How’d I know the answer to that question? Well, one day as a child I was eating my daily meal of rocks and dirt, when suddenly a Molotov cocktail came through our window. Just before it exploded and evaporated my baby sisters face, I noticed some writing on the bottle that said it was from a farm in Marseille. As the fire grew and the screams of the newborn fell silent, I realized shards from the bottle had shot through…

The entirety of my aesthetic taste and majority of my subjective interests are contained within these 103 minutes. I guess I’ll actually talk about Fishburne’s performance a little bit this time since I’m yet to do so. It’s a firework. A loud, brash explosion. I think what I’m so obsessed with is the obvious internal dramaturgy of this guy. It’s so calculated. You want him to look and act like this. He understands that. He likes the fact that he…

Huh, that couch is weird. I’ll go ahead and keep walking I guess. That STOP sign is spelled backwards, probably why they took it off the street. Let’s see, more furniture. Oh Jesus a lot more furniture. Okay, little door with 3 regular sized door knobs, that’s also kinda furniture. Are fixtures furniture? I guess it’s more of an adjacent thing. Hey they got a bunch of my shirts down here. More convenient than scary. More furniture. More furniture. Alright…

We’re still not over 9/11? Jesus, we’re like a nation of Pete Davidson’s. You know you’re about to watch something real fucking annoying when you see Ethan Hawke in a Bikini Kill t-shirt. This is my Promising Young Woman. I will be silently judging several of you in the upcoming days and weeks based on your scores and reviews. Keep that in mind. Remember it. There will be no leniency. This is now a police state. When it comes to…

NWR: So I’ve got a show idea.

Netflix: Let’s hear it.

NWR: Almost nobody who pays for your service is gonna enjoy this.

Netflix: Love it.

NWR: It’s really dark, well obviously not the lighting, that’s bi as hell.

Netflix: Of course.

NWR: I mean this thing is like Under The Skin with sex trafficking and spliced in footage of a North Korea state mandated martial arts tournament. I adapted the original story from a vhs tape I found in…