Random Goodness

Really now....Kinda creepy.

Stole this from Rikkitsune's Livejournal...who evidently stole it from Ravyn, and another. ^_^





What Rurouni Kenshin Weapon Are You?


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Found this by reading a friend of mine's Live Journal...so I thought I would try it out.

Mou...severely depressed at the moment.

I suppose there are quite a few reasons for this, and I do need to get it off my chest. Eh, might as well write it here so people can laugh at how pathetic I am.


Well, maybe I should update you first before speaking of the bad. Last week, asked my dream boy to prom...and he said yes. Yea- I was shocked out of words. I ended up smiling the rest of the day, not letting anything bother me. Well, that continued for the next week. I was on cloud nine! ^__^

Well, I tried talking to him more- so maybe it wouldn't be as awkward at prom ne? Well yea...he doesn't talk much to me evidently. He talks fine with others, but when it comes to me...lots of awkward silences. I try to start conversations but they end with him saying three-five words. Sadness...

Despite that, I tried to always smile at him and wave when I saw him. I kept positive. Then yesterday at my soccer game..surprise surprise...he was there! I was soooooo happy! I didn't know if he was there for me though...he hadn't been at any games before. Then again, he knows a lot of the girls on the soccer team. Well, I was going to talk to him after the game, but...he left. Before I could gather my stuff...he left. Extreme sadness. I called him later that night though to thank him for coming and everything. Yea...three-five words then silence. So I made an excuse and hung up a little later. Much sadness now. Slightly depressed.

Well this morning, I was aloof...but still smiled and waved at him. Got a wave back, no smile though. Now I though..."Something is wrong...am I bothering him?" Further into the day,I was in the P.E locker room getting changed when Sarah asked me about prom dresses. I said I was still looking for one. "I'm sure Patrick will like anything you wear" Sarah said. I thanked her for that. Another girl on the other side of the room chided in though...saying it just loud enough for me to hear, but pretending that I wouldn't hear. "I dont understand why someone so hot would go to prom with someone as ugly as her..." Grr..

"Do you even know who Patrick is?" Sarah of course...thank her. "Oh I know Pat, he's in track with me. I see him run with his shirt off all the time. Very nice. Hence why I can't understand why he would go with you." Then she left. I just stood there...surprised. Is this what people thought? I looked around at everyone else...and no one backed me up but my friend Sarah.

I end up going to English class and before I manage to slide into the room, I see the girl again with more girls...and they laugh as I pass. I saw their eyes on me. Great...I'm a laughing stock. Melanie (Dear heart) I like her and she is my friend..but what she said upset. "Kathy and I got to feel Patrick's chest...oh is it nice. I'm so jealous of you!" Jealous of me? You did something I haven't even thought of! ...Great. He talks to others more then me, and actually lets them touch him. I can't even hold his hand or whatever.

I confide in my best friend Rachel and she tells me to hang in there and that she still cares. She wants me to have a good time at prom. So yes...Depressed now, fully depressed.

I come home and get ready to go out with my mom to look for prom dresses. I admit that I am not a stick. I am a bit over average. I play sports though so my arms and legs are muscle. Lets just say the dresses dont look good on me. Not flattering. I have wide shoulders and I am 5'8 and a half. Large rib cage. No...dresses would fit. The zipper would get past my waist, but wont go up my rib cage. We ask the manager of the store if they have a size up. Nope, dont sell them that big. My eyes are watery by now. But we go to three more stores...Nothing, zip zero. None, I repeat...none had them in my size. "We dont make prom dresses that big. You'd have to special order them." How long does that take? 15 DAMN weeks. That's too long! Prom is sooner then that! So yes...I cried. In public, I was crying hard.

So here I am..severely depressed now...knowing everything is going wrong, when everything just a week ago...was going perfect. My life must be cursed. Yet, here I am...trying to smile. My parents ask how I am "I'm fine...I'll find a dress dont worry!" All perky and smiling. Big difference from the girl who was crying at the mall.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I question Patrick's actions about prom. Does he really want to go with me? Or is he being nice because I asked him to go with me? Does he want me to leave him alone till prom day? Or does he want to get to know me better? Many questions...that will not go answered I suppose. Why? Because I can't ask him such things...according to others it would be offending them. So I shall sit quietly with my broken heart...and smile. Smile at the others and wish my friends the best luck with prom.

To go to prom...or not to go....

I suppose only time will tell. Until then though, I shall continue to look for a dress...as well as smile and wave at Patrick when I see him.

Wish me luck I suppose...till next I write,

Nikki-san

Wow...

That is all I really have to say at the moment. I can't believe I have neglected this thing for so fricken long. Oi..

Gomen nasai! ^__^


Okay, now that I am back from la la land...time to write some lovely stuff down ne? Lets see...First off I shall complain cause I really want to at the moment. Never really get the chance to so might as well blow off some steam here.


Okies so here we go. *Deep breath*

First off all, on my way to school this morning I was behind a dumptruck that already scared me because I swear the back door of that thing would open any minute and crush me under a ton of junk. Thankfully THAT did not happen, but it did flick rocks at my car which resulted in my windshield now having a nice crack dead center. Great...

Now that I was in a bad mood at school, I tried to shrug it off and see if I could make this day better. Why not ask the person out that you have had your eye on for years now eh? Wrong. Yea..Seems said guy- already have a date for Prom. Make note to find out who seeing as how he didn't reveal it to me. Ah well...life goes on! ^_^

Next! Soccer scrimmage! I love playing soccer that I do. I am the keeper for the Girls Varsity team and today we had a scrimmage against the JV boys. Technically it should have been evenly matched. Um...wrong. I know I wasn't one hundred percent today, seeing as how my finger is sprained as well as both my knees split open from wounds last week. I played anyways. (No I do not need sympathy, seeing as how I got the wounds myself by diving on the ground too many times) Well, lets just say the boys won 5-0 and my defensive team had the gall to tell me it was my fault. Um, excuse me...YOU let them by! Eesh has to get through ten other people before it gets to me...yet it is souly my fault? I dont think so.

So yea, practically rushed to my car to get home so I call my parents to tell them about my windshield...cell phone wont work. For no reason. Yea. I end up going to the gas station to get gas and as I am waiting, a lovely silver car decides he is special and cuts infront of me. *Blink* Excuse me...I was next. "Move faster next time I dont have all G** damned day." WTF? *Gets flicked off* I swear...if I could have I would have hitten him on the head with my bokken...too bad it was at home on the shielf.

Finally...I get home. ^_^ YAY! *Gets called into work* BOO! I rush myself around and finally get to work...only to have my jawdrop. The place was a pig pen...Popcorn everywhere, napkins all over...trays every which way and nothing stocked. "Uh, you're front tonight." I dont think so. I am not being called in to clean up YOUR flippin mess. So I talk to the leader on duty and they tell me they will have them clean it up and that I should go home. So I start to...when I see them write my name on the board to be written up for attitude. Oh man..if they wanted attitude I could have given it to them...but nope- I went home. Go me. Held my temper for a change.

Get home- to parents fighting. About what? College...yesh...lovely college. Something I should be attending this Fall. Will it happen? Who bloody knows. I applied for scholarships...I applied for scouts to come to soccer games to try to get an athletic scholarship. That is all I can really do at this point. I got accepted to four colleges...but money is everything in this world and it is something my family is lacking. (Woo! Go dad who has no job and mom who works at the same place I do...and I get maybe thirty cents less then her...bad...)
Brother...goes to college and has not had a job since he was what...16? and he held it for maybe two months before he quit. Yea...hasn't had a job since. I get better grades them him and I play a sport AND I work...yet I dont get to go to college but he does. Lovely life ne?

o_o I am done ranting now. Woo hoo! On to the good things..

Recently got in touch with some mondo good friends of mine. I dont think they want me to reveal their names over the internet so here we go with nick names. Himura-san, Tomoe-san, Kenshin-san and of course, the fabulous Yumi-san.

Lets see...my lovely muses in my head started to give me more ideas again for writing. Finally..So those are underway.

Hm...besides getting all giddy when I see a certain someone, nothing much else has happened. Ah well...

Till next I write! Mwa!