One problem I have with seeing films is that I am currently employed as a movie executive and I cannot tell you where. I wish I could tell you. You’d be interested. You’d follow me on this platform right now and see what I was up to. What I can tell you, thank god, is that I have just remade this movie with Adam Driver starring in every role. Adam Driver plays motorcycle boy; he plays nic cage with good…

I watched this film with Mr. Strawberry in the drawing room. He had just bought a projector for 129 euro on eBay. He had asked whether I'd split the cost with him, and I said: After I paid for Aldi? He said: This is an investment. I'll get the next round of Aldi. That was just fine. The thing about friendship is that it's sometimes hard to manage money between the two of you, especially when you have a friend…

Implies the existence not only of Stinky Miller but of another man named Miller who is or is not related to Stinky and does or does not exist on the same plane of reality. There are, at the moment, more questions I’m facing about all this than answers that satisfy me but give me a little time and I’ll see what I can find out. This afternoon from the bedroom I saw a coyote walking along the wall in the backyard…

Let's be honest, this is the only movie you've ever watched. Admit it. You tell your wife, "I'm going to put on Notting Hill again," to make her leave the room—"Again?" she asks—so you can put on THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM. You know it's a problem. You've justified it to yourself. This has been a difficult year, you say. I need comfort in my life, you say. One more time watching THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM won't…