movie, not a family movie. There's lots of corny jokes and improbable reactions from some very serious people like gangsters and military brass, and poor Liz (correction, Doctor Liz) has nothing to do with her PhD…
I don't give up on movies often, even bad ones, because I think if you make a movie, you've earned the respect of the viewer to see it through. That said, I threw my hands up at this GLACIALLY-PACED snorefest. It's a 30m short film that added 200% more filler than meat, and it shows. The look and feel is pitch-perfect, but it's in service of a terrible nothing script.
