I couldn’t sleep last night so I threw this on in hopes of phasing out - the opposite happened. It is fascinating. Below are my scattered thoughts and observations:

How is that orchid molesting a bee?

Why do snails use their eyestalks for foreplay? 

Are those plants holding hands?

Spiders are a lot like my mom “I’m just gonna Saran Wrap it for you so you can eat it later!” 
 
Centipedes actually do follow each other mouth to anus…

Well fuck. 

I feel like half a butt puppet. 

I had my follow up with the neurologist today and he sort of confirmed my worst fears so now I’m on a thirty day trial of Levadopa. If it works, then I have Parkinson’s. Did I mention FUCK?!

I knew this appointment was coming so I watched something fun and mindless last night. This shit is so silly that Adam Sandler is meant to be the sexy one. He wears a…

In which NIN’s “Closer to God” plays as DeNiro chases a ten year old boy he’s just kidnapped. 

I HOWLED. 

What a weird juxtaposition for the soundtrack: half of it is growling Trent Reznor and the other half is The Rolling Stones. Whaddaya doin’ Tony Scott? Did ya hit yer head? 

Wesley Snipes wears a lovely round hat with a flat crown and Benito Del Toro does a sort of weird Dominican Kermit the Frog voice (he was making choices…

“Can the dog be named Chomby?” 

I’m still processing what I just watched. How can a movie be so simultaneously ugly, mean spirited, tender, grubby, sweet, offensive, horny and romantic? 

Emily Skeggs and Kyle Gallner: both actors look like actual humans and bring such specificity of character to their roles - Skeggs especially. Her weird little cheek puffing and almost Wiggum-like innocence are confusing at first and as you come to understand that she’s just a neurodivergent chick who’s figuring…

There are three aspects of this movie I want to talk about:

1. Schwarzenegger’s childlike exuberance. He’s almost beatific as Julius, the benefactor of the best bits of the ‘sperm milkshake.’ Up until this it was all Commando, Red Heat, Terminator - and yes: Commando is funny as hell but I don’t think that was deliberate. I really enjoyed the purity and guilelessness of his first (intentionally) comedic performance. 

2. Chloe Webb’s attraction to Danny DeVito. She legitimately seems hot…