lameuser, posts by tag: tool - LiveJournal

This is going to be fragmented, and rough to read, at best for a little while (not that anyone really cares) so bear with me and keep in mind that even I don't think it's "complete". I've posted this after an epiphany to a part of this song and how a few "great" youtube videos portray this song as an anti-terror and anti-war message. Nothing TooL has ever done was meant as a response to the world of things, but that's just me. Plus, it wouldn't be consistent with anything they've put out so far. But, hey, as long as you're inspired I suppose it doesn't matter...

Some people get to a point where they wake up all of a sudden, and soon afterwards they begin to truly see and feel they effects of actions, their's or otherwise. This in and of itself is neutral but given the context of our lives here on Earth people who wake up to what's really going on see/feel a great negativity flowing from them and nearly everyone else. The intersting thing about this negativity is that it's created unintentionally by everyone. It seems to be impulsive. This means that when a person becomes aware they see that they contribute to the great flow of negativity naturally and without effort. And, it feels so good.

So, they repressed these tendencies and superficially become that thing they think they should be. This person is not a "bad" person for doing what they are doing because they are trying to live up to a noble expectation. In fact, they may even be considered a role model for some. The values they have and work towards are a testament to the goodness many of us read about in fairy tales and of the hero we can see from afar.
But, this person it not a healed person in any sense of the word. Despite seeming to have the best of intentions and what's best for the whole in heart, what they do externally is forced and done out of the absolute fear that if they aren't the image that they have aspired to be then they won't be worthy. So, this kind of person is a walking paradox; while they work to create a heavenly existence for all it is this action that disables their ability to make it for themselves because they are motivated out of fear instead of the impulse of creativity. And, subconsciously they are distrustful of the divine that they try to honor and praise by forcing certain (heavenly) characteristics to externalize. What they are saying by their actions is that they are afraid to let things just be because they doubt that things will work out on its own.

So, what is the solution? Is there one? Are they the one's that are destined to sacrifice themselves for the good of others? Hardly. If the whole can't survive without these people do we as a race really deserve to continue on? If anyone should enjoy the fruits of their labor it should be the ones who pave the way.
This person has to give in. They have subjugated themselves to this life based out of fear, and have repressed their fear to keep from dealing with the consequences they have imagined. So, the only real thing to do, the healthy thing, is to throw this outside persona of godliness away and let the real person shine through even if it's not the ideal person they have imagined. Shouldn't the ideal person be the natural person? So what if it's a little primitive or barbaric. It's not our place to judge what we are or who we are (and I doubt the divine would judge us for being so). This person has to give in, they have to give up. They have to face their fear and become what they're afraid to face, destruction/annihilation. Then and only then will the fear dissipate so the real personality can come through.

Because that's what it's really about. It's not about saving anything. The planet is fine; it's going to be here long after we're gone. The reason nature is suffering so much is because our destruction is pouring out onto it. We have to heal ourselves before we could ever hope to heal the world we're killing. We're here to deal with ourselves so we can learn to heal ourselves. That's all life is...after we do that everything else just kind of falls into place. So what if this body dies? We
are all going to die anyways. Why not enjoy our lives without all these holy agendas and self-righteous activism So, what if we're a little brutish right now, nothing last forever.

Aside: The tug of war referred to is an internal struggle between the natural impulsive self, seen as negative, and the pseudo self, seen as positive. This twist in perception creates an unnecessary juxtaposition in the self that was referred to in Schism (which almost parallels Right in Two, but they really are different angles). The truth is that we have to let all of our personality through even if it seems harmful, painful, and destructive.

Preface: we all come into this world as fresh souls. There is no Karma (my understanding of karma: the energy given off during the interactions between individual soul and the reality it touches and vise versa) in the immediate reality of "us." After we enter a particular reality we harmonize with it and take on the appropriate karmic values. Given the particulars of our human lives we, as light bodies, are faced with the challenges of overcoming our unconscious impulsive side, the dense bodies. Unconscious impulses are not always negative, but negative impulses are seen as deficiencies/impurities (aka SIN) within the light body. You wouldn't want to walk around shitting in your pants just because you felt the urge, would you?

Phase 1-Integration: As light bodies on Earth we are set with the task of refining our dense energies. Well, being born into a human body is NOT enough to integrate the polarities, unless the dense energy is interwoven into the individual's personal karma (which is usually the case for most people). There needs to be events embedded within the early life of a lightbody to insert these energies deep within. Most of us are instantly are "tainted" by these dense energies at birth (aka birth trauma). Birth traumas vary from person to person and are usually based on the karma of each person. Birth Trauma acts a disconnector from the source, which forces us to exist as new souls (no memory of supreme consciousness). Even though birth trauma is very powerful and intense it alone is not enough to solidify these energies into place. To do this there needs to be events in the lightbody's life that gives them destructive habits and negative creativity. The point of integration is to make the lightbody and dense energies exist as one. This is the only way to refines said energies. But, it should be noted that dense energies can congregate into densebodies almost as natural as lightbodies.

Phase 2-Identification: This is where the song comes in. The whole point of phase one was/is to wield the polarities together on an EQUAL playing field. Phase two will be the lightbodies unconscious urge to refine and heal. This starts with the immediate identification with something being "out of place/tune." It develops into understanding that their entry and development into this world was mishandled. "It took so long to remember just what happened. I was so young and vestal; you knew it'd hurt me." But, it must be noted that the individual knows/cares nothing about the preface or phase 1. What they are concerned with is that life is NOT what they were promised it was. This is what the whole Opiate album is about (sortof), but Intolerance has a much more direct connection to where this individual is coming from in Phase 2.

Phase 3-Learned Helplessness: When a person gets to the point where their fed up with the way the powers-that-be are handling things (The individual's life, in particualr) they THINK they can do something about it. Learning Helplessness is the focus of Prison Sex. It is the heart of the issue, not someone literally being raped in prison (although it is an exquisite metaphor that perfectly depicts what's happening). As the Muslim insurgants are learning in Irag and as the main character did in SLC Punk, a man stands no chance against an experienced Machine (I mean, look at Zach from RATM). When a person finds that even though they have good ideals and know why it's important to have them, they find out that they were never really taught HOW to achieve them. All we were ever taught in the States was some bullshit about America being great and some Math and some Science and "proper" English (not that anybody used it), but we were never taught HOW to unfuck ourselves from the mindless self indulgence known as American consumerism. Despite the act of realizing how unconsciously fucked we were and having the ideals that "we're not going to be like 'them'," we still need to eat and survive. And, the only way we can do that is the (fucked) ways we were taught as children- Consumerism: Get a good job with more pay and you're ok. And, if we were to try to move in another direction we would feel the force of thousands moving against us. So, what do we do? We survive! We give in and give up despite knowing how much more we are going to be fucked because of it. In the end, we were never taught how to deal with our problems. All we were ever taught is how to be good children.

Phase 4-Breña: Well, what happens to most of us when we realize that the person we WANT to be and the person we were TAUGHT to be are not one and the same? PAIN occurs (either emotionally, physically, or logically). Most people go through an episode of intense internal struggle (I know I did/am). It's the main focus of their mind. Nothing can make them stop thinking about it. Most goals and desires that they previously held are thrown to the side. And, for the most part, there is nothing that anybody can do to "help" them deal with it. With a loss of ambition comes the loss of directions, and much of their time is spend wandering around (internally and externally). Guilt, shame, and hatred are their best friends. Most people try to find someone to blame for their predicament, including themselves. But, blame is a cowardly game that doesn't accomplish much. This phase is where most people are today, and it can be very dangerous if an individual isn't aware of what is really happening to them and does nothing to truly pull themselves through the "mud." Maynard said something along the lines of, "It takes more than rolling in the mud to get yourself clean." The whole "Sober" perceptive comes from the inability to cope with this pain/suffering. But, for those who have patience, competence, and "luck" things will eventually happen to help nudge anyone who feels trapped. Note: The divine helps anyone who needs it, BUT you must have faith and learn when to engage yourself in seemingly worthless events/encounters to receive. "When one door closes another is opened."

Phase 5- The brittle Opiate (The internal escape): The differences in attitude between Opiate and Undertow are blatent. The Opiate perspective is one of angry self-righteous idealism based on the observation that we are childish dillusional animals doing nothing more than indulging our egos. On the other hand, Undertow is a perspective of angry confusion as to why life is so harsh and unforgiving to those who want to just be. In all the obstacles that such an individual faces, none are greater than finding the answer to the question, "Why MUST I suffer?" Keep in mind that this is not a stupid or ignorant individual. They know about harmony and the suffering caused by the seven deadly sins (ie the Laws of Causality), but this knowledge doesn't protect them for the fallibility of the ignorant masses. Where do they turn? What CAN they do? They fall.
The fall deep down. Into the lair of THE DRUG. The DRUG is fun. The DRUG is warm. But, the DRUG is not their friend. The DRUG is ONLY a TEMPORARY ESCAPE (Off note: My drug was/is Marijuana. It is not the same as being a drunk, but the same things can come out of it. Laziness, lack of ambition, and isolation. I have been taught many things through the interactions between my brain and the drug. I have learned things I couldn't have otherwise. And, I have been able to see through the eyes of an addict. This is the importance that the DRUG has. The Drug Experience allows us to see through the eyes of all of our fallen brothers. If you truly want to know how someone could let their lives become such a waste, this is the way.) THE DRUG IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Drug use should only be acceptable when the intent of using it is to get to a point where drug use is NOT neccesary (MOST of the time, medicine are used combat ill-health. When the person becomes healthy, they quit using them). Usually, if the individual truly wants to continue evolving, drug use will phase itself out. This phasing out of the DRUG is from it's inability to fix the PROBLEM. Most of the time, IT ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE (A lesson I learned from drug use). (Side Note: If you truly have pure intent and want to heal then the Collective/Individual Unconscious will make drug use more painful than pleasuable. This is the part where the meaty-man getting stomped down by the big-black-guy.) YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE YOUR (HARSH)REALITY.

Phase 6: The Withered Eye: With the outside world being completely ignorant to this individuals desires and perceptions and the inside world left in complete ruins, the only choice is to wander out into the worlds between illusion & reality. Exploration is the name of the game for anyone who has made it this far. The only option left is to become immersed within the unknown. Somewhere in the shadows reside the pieces necessary to (re)gain fulfillment/stability. But, this is only the beginning. This is the true beginnings of a quest that will forever change the individual. The path ahead is the divine/mystical path that will (eventually) lead to the "(Re)union of Opposites." By this point the eye, as withered as it may be, is visible within an individual's reflection. But, that does NOT mean that it is open...

"I must not Fear. Fear is the mindkiller . Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing . ONLY I WILL REMAIN."
-Adam Jones