You're sixteen and the hero of your story. At sixteen, you haven't quite figured out that each and every one of us is the hero of our own story.

Here's sixteen-year-old, Jenny (Carey Mulligan) and she's an intelligent, bright, university-bound student who also loves French films and jazz and art and classical music. One rainy day, an older man named David (Peter Sarsgaard) pulls his car up alongside her and offers to give her cello a lift because of course,…

How have I not seen this film before? How?

Cléo (Corinne Marchand) is waiting on cancer biopsy test results. For two consecutive hours, she waits.

I have been in this position, albeit not for cancer. I have been stuck waiting for the scary test results where your options are probably at best, something that is going to put you through hell and turn your life upside down for an indefinite period of time or at worst, will kill you. And…

There is a much more interesting biopic about Sonja Henie out there somewhere. You won't find it here. Kind of like the overblown film Babylon, there's a weird modernism throughout the whole thing. Maybe that came from budget reasons? Maybe they couldn't afford to recreate newsreels or to get the period stuff correct? I don't know. Maybe they just don't trust contemporary audiences. Who knows?

What I do know is that the screenplay glosses over Henie's rather complicated history with…

Ruth (Jane Wyman) is on her way to becoming a spinster when one day Art (Van Johnson), a young soldier sorta picks her up. Despite her mother (Josephine Hutchinson) who has sworn off all men ever since her husband did a disappearing act, Ruth and Art fall in love.

Okay, right there this doesn’t sound too promising. Van Johnson was a pleasant, good looking guy and that was about it. Jane Wyman was sometimes not great and it all sounds…

This is a hot mess.

Bette Davis plays Janet Frobisher, a mystery novelist, who's living in a country house someplace remote in England. There are moors so I'm guessing it's Yorkshire, but my knowledge of English geography is slight. Anyhow, she's got some big problems.

1. Her husband, from whom she's been estranged for years, is lying dead in her study.
2. Her dead husband was engaged in some kind of criminal activity with George Bates (Gary Merrill).
3. George…