A bunch of pot-bellied, aging Italian yinzers standing around a kitchen table covered with 100 pounds of ground pork butt while one of them scoops heaps of seasoning mix in from a giant plastic DC Extended Universe collectible popcorn bucket... this is what Fellini meant when he said cinema speaks in the language of dreams
No sinking feeling quite like watching the seventh movie in the Leprechaun series and the first thing you see is the WWE logo
I was rarely entertained, but often fascinated, by this extremely lore-dense dive into the Shining Time Station evolution of the Thomas & Friends universe, which never makes any goddamn sense and yet features Alec Baldwin delivering a comedic performance every bit as assured and committed as he'd later bring to 30 Rock. Unfortunately we're quite far from getting any Robert Carlock-level punchlines here, but credit where it's due: whether talking into a phone made of bellflowers, fretting over his weakening "sparkle,"…
It's amazing that this movie doesn't crack the top twenty for reasons why Ronald Reagan is burning in hell.
I'd love to see a version of this movie that ditches the Teen Sex Comedy 101 earnestness with Devon Sawa & Jaime King's characters and devotes itself more fully to the incredibly weird stuff going on with Jason Schwartzman's character & performance and all the weird, surreal stuff happening on the edges. There's a kind of Wet Hot American Summer/The Cable Guy hybrid to be had in there somewhere.
I feel like the movie we did get is probably objectively bad, but…
