I'm not sure if I can afford or will go to any of these, but others of you might be interested.
Monday, December 7th Passion Pit / Hockey Crystal Ballroom $17.50 in advance, $20 door Ticketmaster Doors at 7pm, Show at 8pm
Tuesday, December 8th Metric / Band of Skulls Crystal Ballroom $17.50 in advance, $20 door Ticketmaster Doors at 7pm, Show at 8pm
Wednesday, December 9th The Bravery / Airborne Toxic Event Crystal Ballroom $9.47 Ticketmaster Doors at 7pm, Show at 8pm
Thursday, December 10th Vampire Weekend / White Rabbits Crystal Ballroom $25 Ticketmaster Doors at 7pm, show at 8pm
Friday, December 11th Spoon / Black Joe Lewis Crystal Ballroom $25 Ticketmaster Doors at 7pm, show at 8pm
I think more than any of these, I wish I was going to Dropkick Murphys tonight. I feel the need to drink copious amounts of dark beer and break some skulls.
Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (I couldn't think of a better subtitle, so I went for the nerdy.)
1. Communicate your hurt as soon as you feel possible, without being detrimental to yourself. Do so in the most respectful manner you can. Use "I" statements, like "I feel", instead of "You did this." Being hurt and being level-headed do not necessarily equate in many situations, so if needed be willing to give yourself time before the discussion. Ask yourself, "Did they mean to do this?" and respond appropriately. Most people hurt others out of ignorance, not malicious intent.
2. Realize that what you're feeling may not be entirely hinged on the other person's actions. Take time to think about it: was something else brought up, something that isn't really related to what took place but in fact was triggered by it? Own your reactions and the place that they come from. Be honest with the person who hurt you, and tell them if this is the case. In the thick of things it is exceptionally difficult to judge where our emotions are actually originating, and it's easy to pin everything on the person who hurt you regardless of whether they truly deserve it. Emotions may continue to unfold and unfold some more, and your feelings of pain may touch on things you never expected.
3. If the other party feels real remorse, they will make strides to try to correct it. Accept those actions and try to let go of the hurt feelings. It takes a long time to rebuild trust depending on the depth of the wound, but usually relationships are salvageable. After all, this person is in your life because on some level you connected well. But, if the other party does not make strides to correct it... be true to yourself, and ask if the hurt is something you're willing to live with; you have to determine if the answer to that question is "no". If you are feeling disrespected and unheard, you have the right to walk away from the situation. But be willing to look past your own pain if the other person sincerely apologizes and changes their behavior.
And the should-be-unspoken-but-often-needs-to-be-said addendum to THIS particular set of rules is, "Don't use your feelings of hurt to try to hurt them in return." It's not a pissing match, it's a relationship.
Your pain is not something that anyone but you can feel. You have the right to be acknowledged and held in regard, but you also have the responsibility to communicate and be self-aware. No situation is one-sided. There are no victims or bad guys (unless you truly ARE the victim of abuse, then you should ponder Point #3) but hurt feelings are usually the result of lack-of-information and misunderstandings. It's not easy to look past the sadness, confusion, hurt, anger, and feelings of disregard because those are what's REAL to us. Those are completely and utterly valid feelings, but ask yourself if they are in proportion to the situation.
None of this is instinctual or easy; to say so would be a flat-out lie. Being hurt is a terrible, visceral thing that none of us would wish on ourselves or our friends. It's completely against the nature of being hurt to view it logically, but you owe it to yourself and the health of your relationships to do the best you can, just as the other person owes it to themselves and the situation to do so as well. Take time, be true to your emotional reality, and be willing to forgive when presented with remorse and reparations.
Also, be utterly and totally prepared to offer apologies of your own.
This post brought to you by the fact that, even though I try to live these principles in my life, quite often I fuck up and sometimes I really need to be reminded of them. I think we all do.
1. Acknowledge there is a problem. Understand that even if you do not believe that something you did or said was hurtful, the other person does. To disregard this feeling is to disregard the other person entirely. If you are confused about what was hurtful, ask. Any reasonable person will tell you. Accept what you're told, regardless of whether you think the hurt -itself- is reasonable or not. We all have baggage, cloudy pasts and triggers. Respect them and the feelings they produce.
2. Take ownership of the part you played. Saying, "I don't know what I did wrong" or "I didn't do anything wrong" doesn't help fix the core issue. It's not a matter of wrong or right, it's a matter of learning about ourselves and the people we interact with. Feel free to explain your side of the issues, but avoid the above excuses; they shut down all hopes of further communication by, again, disregarding the other person's feelings.
3. Change the offending behavior. Some might call this "making amends" but to me that sounds like something you do just to get the other person off your back. Instead, internalize. If you do not feel that you can change the behavior, then recognize that the other person will often continue to be hurt by it and then be prepared for eventual consequences in your relationship with that person. Don't expect them to "just get over it." See Point 1 RE: disregarding someone else's feelings. And perhaps most important, Change the behavior because you value the other person.
And, I guess, an addendum to all of the above is... do not make an apology simply because you think it's "a thing you have to do". Perhaps that -should- be an unspoken rule, but quite often, sadly, it needs saying.
Saying "I'm sorry" means nothing without the actions to back it up. Saying "I'm sorry" and continuing the hurtful behavior is akin to saying, "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but fuck you. Deal with it." That's not being sorry, that's being abusive. If you genuinely think that you should -not- be sorry... you still should. Being aware of how our behavior affects the others around us is, in my opinion (and of course, this whole thing is just my opinion) the heart of our humanity: Empathy.
If you're in a situation where someone is hurt (and we will assume that they're not being "hurt" to exert some sort of control over you, but they are being true and genuine) then take a step back and ask, "What would -I- like to have happen if -I- was the one feeling hurt?" Then, do those things.
This post brought to you by the guy who used to beat the living shit out of me and then an hour later come into my room crying, saying he "was sorry and that he would never do it again"... then a day later beat the living shit out of me. Actions always speak louder than words.
Dead Things - Emiliana Torrini On My Own - Les Miserables My Love Is Too Much - Vanessa Daou Sympathy For The Devil - Rolling Stones Mysterious Ways - U2 Junkie Girl - Pretty Boy Floyd Scum - Napalm Death A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Procol Harum To The Rescue - Nightmare Before Christmas (Score) Chains Of Time - Neverendless
Minion1 trying to explain hip-hop artists then threatening to kill me for not knowing who he's talking about (he also says this about TV, because I don't watch any.) Also, him doing impressions of everyone who works here, including me. XD
Getting asked, "When are you going to come over and be -my- boss?" by someone who -used- to be of a higher rank then me when we worked together a few years ago.
So cool on so many levels. I won't even begin to say what it's about (read the URL) but even if you hate weddings you will likely enjoy the pictures of this one.
They say every one should have their heart broken, at least once. That that is how you grow emotionally. Well, I have been misused by many many many men, but nothing can compare to how you treated me.
At times it really felt as though the pain was here to stay. And though it’s many years ago, I feel it to this day. And nooooow you wanna be my friend on Facebook… Are you fucking kidding me?
All the memories are flooding back to me now. All the ways you stole the light from my eyes. I traveled so far just to get away from you! Till this mornings friend request surprise.
At times it really felt as though I’d never smile again. You narcissistic asshole, oh you nasty nasty man. And noooooow you wanna be my friend on Facebook… Are you fucking kidding…?
I don’t wanna know what kind of cocktail you are or which member of the Beatles or which 1950’s movie star. I don’t give a toss if you’re a ninja or a pirate, I’d suspect you’d be a pirate but I don’t wanna verify it. And I don’t give a sh*t what your stripper name is or if your Kitty had a litter. Look, just follow me on Twitter. I dont care about your family tree and I certainly dont want you poking me! .. again.
And nooooow you wanna be my friend on Facebook… oh you fucking fucking fuck.
Another Perfect Catastrophe - Firewater Dip - T.H.C. I Melt With You - Modern English Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Desert - Pink Floyd Heroes From Our Past - Dropkick Murphys Promise - Violent Femmes You Make Me Wanna Shout - Little Richard Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix Stairway To Heaven - Led Zepplin Cesaro Summability - Tool
Water turns to sand and turns to sound Follow me I'm going underground This orbit is an interlude Temporary, planetary food
Lend me your fire, so I can burn Save all my ashes for my return Not with a scream but with a sigh Keep your head down low and keep your hands held high
You've got to admit it's over I've got to admit it's over now
Lava turns to light and turns to waste Swallow me and tell me how I taste People stare and some pretend to speak It takes more than one taboo to build a perfect freak
You've got to admit it's over I've got to admit it's over now
The war is over The boys are over The game is over The fame is over
You've got to admit it's over I've got to admit it's over now
You've got to admit it's over I've got to admit it's over now
The game is over The deal is over The dream is over, underground The chase is over The scream is over Playtime's over, underground The joke is over The dream is over The song is over, underground
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