Title: Reb Chizkiyahu Ironcrust's Guide To Cross-Cultural Relations.
Author: lannamichaels
Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Series: The Halacha Of Ankh-Morpork
Rating: G
A/N: Shana tova, y'all. Previous ones are too long and cumbersome to list individually anymore, here's the Dreamwidth tag and now there's also subcollections. Glossary is below the fic.
Archives: Archive Of Our Own, SquidgeWorld

Summary: A helpful explainer for the dwarfs of Ankh-Morpork from Reb Chizkiyahu Ironcrust.



Community reminders:

An unfortunately necessary reminder regarding our werewolf cousins:

We all know werewolves count for a minyan without being required to change back first. We will never say otherwise! But first you must always check that the werewolf is a werewolf.

I know, sometimes it is hashkama and we are perhaps still very tired, but there have been several reports of dogs being counted. You must always ask the werewolf! It is a grave insult to our werewolf cousins to confuse them with dogs.

Even if it is Purim and the werewolf is costumed as a dog, you must still verify!



Using the Ankh for tashlich

It has long been the ruling that you cannot use the Ankh for tashlich. This has not changed for dwarfs.

While it is true that trolls may use it, this is because trolls have a different mesora for what is water, due to our different relationships to moisture.

Dwarfs who are also trolls may ask their local halachic authority if they have specific concerns, but should follow community minhag if they do not.

Note: no one thinks you can use the Ankh as a mikvah! Please do not take halachic advice from comedians in dwarf bars.

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And now, answers to your Tishrei shailos:

Vampires have very long names. Can we shorten the names when we call them up to the Torah?

No.



But Simchas Torah is already very long!

NNNNNNNoooooo. There, that is also very long.



A vampire has changed into bat form but only some of the bats are in the shul. Can we count that vampire for the minyan?

No, a partial vampire is not a vampire.



Can a dwarf use a golem shofar?

B'dieved, yes, l'chatchila, no.



Can a dwarf be yotzei from a golem blowing a golem shofar?

Shofars are quite literally minhag avoseinu b'yadeinu. Golem shofars are made of clay, while dwarf ones may be stone or metal. If you are attending a golem shul, you may be yotzei with the rest of the kehillah. Al tifrosh min ha'tzibbur!



Can I use a dragon for kapparos?

No, because of the sakana.



And on the subject of kapparos, we complete this month's bulletin with a return to a previous question:

Can we use paper money for kapparos?

We have updated our guidance on this matter and I am pleased to say the answer is now yes! You may use paper money for kapparos.

You may of course also continue to use stamps as usual.

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Glossary:

Al tifrosh min ha'tzibbur: don't separate yourself from the community.

B'dieved: after the fact; if you're asking after you've already done it

Halacha: Jewish law

Hashkama: shacharis (morning prayer) that is done at an earlier time and/or as close to the earliest possible time

Kehillah: congregation

Kapparos: a ritual that some perform before Rosh Hashana that involves donation to charity

L'chatchila: before the fact; if you're asking before you did it

Mesora: tradition

Mikvah: A place for ritual bathing or immersion of vessels

Minhag: a custom, considered fairly binding on an individual, and can only be changed under specific circumstances

Minhag avoseinu b'yadeinu: literally, the custom of our fathers is in our hands. Less literally: we are performing the custom of our ancestors.

Minyan: a quorum of ten.

Sakana: danger

Shailos: questions asked to a halachic authority to get a halachic ruling

Tashlich: a custom some have of praying by water. Some do this in various points in Tishrei, some don't do it at all.

Yotzei: fulfilled your religious obligation