lily

FUCK I AM CRAVING DRUGS SO BAD!

I've been sober for TOO LONG. TOO FUCKING LONG.

My boyfriend can't understand. He's sober. Never fucked around much with dope.

He doesn't understand that my mind KNOWS I've been sober for tooooooo long.

I'm dying here.

the boyfriend told me he loves me.

maybe he won't mind that I'm snorting his ativan script.

cocaine, weed, jwh-18, alcohol and 4mmc.  

I LIKE 4MMC!  Like blow and MDMA combined.

Need to get more of that shit.

last of the blow's goin' up my nose in a minute.

then snorting some ativan, to help me forget, and sleep.

This blow is so good, I got a nosebleed on the 5th line.  Small lines.  Holy shit.

60 mg codeine
300 mg tramadol

it's no oxy, or h, but it's brightened up my day.

in other news, my oxy dealer moved away.  
i may still have a hookup, but, *sigh*
i've known him forever, and i trust him...

mmmmmm, percocets are awesome

so, my best friend wanted to eat a DOUBLE DOWN from kfc.
i went with him, and ate one.

it was actually okay... but... the bulimic in me was unhappy at the end, and lost it.
yeah, i threw it up.

i tried another one, today, and the same thing happened.  it's just too much...
it's all greasy and stuff.  very tasty, but, it's everything that's wrong with that form of hedonism.

UGH.

i've been sorta clean for a while.  mostly because i'm sorta broke.

livin' in a new pad, got a new (stable) roomie, and i've been off the shit for a while...

however.

a neighbor, who is really cool (family man, ex-military) told me he had some lortabs... when i seemed interested, he also told me he had morphine.

i spent money, which i shouldn't have, on some of the shit today.  lower dose (15mg) morphine for $2 a pill.  i bought 10.  also, 10 lortabs.
he pretty much told me he always has the shit... ooooooh fuck man!  awesome.  next door contact (but i don't wanna hit him up too much, built in restraint system?).

i'm about to do snort  my 4th morphine, and i've eaten a couple lortabs.  prolly gonna take a cold pill with dxm and stuff in it too.

aside from some nausea (which is rare for me, but, i've also been smokin' like a freight train, and i didn't starve myself beforehand like i do sometimes)...
whew.  little sweaty and lightheaded too.

going to watch some tv, and do this 4th pill.


TTYS!

I'VE GOT AN 80!
I'VE GOT AN 80!

I SHOULD SELL IT.
BUT I'M GONNA *DO* IT!

i've got an 80!

I had a good time.

Got some HYDROMORPHONE (hydrochloride).

=)

and some weed!

a.k.a. Dilaudid!
Strength: 2 mg
Imprints: "M" on one side of the small/white/round pill, "2" on the other side
brought to you by Mallinckrodt Medical Inc.

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