BrAinWArPed iNsoMniAc

...fuck a natalie
...fuck a sarah
...fuck a becca
...fuck an ash
...fuck a nichole
...fuck a michelle
...fuck an ariel
...fuck a megan
...fuck a heather
...fuck a kelly
...fuck a kelly
...fuck everybody else

fuck everybody who's ever made me feel like there was even the POSSIBILITY of spending even one goddamn night on this planet NOT fuckin alone...and of course, i just realized WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE...i try my fuckin hardest just to be myself, and i can make friends where i choose, but when it comes to something lasting, those who wanna be with me, no matter how good looking they are or how good their personality is, i just don't trust them. not a single damn one. i've become so fuckin psychotic lately that it really doesn't matter anymore, because everything's trippin me out and i'm even planning out the killings of several people that i normally wouldn't even think to kill or even insult, but my mind has come up with ways to do it and get away with it. my advice to anyboy is to get away from me...i should seriously quit my job and call the county health department for help, because i'm not even worried about me anymore...i don't know what's wrong, but i just realized that i'm really a danger to everybody i know...even closer friends like joe kewl, pothead, pimpsmack...




fuck i hate being me


and yet i kinda like me......

...my guy stole my gal...
lol

well, same ol' same ol'. had a pretty decent week thus far, which basically means i havent gotten severely pissed off at anybody at work. kelly got like 2/3 of her hair chopped off, and now she looks exactly like this really lopsided fat girl that used to stare at me at my old telemarketing job...well, that got her outta my mind real quick, let me tell you. one problem solved lol. i havent really talked to megan since we hung out last weekend, and that particular relationship feels like it's taking its usual route. kimmay's been calling an awful lot lately, which is pretty nice for a change. today i worked on an all black line at work. 6 blacks, 1 white. whatever, if it was a chess game it would've been 6 black pawns, 1 white king, and no tradin up for queens, fuck yea.
quick question, even though i already know the answer...what does it mean when a girl you work with goes out of her way to tell you that she dumped her boyfriend and blah blah blah, all the while making eye contact...then breaks eye contact while telling you that your relationship rules are stupid, mainly the two relating to her(work and age(she's 20), and that you should give someone a chance. hmmmm i wonder...grrrr i guess nobody will accept that i'm gonne be single forever lol

Your element is Shadow: Indifferent, unusual,
gentle and a complete mystery. No one tends to
know quite what to think of you because you
camouflage your emotions so incredibly well,
almost as well as your thoughts. You are
unpredictable in that no one knows exactly what
your going to do or what your capable of and
you've made sure they never will. You are quite
the wallflower but deep down inside is a kind
and very intelligent person. You are capable of
love but unless you let some light into your
shadowed life you'll have a hard time with your
relationships. People are a mystery only
because they all seem too superficial, you
would rather be somewhere else, away from all
the noise perhaps putting your feelings into a
form of art, maybe writing your feelings into a
poem or journal, or perhaps painting a picture.
The shadows make you feel comfortable and you
don't like to step outside your comfort zone or
let anyone else in, the spotlight terrifies
you. You are truly a mystery.


.:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

you know, sometimes i get around to wondering...why does anybody even bother caring whether or not they're alone. as much as i hate it, it really is the best way to go. no matter what, throughout all of time, you truly are alone. each time a person gets involved with somebody new, it's just a distraction or pathway that either shrouds the truth, or leads you on until the next period of loneliness. just about every time a breakup or similar situation occurs, it either gets worse, if you're emotional, or easier for those of us who have learned to not give a shit(which then others might say is wrong, but is yet a solution which i have found plausible). some people may say it's a search for that one special person to spend the rest of your life with, but what happens when that person dies??? you're alone yet again. it is inevitable, this endless chain of life's loneliness, emptiness. even those who believe in some sort of life-affirming afterplace still as yet undetermined by those without faith and even some with, must realize that in this so-called 'afterlife', a person will still be alone awaiting the former companion to join them many years along the way, should they even get to that same particular 'afterlife'. it's a cycle, and it continues forever into eternity...


...and i straight up fuckin hate it

So Saturday i had plans to hang out with Meggs at my motel. I was just loading up the car when Adam called, fresh outta jail, so i went and saw him and Vicki for a bit. Jail weened him off the junk and he doesnt even smoke cigs anymore...how marvelous.
Afterwards Meggs met me at the motel, and we just got tipsy off ciclon and strawberry vodka, watched some movies, played some games...good times, good times. It's been awhile since I've hung out with my friends, which helped to make up for a really shitty week.
when again?

thine eyes have never before this day lain sight upon such true, unmasked, and unmatched beauty as is revealed by your heavenly face

well, as of yesterday, kevin saunderson signed a 3-year contract with Detroit to produce Fuse-In Detroit: Electronic-Soul Movement, the newest replacement for the original DEMF...in case you didn't already know this pj, they wanna split it between live bands and djs, so that it's not just electronic.

oh yea, and they wanna charge for it too...